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The Female Prostate, Female Ejaculation, and
The G-Spot
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Female Ejaculation
From the book A New View of a Woman's Body
Copyright 1981, The Federation of Feminist Women's Health Centers
Illustrated By: Suzann Gage, L Ac, RNC, NP
Female Body Fluids
Before discussing female ejaculation I will first address female body fluids in general. Our society, as well as most others, views all form of liquid that are produced by the female body with great disdain. Women are not permitted to engage in any activity that would expose others to their body fluids, and they are viewed as less than feminine and desirable if they do. Female body fluids are considered harmful by many and there are societies in which menstruating women are thought to cause crops to fail and livestock to die. This creates a significant barrier to sexual pleasure for women, as female body fluids are a normal and necessary part of sex.
Women are expected to maintain a dry pristine appearance regardless of the activities they participate in. Mothers once told their daughters it was unwise to engage in sports, as boys would see them sweaty and disheveled, and this was seen as unattractive. Today, deodorant and antiperspirant ads drive home the idea, "Do not let them see you sweat." Women are told they need special stronger deodorants made specially for them. Tampon and sanitary napkin advertising often emphasizes the product's ability to conceal a woman's menstruation from others more than their primary task of absorbing menses; yet in the process they remind us that women do menstruate. Most women would prefer to have their fingernails ripped out one by one rather than be seen having an "accident," menstruating in public. Society and the media serve to create a barrier between women and their sexual pleasure.
Sweaty men are seen as sexual, virile. Their manhood is measured by their ability to produce large quantities of semen. They write their name in the snow with their urine and see who can ejaculate the furthest. For men making a mess with their ejaculate is seen as unavoidable, normal, and is never questioned. It is even idolized in adult movies. Men can ejaculate on the face, in the mouth, and on and in the body of their partner and it is seen as normal and desirable. If a woman gets her body fluids on her partner that is another story, she has made a dirty mess. This is an interesting double standard. If a man can cover his partner with his body fluids a woman should be able to do the same.
Female sexuality is marred by these unwritten laws. Many women produce relatively large amounts of body fluids during sex. Especially if they are highly aroused for an extended period of time and/or experience female ejaculation. It is hard to relax and enjoy sex if you are worried about sweating heavily or producing too much vaginal lubrication. Since women have no control over the release of these body fluids some avoid sex all together rather than risk being seen as less than feminine by their partner.
Before a woman can learn to ejaculate, enjoy ejaculating, and enjoy sex in general she must accept all her bodily fluids as normal. She must not question the nature or quantity of her wetness, be it sweat, vaginal lubrication, menses, ejaculate, or liquid from her bladder. These fluids are a normal and natural part of women's lives. There is nothing that is inherently bad or harmful about them. A woman cannot allow herself to ejaculate and experience potentially earth-shattering orgasms if she cannot let go when the pressure or urge to ejaculate arises. Ladies, give yourself permission to get wet and messy. Give yourself permission to have fun and enjoy sex.
As a result of the taboos concerning female body fluids the main motivation behind the studies into female ejaculation appears to be the determination of whether or not the expelled fluid is from the bladder. Some believe that if a woman ejaculates a liquid that is not from her bladder she is normal, but if is from her bladder then she has a medical problem and is abnormal. Why the great debate over the exact nature of this fluid squirting from women's bodies? Does it really matter whether it is liquid from the bladder or ejaculate? If a woman gets a thrill out of squirting liquid from her bladder at the moment of orgasm are we to say she has a problem? Do we mean to take this pleasure away from her? If a woman squirts liquid from her bladder at the moment of orgasm, let her, if she ejaculates uncontrollably, so be it. It is not our place to judge a woman's sexual pleasure.
The Female Prostate
During early fetal development both male and female fetuses start out being physically female. This does not change until a male fetus begins to produce its own hormones around the eighth week of gestation. Only then does the physical development of the male and female bodies diverge, and then less than many may presume. This necessitates that female fetuses initially have structures that could develop into either "male" or "female" reproductive and sexual organs. This means the tissue that develops into the male prostate gland, the urogenital sinus, must also be present in women. This results in woman having a prostate gland too.
