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Tuesday, September 12, 2006 Love & Lust (personal meditation, sparked by questions...) (not written by me) Current mood: confused Category: Life There are two words in the English language that are easily confused... These being "love" and "lust". Love is like a candle... it gives its light freely and without compunction, but can be made to burn forever... It is found in the moment when presence means far more than contact, or desire... when just knowing that the other is there will suffice... Lust is like an all-consuming bonfire, burning fast and fierce in its intensity, but destined to last only until its hunger is sated... This is found when the desire for contact holds more value than presence...When hunger and desire become a moot point... In the early stage, it is not easy to tell the two apart, or see where one begins and the other ends... This does not say that either one is wrong, but it is best to know the difference... The steadfastness of love, or the raw passion of lust, are both good things, so long as onecan tell them apart for what they are... We, as people can choose to embrace either one... What we, as human beings need to know is what can decide which is which? The answer is... time and patience. Does it burn fast, or burn forever? Only time will tell, so wary should we be. Could either person go for a lifetime, never touching, and still be happy, so long as they know that the other is all right? If it is not love, in it's true or conventional sense, do we, as people share our passions any less? Should we? It's not much, just the result of a long meditation, that I chose to share with you... We all need to know the truths that lie within ourselves, and free ourselves from the confusion that binds us all...

Feelings.......

Tuesday, September 12, 2006 Feelings....... Current mood: confused Category: Life I hate feeling the way that I am feeling, right now. I'm so unsure about everything. I'm so confused. I'm so excited and scared in the same sense. How can one person feel all of this at one time. And to top it off, I'm anxious, hyper and eager in the process. How can one person, make another feel all of this. And what does it all mean. But I guess, it's easy when the person is vulnerable to all these feelings, very easily to begin with. What does one do when they are but a "lost soul" trying to figure out, who they are, where they belong, what makes them happy, and where do they fit in.... Someone who is like a lost "little girl" in a grown woman's body. Waiting to be loved, by one special someone. Hell, she already could be, and just doesn't know it. I've been told to look deep inside myself for the answers, but I don't have a clue, as to how to do that. I've been told that the"eyes are the gateway to the soul and can't hide things". I've been told that there is alot of doubt in others in my eyes, distrust, but that there is a playful soul locked away in them too. I've also been told in the past, that my eyes speak volumes. Back to how one person can make another feel this way, I guess it has to do with completely trusting them with everything that you are- mind, body, heart & soul and with your very life. How can you connect mentally with someone, before you ever meet them. Why is it such a scary feeling..... And why is it so intense........ i leave this for all to read to decide and leave their words of wisdom, for me and anyone else who has ever wondered these things, or felt this way....

Have you ever wondered?

Wednesday, September 27, 2006 Have you ever wondered? Current mood: confused Category: Life Have you ever wondered? Body: Have you ever wondered which hurts the most? Saying something and wishing you hadn't?, or Saying nothing and wishing you had? I guess the most important things are the hardest things to say.Don't be afraid to tell someone you love them. Have u ever decided not 2 become a couple because you were so afraid of losing what you already had with that person? Your heart decides whom it likes and whom it doesn't. You can't tell your heart what to do. It does it on its own........when you least suspect it, or even when you don't want it to. Have you ever wanted to love someone with everything you had, but that other person was too afraid to let you ? Too many of us stay walled up because we are too afraid to care too much...for fear that the other person does not care as much, or even at all. Have you ever denied your feelings for someone because your fear of rejection was too hard to handle? We tell lies when we are afraid... afraid of what we don't know, afraid of what others will think, afraid of what will be found out about us. But every time we tell a lie, the thing we fear grows stronger . LIFE IS ALL ABOUT RISKS, AND IT REQUIRES YOU TO JUMP. Don't be a person who has to look back and wonder what they would have done, or could have had.

What Deadly Sin Are You???

You are Lust!Sexy!! But they say that theres such a thing as too much of a good thing. You have sex on the brain, and it doesn't stay just there for long. Passionate, Fiery - and most certainly confident. You're a fun loving, spontaneous person who is always up for a laugh. People however, have trouble keeping up with you. You're sex crazy, and perhaps need to tone it down a bit! learn a little self control!But, Hey, Congratulations on being the Sexiest Red Hot deadly sin out of all the 7... Take this quiz!

Contemplating Life

Tuesday, November 14, 2006 Contemplating Life Current mood: blah Category: Life As I sit & wonder what it is that I am searching for, my mind is spinning in multiple directions. Contemplating life and soul searching, only to go nowhere. Still a lost soul. Not wanting to get close, in fear of hurting. Not of my hurting,but of the hurting of others, which I seem to do so well at. Though maybe it's because I have wounds that have never healed from being hurt, myself. Emotional scars. Wounds that cut deep into the soul and have made me cold & numb. The distrust in others, that people have seen in my eyes. The pain that has made me the "Bitch" that I am. Afraid of repeating the past. Which I have done quite well, before. To truly find the reason for the pattern to change. The reason to truly be happy. Continually, building the walls around me, to keep out what can hurt me and what I can hurt back. The walls that will take patience and trust to dissolve and breakdown. The ones that are put up, not to keep others out, but to see, who cares enough, to break them down. To be alone is not so bad, there are times when it sucks. But to know if I am truly ready to share myself with anyone is another battle. I believe that I shall need to remain cautious & exclusive to noone until I determine when I am truly ready to share my world and my heart.

