fred's blog: "What's Up Dude"

Some advert eh ? PS.....No offense please.....

Who would ever miss ?

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that. 2. Ahhhh, it's cute. 3. Why don't we just cuddle? 4. You know they have surgery to fix that. 5. Make it dance. 6. Can I paint a smiley face on it? 7. Wow, and your feet are so big. 8. It's OK, we'll work around it. 9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it? 10. Oh no... a flash headache. 11. (giggle and point) 12. Can I be honest with you? 13. How sweet, you brought incense. 14. This explains your car. 15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow. 16. Why is God punishing me? 17. At least this won't take long. 18. I never saw one like that before. 19. But it still works, right? 20. It looks so unused. 21. Maybe it looks better in natural light. 22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes? 23. Are you cold? 24. If you get me real drunk first. 25. Is that an optical illusion? 26. What is that? 27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents. 28. Does it come with an air pump? 29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality. 30. I guess this makes me the ‘early bird'.

A young couple were driving home one night. As they came around a curve, they ran over a mother skunk. The woman saw a baby skunk crying on the side of the road and demanded her boyfriend stop. Taking the baby home, it started shivering. The woman said, "It's cold. What do I do?" The man replied, "Put it down between your legs and warm it up." The lady then asked, "What about the smell?" The man replied, "I guess just hold its little nose!"

40-ish.......................49. Adventurous..................Slept with everyone. Athletic.....................No breasts. Average looking..............Moooo. Beautiful....................Pathological liar. Emotionally Secure...........On medication. Feminist.....................Fat. Friendship first.............Former Slut. New-Age........... .........hair in wrong places. Old-fashioned................No B.J.'s Open-minded..................Desperate. Outgoing.....................Loud n embarrassing. Voluptuous...................Very fat. Large frame..................Hugely fat. Wants soul mate..............Stalker. No offense....... Happened to copy it from another source and they do get you to think.... Are these true ? Any advise......would be welcome.....

Much to the surprise and delight of their coworkers, two women's conversation about "self improvement" becomes very touchy-feely. Funny, yet so typical of women the way they relate to one another. Well...only fuels male fantasies !

Business meetings have never been this much of a turn-on. For one woman anyway, who feels the need to, errr, relieve some tension. This boardroom is anything but boring. Now who'd like to shake her hand ? Bottomline... Likey likey - more of stacey please -

A blonde and a lawyer sit next to each other on a plane. The lawyer asks her to play a game. If he asked her a question that she didn't know the answer to it, she would have to pay him five dollars. And every time the blonde asked the lawyer a question that he didn't know the answer to it, the lawyer would have to pay the blonde 20 dollars. So the lawyer asked the blonde his first question, "What is the distance between the Moon and its nearest star?" Without a word the blonde pays the lawyer five dollars. The blonde then asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with four legs and down a hill with three?" The lawyer thinks about it, but finally gives up and pays the blonde 20 dollars. Then the lawyer asked her what the answer was and without a word the blonde gave the lawyer five dollars.

Two managers are heatedly discussing on how to lay off one of their two assistants, Jack or Jane. They go back and forth but can't decide who to lay off. Finally, one manager decides that they lay off the first person who gets up from their desk. In the meantime, Jane is hard at work but suddenly gets a headache. She gets some aspirin from her desk drawer and gets up from her desk to get some water. As agreed, one of the managers gets up to break the bad news to Jane. Jane, I need to talk to you. I've got a problem. I either need to lay you or Jack off..." Jane responds..... Well..... Jack off ! I've got a headache. Bottomline... remember, it is never easy to lay one, better jackin off !!!