justasmalltowngirl65's blog: "Whatever"

time to rebuild the wall around my heart..he chipped it away stone by stone and he wasn't even trying..i know he'll never love me..no biggie..no man ever has..but i'm content to sit and love him..be his friend..whatever..there's no one i'm hurting but myself..there's no one in the real world that is even semi-interested..the few i have met on line who are even remotely close by are just playing the same old games..so who cares? i've tried to push him out..let someone else in..but no one comes close..it's my life..i'll live alone die alone..doesn't really matter anymore..i'm not letting myself cry over it..

I Love You Baby. I've never told you upfront for one reason. I know what you're gonna say. So I'm sticking by the promise I made to myself a year and a half ago when that one other man who could even compare to you told me the same thing. *sigh* I'll never tell another man how I really feel again. It's not worth the pain and humiliation when you find out you're only good enuf for the "friends with bennies" life. I'd rather be alone.