The top image is a close-up of the individual glands that make up the female prostate. The female prostate, urethra, and vagina are actually part of a solid structure, as indicated in the illustration shown below. The female prostate is shown this way to help you identify its location. The bottom image allows you to more clearly see the location of the female prostate within the body.
The first person known to have described the “female prostate” in Western medical literature was Reinier De Graaf (1641-1673) in the year 1672. He described it as a collection of functional glands and ducts surrounding the female urethra. He said the glands and ducts produced a “pituitoserous juice;” meaning it produces a thick mucous that is pale yellow or transparent in color. He said the function of this fluid was to make “women more libidinous with its pungency and saltiness and lubricates their sexual parts in agreeable fashion during coitus.“ Despite his observation modern Western medicine did not fully accept the concept of a “female prostate” until 2001 when the Federative Committee on Anatomical Terminology agreed to use this term in their next edition of Histology Terminology.
Where did the female prostate disappear to for 329 years? Prior to the 20th century the term “female prostate” was commonly used within medical research literature but during the 20th century the female prostate was usually described as vestigial, i.e. not fully developed and non-functional, and was identified as either paraurethral or Skene’s glands. While the components of the female prostate were known to exist they were not seen as structures of interest or importance; with a few exceptions. Since modern medicine did not see the female prostate playing an active and necessary role in reproduction it wasn’t essential to understand its function. The female prostate is not believed to be affected by disease on a frequent basis and this likely contributed to the lack of interest within doctor offices and hospitals. When the female prostate became a medical concern by becoming enlarged or causing discomfort during urination or intercourse it was called female urethral diverticulum or female prostatitis. I wonder how many urinary tract infections (UTIs) have been incorrectly diagnosed and treated?
The male prostate is an distinct organ that surrounds the male urethra but the female prostate lies within the wall and along the length of the female urethra, as indicated in the illustrations shown above and below. It is part of and contained within the wall of the urethra, and the urethra is contained within the wall of the vagina. The average size of the female prostate is 1.3 inches long, 0.75 inches wide, 0.4 inches in height (3.3 x 1.9 x 1 cm), and weighs about 0.2 ounces (5.2 grams). Which means it is a relatively small organ about the size of a woman's thumb. Despite its smaller size “it possesses all the structural components of the male prostate.”
The image shown below demonstrates how the female urethra and vagina are contained within a common structure, as indicated by the circular outline that surrounds them. Anatomy illustrations usually lead us to believe they are two separate and distinct organs, which isn't true. They are drawn this way for the sake of visual clarity, but this can be misleading. This image helps us to understand why the female prostate is stimulated when the vaginal wall is stimulated, and why some women are susceptible to urinary tract infections (UTIs) after engaging in vagina intercourse. It also demonstrates how the the vagina is a potential space rather than being an open cavity within the body.
Click on Image to See it Full Size
From: The Female Prostate: history, functional morphology
and sexology implications. by M. Zaviacic et. al. 2000
The female prostate comes in many different shapes and sizes but the majority of women have a prostate that is positioned near the external urethral orifice, as shown above and below. When having this shape and placement it may cause the top wall of the vagina to project into the vaginal passage and the urethral meatus to project outward into the vestibule. When this occurs, you may not be able to see the actual glands of the prostate but you can see their affect on the surround tissues. In some women these projections are quite distinguished and noticeable, and increase during sexual arousal.
Click on Image to See it Full Size
From the book Eve's Secrets By Josephine Lowndes Sevely.
Copyright 1987 Josephine Lowndes Sevely
What Does the Female Prostate Do?
