I sit here trying to play everything out in my head as far as what to do about all my decisions that I have made,the mess up's and the people that I have chosen to fall for. Lord knows that I have made alot of mistakes and have made alot of bad judgements. I try my hardest to make everybody happy and go out of my way to make u happy and I always seem to fail, I am starting to wonder what the point is of trying anymore. I try to be happy, joyful and make good choices and like always that seems to fail also. I wake up everyday with every intention that I am going to make the right choices and be the best person that I can be, but when things dont go right it seems like I am a horrible person and that I am just a f*ck up cause I let u and everybody else down. I hate feeling like I am torn between 4 different people and all of them wants me to do something different. I try to better my life and better the person that I am and it doesnt seem to work either. I know that if I had somebody by my side who would stand my me no matter what and give me advice when I asked for it, It might not be so bad. I feel like I have let u down and that I have ruined anything and everything that there could have been. I have never felt this low b4 and I hate how it feels. I will go to bed with the intentions of making 2morrow a better day and hopefully find a way to make u happy. If all this is wrong then tell me something....what do u want from me?