lucy68's blog: "what to do"

how do you know when your life is going into a downward spiral or when it maybe going in the right direction? do you hold on to a hope? do you hold on to a feeling? do you just give up because your unsure? you would think after a lifetime of endless romances and hopes and dreams that were crushed that you would be able to know what to do..... but alas im still as lost as i was at 15 years old..... i want the dream, the fantasy, that someone i adore would finally get me. that i have finally made the "right choice" in my life..... but as much as i want to believe that i know that it is probally not true.... i need to be able to decide and know the difference between knowing and hoping dreaming and reality..... maybe it is just an illusion that something wonderful is going to happen to me, for me..... not what someone needs from me or what i can do for them but because im am thier world and everything they could of ever hoped for... is there such a thing in life or is it all just a selfish game you dont know that you have lost until it hurts.....