We know little about the function of the female prostate and its role within the body. At present it is known to have two primary functions. The first is produce and store prostatic fluid in ducts, which is the function of an exocrine gland. The prostatic fluid contains prostate-specific antigen (PSA), prostate-specific acid phosphatase (PSAP or PAP), and fructose, a sugar. The numerous ducts of the prostate drain into the urethra. "Pure prostatic fluid has not yet been isolated and it has been studied only as a component of the female ejaculate..." The second function is the releasing of hormones into the blood stream, as a result of stimulation by the nervous system; a process performed by neuroendocrine cells. The only hormone known to be produced by the female prostate in this way, as of the year 2000, was serotonin. Serotonin plays an active role in many functions of the body. The female prostate is thought to be influenced by estrogens, as the male prostate is influenced by androgens, but I am aware that the male prostate is also influenced by DHEA, a precusor to both estrogens and androgens. PAP has been found on the underwear of women when it has been in constant contact with the vulva indicating the prostate is always producing prostatic fluid, and this fluid production begins with the onset of puberty. At this point, we simply need to acknowledge the existence of this organ and that it plays a role in the normal functioning of the female body; it isn't a figment of any one's imagination.
What is Female Ejaculate?
Female ejaculate is a fluid that is expelled from the body through the urethra during sexual activities. When released in small quantities it may be a mucous like fluid having a clear, milky, or yellowish coloration. As the volume of the expelled fluid increases it becomes like clear water. In small quantities it may have a distinct scent that is musky or pungent but when the fluid increases in volume and becomes clear there is no longer a detectable scent. The fluid contains PSA and PAP, which are produced in the female prostate. Some of the components found in it, urea and creatinine, are also found in urine, but in much lower concentrations than are found in regular urine. When female prostatic fluids are found in urine they are in much smaller concentrations than in present in female ejaculate. The fluid released during ejaculation and urination are not the same though they may share some of the same substances. As the volume and appearance of female ejaculate changes it is likely that its composition changes too.
Women who expel fluid during orgasm report the color, smell, consistency, and even taste, varies from one occurrence to the next. (It is safe for a person to taste their own ejaculate, and for couples who already exchange body fluids but not for couples needing to practice safe sex.) Some have found their menstrual cycle influences the type of fluid expelled. What you eat is likely to have an affect on it, as will how much liquid you have consumed. Some women report it is sometimes clear and odorless and other times thick and pungent. Others report it sometimes looks and smells like urine, which I have found to be true only when a woman tries too hard to ejaculate. It is safe to say most women's ejaculate will vary over time and during a single sexual episode.
Do All Women Ejaculate?
Given that all women have a prostate gland they all likely produce ejaculate even if they are not aware of it. The fluid may seep out and mix unnoticed with other body fluids rather than being a distinctive gush of liquid during sexual activity. The prostate probably contributes regularly to the moisture present at the vulva, as indicated by the presence of PAP on their underwear. In the absence of or in conjunction with sexual arousal the prostate may overflow causing the fluid to seep out through the urethra. This release of fluid could be caused by the blood engorgement of the surrounding tissues and the pressures placed on the vaginal wall during sexual arousal and internal stimulation. The fluid in the prostate would likely be released or expelled during orgasm when the pelvic muscles contract. While the volume of ejaculate released may vary from woman to woman it is likely present in all women and they do not have voluntary control over it.
Where Does Ejaculate Come From?
Very little medical research has addressed the source or sources of female ejaculate. The research that has been completed often provides conflicting results. Some research concludes it is only fluid from the female prostate while other research says it is mostly liquid from the bladder with trace amounts of fluid from the female prostate. It is my believe that in some cases all of the fluid emitted from a woman's urethra is from the female prostate, in other cases is a mixture of fluid from the female prostate and bladder, and in other cases it is only from the bladder. We simply do not know where the fluid originates from in every instance.
How can you tell if a woman is releasing fluid from her bladder or prostate? This is a question that cannot be answered outside a medical lab. There is no accurate way of determining whether a woman is voluntarily or involuntarily releasing liquid from her bladder or ejaculating prostatic fluid. These fluids all exit the body through the urethra so the visible source is the same for them all. I'm not aware of any color, taste, or scent test that can be applied to the expelled liquid that will accurately distinguish them from one another. We are left with no other choice than to see them as indistinguishable, the same.
