I don't know what to do now? I mean everyone keeps asking me if I am going to stay or leave. And I don't know.... I have no clue what to do. I just still cant beileve this is happening. He cheated on me... he actually slept with someone else... I keep having to tell myself that b/c i just can't wrap my mind around it.
I don't understand how this happens. I know it's obviously b/c apparently I dont give it up enough or hell maybe i'm just not good in bed anymore. I dunno. I wish I did though. I wish there was a specific reason why this has happened. But I think it's just one of those things... one of those bad things that always seems to happen to me. I don't think I'll ever be in a happy relationship. I think that is something that is impossible for me to have.
How can I stay? How? I mean I can't even stand him looking at me right now... much less touching me. Everytime I close my eyes or even think about him I see him with her. And everytime it feels like some one knocked the wind out of me.
But then again i don't see how i can leave. I love him.... Hell Im married to him. How can i just give that up. How can I walk away from that?
I just can't see the beginning to this road. I can't find the way that I start working through this. Im lost I don't know how to do this? How do you rebuild trust once someone destroys it? How do you not worry moment that you're not with them? How can I ever have a good healthy relationship with someone who apparently was willing to throw it all away? Is it possible?