Lessons Learned

Lessons Learned Category: Life Lessons Learned : Every day is a new day to experience new things and learn from past experiences. Some easier to handle than others but none the less worth knowing. These lessons consist of things from feelings, relationships, how you see others, as well as yourself. What you fear most, hold dear to you, truly love, what you feel in your head and in your heart. The things don't come easy and make it hard to accept, in one's life. Pieces to a puzzle, to be put together and figured out. A kind of soul searching as it may be. There are no easy fixes or answers, only one can decide what one truly wants in love and life. As far as relationships go, well only you can decide what you really and truly feel. Follow your heart, I know that sounds crazy to alot of people. Especially those who have been used or hurt or played one to many times. But the feeling you get and the rewards is well worth the amount of pain you may open yourself up to. Noone ever said it was going to be easy. Hell if it was it wouldn't be worth it let along letting someone in and giving them a chance to be a part of your life, let along your existence.

A True Friend:

Category: Friends A True Friend: A true friend sees the first tear, catches the second tear and bitch slaps the motherfucker who causes the third.... Send to ur true friends including the one who sent it to u.....

Breaking Inside:

Breaking Inside: Ever feel like you're breaking inside, like your whole world, your heart and your soul are just tearing apart and breaking? Many of us do. While trying to find ourselves, we continue to search for someone to hold dear to us, to share our joy, calm our fears and fill our loneliness. Whether this person be a close friend, a family member or a newer friend in our lives, or a soulmate or lover. Noone likes to be alone, though some say they would rather be alone. We all need someone to truly care, besides our family. If indeed they truly do. A simple gesture....A smile, a touch, is all that is sometimes needed to brighten someone's day and make them smile. Life is complicated enough, why does everything get made out to be too. With every breath we should be glad of the new day, to smile...meet someone new and hopefully be fulfilled in someway as not to feel as if we are breaking inside...

things about Gemini's

things about Gemini's Category: Dreams and the Supernatural Gemini is the third Sign of the Zodiac, and those born under this Sign will be quick to tell you so. That's because they love to talk! It's not just idle chatter with these folks, either. The driving force behind a Gemini's conversation is their mind. The Gemini-born are intellectually inclined, forever probing people and places in search of information. The more information a Gemini collects, the better. Sharing that information later on with those they love is also a lot of fun, for Geminis are supremely interested in developing their relationships. Dalliances with these folks are always enjoyable, since Geminis are bright, quick-witted and the proverbial life of the party. Even though their intellectual minds can rationalize forever and a day, Geminis also have a surplus of imagination waiting to be tapped. Can a Gemini be boring? Never! Since Geminis are a mix of the yin and the yang, they are well represented by the Twins. The Gemini-born can easily see both sides of an issue, a wonderfully practical quality. Less practical is the fact that you're not sure which Twin will show up half the time. Geminis may not know who's showing up either, which can prompt others to consider them fickle and restless. They can be wishy-washy, too, changing their mood on a simple whim. It's this characteristic which readily suggests the Mutable Quality assigned to this Sign. Mutable folks are flexible and go with the flow. Further, the Twins are adaptable and dexterous and can tackle many things at once. It's a good thing, too, when you consider their myriad interests. The downside of such a curious mind, however, can be a lack of follow-through. How much can any one person do, anyway? Ruled as they are by the Planet Mercury, Geminis exhibit a delicious brand of mercurial energy. They are quick-thinking, quick-witted and fast on their feet, much like the messenger god of Roman mythology that rules their Sign. Geminis are both curious and clever, which is why they are such a hit at cocktail parties. Although they talk a great game, they also love to listen and learn. With any kind of luck, the Twins will find themselves in interesting company, because if they don't, they are likely to get bored and start fidgeting. Any social setting is a good one for a Gemini, however, since these folks are charming, congenial and love to share themselves with their friends. While their effusiveness may be misconstrued as scheming by some, Geminis generally have their hearts in the right place. It's that ample energy which can also paint them as scatterbrained and unfocused, but behind all that zipping around, the Twins are busily filing all that good data away. The Element associated with Gemini is Air. Air Signs are the thinking person's Sign, and the Twins don't disappoint. Those born under this Sign prize intellect and consider it the key to all things. At work, they are the clearest of thinkers, looking at a project from all (well, at least two) sides and putting forth some logical and well-thought-out ideas. This quality makes Geminis an asset to any team, and while these folks are not inclined to take the lead, they are a most valuable component. It's also the Gemini's literary bent which allows them to offer a useful perspective on most any situation. The Twins also enjoy bringing their objective reasoning and big-picture ability into their personal relationships. While some may perceive all this logical thought as cold and unemotional, it's simply how these folks tick. They want to connect, they just do it their own way. Luckily for Geminis (and their pals), their lightness of spirit and youthful exuberance help them to appear forever young. In keeping with that skip in their step, Geminis enjoy short road trips -- and their agile minds and nimble hands ensure that they could change a tire (if needed) in no time flat. Is all of this Twin-energy more than any one person can handle? Ah, maybe that's why they are two. When it comes to sports, Geminis would seem a natural for doubles tennis -- and they are. They love the camaraderie of games and play, which is why they excel at team events. Whether it's volleyball or a game of Charades, Geminis are always ready to play. A book club would certainly stimulate their literary minds. In the game of love, Geminis are playful, flirtatious and endless fun. Physically speaking, Gemini rules the nervous system, which is why Twins should practice yoga or deep breathing techniques. Layering themselves in soft yellows and blues will also calm their mood. The great strength of the Gemini-born is in their ability to communicate effectively and to think clearly. Adventures of the mind are what the Twins are all about. They also love to share themselves with their friends, and they make for charming companions.
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