In her book The Clitoral Truth Rebecca Chalker states a simple smell test will tell you if it is urine or ejaculate. If the fluid has an acrid scent it is urine. This may be true but what difference does or should it make? My concern is that if a woman or her partner decides she is releasing liquid from her bladder then they may see it as undesirable and/or inappropriate. My position is, it does not matter what type of fluid is expelled, and being concerned about it creates a barrier to pleasure for women. It is okay to be curious about these fluids, that is only natural, but it is inappropriate to judge them.
If you read the information presented on the website of Dr. Gary Schubach he states his research has shown the majority of the fluid that is expelled originates in the bladder, but the expelled fluid is not quite normal urine. In his research the woman’s bladder was emptied using a catheter prior to orgasm. During orgasm a catheter was in place and connected to a collection bag. Analysis of the fluid expelled during orgasm is the basis for his claim. There is one flaw with his methodology, the bladder sphincter is normally closed. If it were not, liquid in the bladder would simply flow out and there would be no "ejaculation" of fluid. What is the significance of creating an artificial passage and collecting the fluid expelled from the bladder during pelvic muscles contractions? During orgasm does this passage normally exist even if only momentarily? Some claim otherwise or that ejaculate actually enters the bladder rather than exiting from it. Even if fluid does collect in the bladder during sexual arousal would it normally be expelled during orgasm? Are all women the same or are there "normal variations?" Dr. Schubach's research is important but it provides only part of the picture.
The following series of images show how much the bladder, the bright white area in the lower right, increased in size during sexual arousal in one woman. Does it provide evidence to indicate the origin of female ejaculate in some instances? I know from personal experience that when my kidneys produce increased volumes of fluid it is clear and odorless when released from my bladder. Does sexual arousal in some women result in increased kidney output? These images were taken during research into the use of MRI to observe female sexual arousal and were not intended to provide evidence of the origins of female ejaculate.
Image from: "Magnetic resonance imaging of male and female genitals during coitus and female sexual arousal" by Willibrord Weijmar Schultz, Pek van Andel, Ida Sabelis, Eduard Mooyaart. BMJ volume 319 18-25 December 1999. www.bmj.com
How Much Liquid is Released?
The amount of fluid released during ejaculation is reported to vary from a couple drops to almost two cups, 15 ounces [444 ml]. Two cups is a lot of liquid, can it really be that much? The average size of the female prostate is 1.3 inches long 0.75 inches wide 0.4 inches in height (3.3 x 1.9 x 1 cm). An elliptical container about this size when filled with water would hold 0.17 oz [5 ml] or 1 teaspoon. A cylindrical shape 0.75 inches across would hold 0.32 oz. If the female prostate can contain less than 0.4 oz where does the other 14.6 ounces come from? One study found women produced 30 to 50 ml [1 to 1.7 oz] [6 to 10 teaspoons] in 30 to 50 seconds. Okay, but 2 ounces is still a far cry from 15 ounces. Some believe the female prostate swells with fluid during sexual arousal, which would account for the greater volume of fluid. The prostate would need to increase in size by a factor of at least 9 if this is to be true. Interestingly enough the female bladder can hold about 16 ounces of fluid, and this is surprising close to the maximum amount of ejaculate reported.
Keep in mind the female prostate will continue to produce fluid for as long as a woman is sexually aroused, and as result a woman could produce more than 0.2 to 2.0 oz of ejaculate if multiple releases of fluid occurs. If the female prostate fills and empties at a rapid rate that would explain the larger volumes of fluid measured by some investigators. It would also mean the longer a woman's orgasm lasted the more she would ejaculate, as is often the case. If this is all true it is possible for a woman to ejaculate a considerable amount of fluid without it being liquid from the bladder. Obviously more research needs to be done to clarify this; perhaps using transvaginal ultrasound to observe the prostate during sexual arousal and orgasm.
