The Professor's blog: "What you need to know...."

so its been a year since i last posted something on here...at least according to what i was looking at. Alot of people I thought were mt friends turned up to be fake as fuck. some who were my friends have left for one reason or another. I know i havent met any of yal in real life but i feel like, if we are talking and communicating on a regular basis that makes us friends, or something. Maybe im just fucked in the head for thinking and hoping that. I dont know, but thats my take on it. I do hate the fact that i think about you so m uch thought. yeah it was all fun in games in the lounge, when the lounge was up and running. i hate the fact that we meshed so well and shared so much much on and off of here. face timing and texting ...and then ...poof your gone. then your back and then gone. I hate the fact that i cant listen to music and not think about you. I hate the fact that we were friends and now...its dead...gone...nothing. Maybe it was stupid of me to put so much trust in the fact that you were being honest, should i have listened when they tried to expose you and what you were doing...was i stupid for waiting to talk to you and let you know i didnt appriciate being lied to? how fucking stupid was i for thing that you would be anymore honest even after our conversations...you just ...left. Like what the entire fuck? I will never be able to visit london with out wondering what your doing, what book are you reading, what song are you hearing, how are the girls doing...and its your fault. i do miss you...and your laugh, your smile...hearing your voice tell me the most mundane and and absolute ordinary of things about your day, but it was you and it was life through your eyes. i do miss that. I miss hearing the exciting when a new tune dropped and you telling me how it was an absolute mad tune...and i had to listen to it. if you cant tell i've been thinking about you. Ive never forgotten you although...i would like too.

I cant tell if...im being stupid or overly friendly, overly invested , or what. I guess im just being stupid...and i deserve a right good kick for it...as you would say. I mess hearing you call me 'cheecky'. I mess our book conversation and how you would say anne rice is a good start but there is so much better out there...i still wonder what that better is...i have yet to find it. how you drink glasse of wine and tell me how you read the ane rice books i was just discovering and boom...we were off on a great conversation. it's maddening you know, how i let you into every prt of my everuday and now that your gone i cant get you out. your memory just is there, and i cant do or say anything. i hate the fact that i have no less than 3 tunes with your voice in them, and i cant even listen to them any more....smh. i miss my friend...yeah i talk to my wife but her opinions are tainted by our relationship and her ever exisiting urge to protect me and my feelings. You..talking to you was like being back on the block and talking with my people...just raw, uncut, unfiltered brutal honesty...with no strings attached. Maybe i ran you back to his arms because i reminded you of what you were missing being alone, and you just couldnt tell me how you felt knowing where i stand, maybe you vanishing like smoke in the wind was because i was to good a friend, but christ we were seperated by no less tha 2000 miles of ocean. well I hope it was worth it, i hope he is treating you good and hasnt beaten you anymore...hopefully your not being abused and mistreated. im hoping your in the island with your parents and the girls are well, not ina a hospital healing or worse. i probably wouldnt forgive my self even though its not my place and never will be my place to make you leave. I really do m iss you altough im pretty sure even if we did reconnect, things wouldnt be the same....the trust wouldnt be there. I dont know that i could be friends with you again...you actually hurt me more than any one online should ever be allowed to...lesson learned i guess. I do miss you still, or atleast...the idea of you...of us...of our friendship. you filled a hole that was empty for a very long time...and then you made it even worse. All good things come to an end as they say...i guess we had to end as well. 

So I havent really been around much and yeah i know...it kinda sucks. but i started school and a new job with in 2 weeks of each other, and its been kicking my ass. I am going to school for network administration and i am in training at the job to do processing for home equity lines of credit. No mind you i dont have a mortgage or real estate backround so this is uncharted territory for me and all brand new. that being said, its kinda scary...because i dont know shit...im in this trainign class with people who have been in this industry since they came off their moms tit it seems like, so of course..the self doubt comes in and fighting that...is exhusting. add to that school and trying to focus on some shit that i havent worked on or with in years...and i do mean years ....and well you get what we have now...me mentally exhusted from that, plus dealing with several other issues equals...any one....anyone....no...ok, its ..me not wanting to deal with fubar and the fuckery that is. I have been so tired lately i just watch anime until the anime is watching me( which only takes about30-45 mins...60 on good nights). You know your exhusted when sex is no longer a priority...i Mean seriously folks....this is sex we are talking about here....there ALWAYS time for that. well atleast it used to be, but i digress....

so yeah thats whats sup...hopefully I wont be forgotten about by to many people and those that live and forget me, well it is what it is...but i wanted to share that with y'all in case anyone was wondering "where the fuck did he go?"...which i seriously doubt any was..but still...any who...until next episode...love, peace, and hairgrease....btw....i dont have my braids any more...i cut off all my hair( i had been growing it for like 10 years) byt thats a different story....

