FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you
need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five
minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.
NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something" and you should
be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "Nothing" usu ally end in
"Fine".
GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but it is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over
"Nothing".
THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a
man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're
welcome.
WHATEVER
It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
"What did you say?"
No, she's not hard of hearing. She's just giving you a chance to recant
the stupid thing that just came out of your mouth and to either escalate
the conflict by saying it louder (remember, you'll lose) or to come up with
a clever substitute that sounds pretty close to it (like instead of
saying, "That's why I hate you," you would say, "That's why I dated you").
WARNING: If you try to use "Nothing" as a response, she won't accept it.
Send this to the men you know to warn them about future arguments they can
avoid if they remember the terminology!
And send it to your women friends to give them a good laugh!
* It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning
to others.