What Is and Who Has a G-Spot?
The female prostate and the "Grafenberg spot" or "G-Spot" ARE NOT necessarily the same thing, or in the same location. And you thought all your worries would be over once you located the prostate gland. Some say the G-Spot is an area of high sensitivity located within the female prostate or is located further back along the urethra, closer to the bladder. The problem with any definition is the sensitivity of the G-Spot is unlikely to be constant. If a woman is not sexually aroused she may not have a G-Spot. If the same woman is highly aroused and her prostate gland is engorged with prostatic fluid she may have a very distinct G-Spot. There are perhaps women who are not aware of a G-Spot even though they ejaculate and experience a more intense orgasm when their prostate is stimulated. It is for these reasons that it is important for the reader not to form a concrete definition of what a G-Spot is. Each woman will create her own definition, one valid only for her.
The next question for debate concerns whether or not "all" women have a G-Spot or G-crest. This is not really a valid question, as the G-Spot indicates the "sensitivity" of a non-specific area of tissue. The "G-Crest" defines the swollen "condition" of the female prostate during sexual arousal. At present there are no anatomical structure clearly associated with the "G-Spot." This is in part why people have trouble finding it. What one needs to look for are the female prostate and urethra. All women have these and it is likely they all produce at least a small amount of prostatic fluid that seeps out and mixes with the other fluids that are present in much larger quantities.
How Do You Locate the
Female Prostate?
How does one locate the female prostate? Quite simply, you locate the urethra, as the female prostate is located within the wall of the urethra. The urethral meatus, or orifice, is located directly above the vaginal opening, below the clitoris. You can see it with your bare eyes, though it can be hard to locate in some women. The urethra extends back from the urethral meatus into the body along the front or upper wall of the vagina for 1.5 to 2 inches [3.8 to 5 cm]. While you can see the urethral orifice you cannot see the female prostate gland, though it may bulge visibly out into the vestibule and/or vagina. Using a speculum you might be able to see the swollen prostate gland projecting into the vagina. The video How to Female Ejaculate and others shows this projection. Adventures individuals may want to slip a finger or two into their own or their partner's vagina while they urinate so they can feel the urine passing through the urethra. This will help you locate its exact position. Once you have located the urethra you have a basis for seeking out a possible area along it that is highly sensitive to stimulation, a G-Spot.
In her book Female Ejaculation & The G-Spot Deborah Sundahl presents information about the anatomy and location of the female prostate gland gathered by Dr. Zaviacic and published in 1999. He found 70% of women have a ramp-shaped prostate gland where the thickest part is situated near the urethral opening, 15% have a ramp-shaped prostate where the thickest part is located near the bladder, 7% have a prostate gland that is thickest near the middle of the urethra, and 8% of women have a "rudimentary prostate" that has few ducts and glands. This means one must explore the full length of the urethra, 1.5-2 inches (3.8-5 cm) along the upper wall of the vagina, when attempting to locate the G-Spot. This research also indicates more than 90% of women have a well defined prostate gland, even if they cannot locate it or do not ejaculate.
The Importance of
Clitoral Stimulation!
The clitoris probably holds the key to female ejaculation for most women. If the clitoris is not stimulated a woman is less likely to become highly aroused. If she is not highly aroused her prostate may not fill with increased amounts of fluid. If her prostate is not swollen she may not have a G-Spot. If her clitoris is not stimulated she is less likely to experience orgasm and the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic muscles that expel and release the ejaculate. So quite simply before you can go exploring for the G-Spot you must master clitoral stimulation beforehand. There are women who are orgasmic and ejaculate when their G-Spot or vagina alone is stimulated but the majority need direct clitoral stimulation if they are to experience orgasm.
What Do You Stimulate the
Female Prostate With?
