well i have written blogs before and that was on myspace... but now im writng one on the LC and for some odd reason it seems so different... maybe becuz everyone can read them hmmm i dont know... but here goes..
for the past couple months ive been through alot in my life.. some real ups and downs in life..
all i have is one question that i wish i could answer for my self but i cant becuz its way to confusing... why does love have to be so complicating??? i have three very important men in my live that i love dearly...
one has had my heart from the first day that i saw him.. when we looked into each others eyes for the first time is was very magical i knew then and there that i woud have a very happy life with him.. and to this day i still feel that...he has been there for me when i needed him...he was there for me when my friend jeff died (R.I.P Jeff) he was there for me when i was having problems with my family.. but when i needed him the most he wasnt there but thats only becuz him and i were not talking.. when i wanted to tell him that i loved him for the first time i just couldnt becuz i didnt want to scare him off cuz i didnt know how he felt about me.. i eventually came around and told him that i loved him... but then i have been wondering was it a mistake??? becuz he didnt say it back...so i found out last night that he feels the same way that he wants to be with me.....
the second guy is also very important to me for reasons that i dont know yet..he has is flaws but for some reason i deal with them like they are nothing...he has threaten to hit me but i still love him... i have been through alot of shit with him... ive gotten into alot of shit wit him also but no matter what things we gotten into i dont care cuz i love him.. he is a very important person.. he knows how i am and at times he can deal with it but other times he can not... ive put myself through hell over him... i almost had to be admitted to the hospital for him cuz i did some crazy shit to TRY to prove to him that i love him when in the end he knew how i felt and i didnt have to TRY to prove myself... since he has been locked up hes realized how he treated me and he said he was sorry for it but do i really want to go through all that pain and heartache agian for someone that isnt ready to settle down????
then the third guy is someone that i actually met on LC hes very special to me hell we talk just about everynight... i cant sleep right if i dont hear his voice before i go to bed.. he said to me last night that he loved me.... i didnt know what to do...i was scared cuz the last guy u told me that he loved me before i could tell him was the guy i was supposed to spend the rest of my life with... im scared that this guy might do me dirty and dick me over... but i know in my heart that he is not like that he is a very sincere guy.. i can tell he cares a lot about me... do i take a chance with someone that i have never met before????
now as u can see my love life is very confusing and i dont know what to do these three men are very important to me but as i think about all three of them one keeps popping in my head and i dont know if that is supposed to be a sign on whether or not to go wit him.. so can someone please help me out