Im super happy today, 12 weeks of sacrifice and hard work have beared fruit in the form of 51 lbs lost. So what do we want to talk about, idk. I had a whole agenda of shit to address but you know what...fuck my agenda. I'm just goignto keep it as free as possible. So lets talk about NSFW pics and Red folders...Do i wanna see your T&A...yes, yes i do. Am I will to pay for it...No, No i'm not. Im not that desperate to see them. I appriciate those that share them and i enjoy the female form greatly, but im not gooing to pay you. #SorryNotSorry #NotTodaySatan I dont find it necessary to pay for such things. it's not like Im ever going to get the chance to phsyically enjoy them anyways ( well one day of your lucky...lol, maybe 2) but naw...hard pass on that unless your super exceptional! Please keep in mind...im married...so really...i don't need to..but thats a whole other blog. Which leds me to this...As i've said before, This is not my first rodeo on fu. I was here from before the Orgy lounge was the #1 lounge with Jaze & DJ boobs on air....I have made some great friends and done some wild shit on here. Yes i have "Online Relationships" if you wanna call them that with people who i cared about and have ended up stabbing me right where it hurts. That being said...I am still open to becoming friends...I will always be honest with you and i would expect the same from you. Don't tell me what i want to hear, tell me what I need to hear. Thats why Jlynn and XO are #1 & 2, in my fam! They have always kept it 100% and said to me what i needed to hear even when i didnt want to hear it. They are truely the best friends i have had ever online, my love for them is deep. But i digress, this is not about that...lol. Just because i've been fucked over doesn't mean i won't still be myself. I'm still a good listener and i give almost everyone a chance, but i can see the bullshit a mile a way and i may not call you out on it right away, but when i do....just be sincere. Game peeps game and some of y'all are looking real unfamiliar. Thats why you wont find a lot of dudes (if any) on my page. I keep ALOT of female friends. Thats who i'm comfortable talking to and I protect their interest and secrets with everything i have. I feel like if you share something with my ...thats a special thing. It's a level of trust that is earned and should not be betrayed. So i don't really fuck with alot of dudes on here because this place is 98% Fuckboy. There are some reall genuine dudes on here but the majority are just fucking morons running around trying to cyber pimp anything that comes along. That shit may have been cute back in 2005...but really....2019 and y'all still aint got your shit together ....GTFOH! I have the up most respect for most women, i say most because every now and then...you run into to one that ....just doesn't deserve it. you just dont click with them, and you know what...thats fine. Even in that case we can still be civil. So yeah...if you have a penis...stay far from me 'cause i don't realy play well with other dudes. which brings me to these dudes that wanna be are now are females. I try not to judge people based on what they do when i am not there...if your straight or gay...i will usually not bother you about it because...I am not fucking you or vice versa...so typically I wont care. Now that being said...if your a dude who's hella feminine and flamboyant...we will not get along and again...thats fine....i leave you alone and as long as you do the same we good. My problem is transgendered, or crossed dressing men, who pose as women and some of yall pull that shit off with extreme skill & don't say anything!  LIKE REALLY!!!!...WTF....people get beat down for that kinda shit. LET A BROTHER KNOW  AHEAD OF TIME and don't posing like you 100% female when you were born with a bigger dick than me! Not fucking cool (posing as a female or having a bigger dick...not fucking cool....lol). Seriously though, if you are transgendered and looking to be my friend, have the common decency to at least say so up front so i can then make the choice to accept you for you or be "small minded" as they say and not be bothered. See i don't get offended or uncorfortable around gays and transgendered, if they find me attractive...it's flaterring, but don't take away or try to take away my right to decide if i want to befriend you or not by decieving me (can you tell this has happened before...), and if...IF by some miracle of God i decide to allow you to befriend me....for the love of baby jesus and all the other baby dieties in creation.....don't fuck it up by hitting on me. especially if you know( AND BELIEVE ME YOU WILL KNOW) that i'm straight and not into that kind freaky shyt. That's just hella disrespectful all the way around. Don't try to convince me to try it, i don't care if it's the best orgasm in all of recorded history, i appriciate your concern for my sexual well being, but trust me...I'm not missing out on anything...at all. I've gotten into fights, actually physical....drop a motherfucker where he standsin 1 punch fights because of that kinda of disrespect. Here, I will just block your ass and forget you exist. 

Sorry...that took a little longer than i thought....***go back to my happy place....back to my happy place***. 

Any ways....thats what was on my mind...so untill next episode...love peace and hairgrease....

Ite so, this is not my forst time here...i've been here before, almost 10 years in total. I am married but i am a huge flirt. I do attach to people easily and i am really friendly, I do what i can for friends and i will go outta of the way to help the ones i love. The ladies in my family especially my #1 I have had the pleasure of knowing for quite some time...between Jlynn and karli....our friendship has spanned i would say over 5 years, So there is a lot of love between us. There isnt anything i wouldnt do for those 2. 

I am learning to play Piano and i like watching anime and reading manga. I am also into music production. I am horrible with small talk although i am a good listener. Im probablly the realest , most honest pervert on here ( yes...i am a pervert, but i am also very respectabe and if i dont know you like that....it will always be respectful until we are at that level). I have a sick sense of humor and i am a bit twisted. My past is my past and i can be very petty and vindictive, that being said...I dont judge people on their past but by their present actions...but i also know how to use the block button and forget about your ass, so don't try me. 

You can ask me anything, just be aware that you will more than likely get an answer unless its something i need to think on or bite my toungue  ( which i usually dont). I am a little nerdy...but you have to get to know me to see it....anyway...if you wanna know any thing else...feel free to ask...