Now that you know the location of the female prostate you will want to know how to stimulate it. The most versatile tools to use are your fingers. They are firm but flexible and have feeling and provide feedback. For solo explorers fingers have their limitations, as they may not be long enough and can tire relatively quickly. Plus, if one hand is stimulating your clitoris it limits access to your vagina with your other hand. So in addition to fingers, dildos and/or vibrators are usually required for finding and stimulating the G-Spot. (I will refer to both vibrators and dildos as dildos for the sake of convenience) Notice I used the plural 'dildos' not the singular 'dildo', as there is a chance you may have to try several different dildos to find the best one for you.
Choosing a Dildo
How do you pick out a dildo for G-Spot stimulation? Trial and error. The dildos that do have a good success rate are those that are curved near the tip, called G-Spot stimulators, and penis shaped dildos with a prominent ridge at the junction of the glans and shaft. Many women find hard plastic or glass dildos work best. Others find that makeshift dildos work great; such things as cucumbers, brush handles, mirror handles, etc. Some prefer a slim dildo that they direct at a specific area within their vagina but others prefer their vagina to be filled and stretched to the maximum by a large dildo. If you are going to buy a dildo to use for G-Spot stimulation be prepared to buy and try a couple different styles. Any woman who is seriously considering using dildos needs to be aware that she will most likely have a collection of favorites versus one special one. As a woman's mood and needs change so will her dildo needs. While women often start out with one many soon find they have a drawer full of them. Some women prize their collections.
To Pee or Not to Pee
Since the physical act of female urination is so similar to female ejaculation many women have found erotic enjoyment in urinating during sex, solo and with a partner. Women seeking to learn to ejaculate may find themselves squirting liquid from their bladder rather ejaculating fluid from their prostate. This is because both urination and ejaculation require a woman to be able to surrender control and relax during orgasm. If you keep your bladder sphincter closed and tighten your pelvic muscles you cannot release liquid from your bladder or ejaculate. Women seeking to ejaculate are advised to push out when the urge to urinate or ejaculate comes over them at the point of orgasm. Doing this gives your body permission to ejaculate, but it also gives your body permission to release fluid from your bladder. You have no control over which occurs. You will just be aware of the intense physical sensations that occur. The sensations of both may be pleasant and indistinguishable. Hence learning to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm may help a woman learn to ejaculate.
Learning to release liquid from your bladder at the point of orgasm is likely to be easier when alone than when a partner is present. You will probably find it easier to relax, and you wont be as concerned about the resulting wetness. Doing this in the bathtub has some advantages. First you do not have to worry about the wetness, second soaking in warm water will help relax you, and third cleanup is a snap. Drink a couple glasses of water a short while before starting; allow your bladder to fill. It does not need to feel full, but you do not want it to be empty either. Lie back in the tub, or lay on several towels on your bed. Start to masturbate. Caress your clitoris. Slipping your fingers or a dildo into your vagina may feel nice. You do not need to necessarily move them back and forth inside your vagina only provide a feeling of pressure inside your vagina. Allow the sexual buildup to occur slowly. Practice tightening and relaxing your pelvic muscles, commonly called Kegel exercises.
Think about the act of urinating, of letting go. Allowing your bladder to fill will result in you feeling the need to urinate. The closer you are to the point of orgasm the stronger the urge to empty your bladder is likely to become. Hold back on your orgasm until you feel you cannot hold the contents of your bladder a second longer. At the point of orgasm press out and relax your pelvic muscles, welcome the feeling of the liquid escaping from your bladder. The stronger the force behind the liquid, the greater the sensations are likely to be. So push and try to squirt liquid from your bladder. It takes practice to be able to let go spontaneously, since you have been conditioned to maintain strict control over your urination habits. It may also help to vocalize the release, make some noise. Intentionally crying out will help with the release. Scream "YES."
Learning to Ejaculate
Moving on to ejaculation only requires a couple slight changes in technique. Empty your bladder first; you will want to let go without a full bladder producing the pressure or urge. The urge should still develop, just not be the result of a full bladder. The urge to ejaculate may not occur without there being stimulation of your prostate or urethra. This is likely to require the use of a dildo if you are alone. As you massage your clitoris, using your fingers or a dildo stimulate your urethra by massaging the top of your vagina; using only light pressure at first. Massage the full length of your urethra, from the opening of your vagina back into your vagina a couple inches. Keep up the clitoral massage. Try different pressures and strokes. Massaging the urethral meatus may feel pleasant. Stimulating your urethra may cause you to feel the need to release liquid from your bladder and this is desired. Do not fight the urge, go with the flow, literally. Relax and breathe deeply.
If you find a spot that is highly sensitive you may want to concentrate solely on it, but you may find it is too sensitive to stimulate directly. If your G-Spot is highly sensitive you may find you are only able to tolerate its stimulation when you are very close to orgasm, when your pain threshold has increased. Keep massaging your clitoris and urethra. Continue to the point of orgasm. A slow build up with lots of teasing may help produce the greatest urge and strongest orgasm. When orgasm occurs relax your bladder and press out as if urinating. If you ejaculate you will likely feel a new and strong sensation, if not, you will still experience a strong orgasm, so nothing is lost. You may not be aware of any increased wetness until after the orgasm has subsided. Being able to ejaculate may take practice even if you are able to squirt liquid from your bladder during orgasm. It is not known whether all women can ejaculate so you just have to experiment. In any event it should be a pleasurable experience.
Stimulation by a Partner
A woman's partner can bring her to an orgasm that includes ejaculation. If a woman already knows she is capable of ejaculating she should let her partner know, not pray that it will not happen again. She should discuss the increased wetness that occurs with her partner; at least prepare them for it. Hopefully they will see your ejaculations as desirable and erotic. If they do not, reeducating them about female fluids and ejaculation may persuade them to at least accept the ejaculations as normal even if they do not like the associated wetness.
There is perhaps one big advantage to having a partner stimulate you to orgasm when you are trying to ejaculate, that is because they will not stop the stimulation unless you tell them too. If you are masturbating and you start to feel uncomfortable, out of control, you will likely stop immediately. This could prevent you from experiencing orgasm and ejaculation. With a partner you can agree beforehand that they will not stop, even if you say, "stop." (Doing this requires using a "safe word" that indicates, "Stop!" for real. This is a word you are not likely to say accidentally during sex, without thinking about it.) If you find you pull away you can ask that they hold or follow you so you cannot move away from the stimulation. Of course you should only do these things if you really trust your partner, as they need to be forceful without going to far.
How do you stimulate your partner's prostate? Your hands are excellent tools to use. The best way to stimulate the inside of their vagina, along the upper wall, is to create a hook with your index finger. Imagine you want to signal to someone standing across the room that you want them to come toward you. You turn your hand palm up and signal with your index finger by making a hook, curling it up and straightening it repeatedly. You can do the same thing with two fingers inside the vagina. Massaging the upper wall of the vagina, from the opening back inside two inches. Start out with a very light touch. Press your fingers up and toward the front, pointing toward the pubic bone, or clitoris. Use the urethral opening as a guide. Use a generous amount of lubrication even if she is dripping wet.
Start out by getting her aroused with manual and/or oral clitoral stimulation. Continue the clitoral stimulation as you massage her prostate. Ask your partner if there is a specific spot or area that produces intense or enjoyable sensations when you massage it, her G-Spot. As you sense her getting closer to orgasm apply a firmer touch, if she enjoys it. Maintain a constant and steady rhythm. Follow through, continue the massage up through her orgasm. Then switch to a very light caressing touch as she comes down from her orgasm. If she experiences multiple orgasms her orgasms and ejaculations may become more intense, and the amount of ejaculation may increase. If she orgasms with your fingers inside her vagina her vaginal muscles may squeeze them very tightly, do not pull out but rather press in gently.
You can also stimulate your partner to ejaculation using a dildo. This requires more verbal communication, as you cannot feel exactly what the dildo is doing. She needs to let you know what feels good, or bad. Some women may like for the tip of the dildo to be pointed at their urethra, others may prefer a full feeling. The stretching and pressure created by large dildos or an entire hand may stimulate the urethra enough to cause an ejaculation even if that is not the intent.
A woman may also ejaculate during intercourse, with a penis or a dildo in a harness. What seems to work the best are positions that result in the penis or dildo stimulating the upper wall of the vagina. Like when a woman's partner kneels between her knees when she is on her hands and knees, or when she is on top controlling the direction and force of the thrusting. Some women may ejaculate during intercourse without even trying, while others may find it a challenge. It is more likely if she already ejaculates frequently during manual massage. Practice makes perfect.
Some Health Concerns
Unfortunately, there can be some possible negative side effects associated with massaging the urethra. The urethra is highly sensitive and is easily irritated. Even normal intercourse can irritate a woman's urethra resulting in painful urination and infection. This is especially true of virgins and women with tense pelvic muscles, as they are too tight and there is too much friction between their vagina and the thrusting penis or dildo. Intentionally stimulating the urethra increases the chances of there being irritation and infection. To help prevent infections and reduce the chances of irritation a woman should drink lots of water and urinate just before and right after urethral stimulation, or sex in general if you are prone to urinary tract infections. Just release a little bit of liquid from your bladder before sex if you are trying things with a full bladder. They also recommend women drink cranberry juice, or take a cranberry supplement available at health food stores, as its acidic level helps to ward off the bacteria that cause infections. If you experience irritation, painful urination, or infection, try using less pressure when massaging or stimulating the urethra. The urethra may become accustomed to the stimulation with time, but do not torture yourself or inflict multiple infections. Have fun but do not hurt yourself.
Addressing the Wetness
If you ejaculate there may be a small amount of liquid expelled or there could be a lot. If you are intentionally squirting liquid from your bladder or ejaculate repeatedly there may be a liquid everywhere. Since you usually sleep where you have sex female ejaculation can present a logistical problem. If you only ejaculate a small amount simply keeping a couple towels near the bed may be the solution. If you gush then towels may not be enough. Having a plastic cover on the mattress and extra sheets may do the trick, though changing the sheets and cleaning up afterwards may not be the way you want to relax after sex. You can buy the disposable bed pads hospitals use, as they are absorbent and have a plastic backing. They are sometimes sold with incontinence supplies at your local store too. We sell in our store reusable cotton bed pads that remove the inconvenience associated with body fluids and sex. You can try having sex in the tub or shower or having a second bed or an air mattress to have sex on. For women who ejaculate every time, regardless of whether they want too, cleanup can be bothersome at times, and does take some getting use too. Just try to keep a positive attitude and be prepared with extra towels and sheets. A supportive partner always helps.
Real or Faked?
I hate to be the barer of bad news but chances are the women seen ejaculating in mainstream adult movies are likely releasing liquid from their bladder rather than ejaculating. They fake their ejaculations just as they fake their orgasms. They are intentionally squirting liquid from their bladder to simulate orgasm and true female ejaculation, or rapidly expelling liquid they place inside their vagina. The proof of this is the shear volume and/or the white color of the liquid they expel. Enjoy mainstream ejaculation videos but keep in the back of your mind that it is all fantasy.
The main source for the information presented above is the article The Female Prostate: History, Functional Morphology and Sexology Implications. By Zaviacic M., Zaviacic T. Ablin R.J., Breza J., Holoman K. The full article in PDF format can be found here. The article is presented in English beginning on page 7.
From the May 2000 issue of Self magazine.
Women ejaculate, too
There's more than one way to make a wet spot - in fact, there's a whole camp of doctors who believe that all women ejaculate when they have an orgasm. In one study from Florida State University in Tallahassee, 82 percent of women said they experienced a release of fluid at the moment of orgasm. Haven't noticed this yourself? "Since most women are lying on their backs during sex and the amount of fluid is so small [about a teaspoon], it sometimes doesn't come out," explains Beverly Whipple, professor at Rutgers University and president of the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists. "But research has demonstrated that all women ejaculate a substance through the urethra that is not urine."”
