SoMe Goddamn One's blog: "NEWS FLASH!"

With the homicidal ferrets back on the loose again Blitzed Out lounge is forced to wait in fear for the next attack. Many of the inhabitants are asking the same questions: How did this all start? When will it end? Can any body save us from this? Is it nakie time yet? We can only answer one. ITS ALWAYS NAKIE TIME! -NEWS FLASH 8:57 AM: I forgot to start todays NEWS FLASH! earlier, but here it is. Just so all you freaks out there can feed your developing addiction! -NEWS FLASH 9:11 AM: Convicted serial killer Snuggles The Bear has escaped from prison. Snuggles was convicted last year for 12 counts of murder. He is said to have suffocated his victims with fabric softener sheets and then "sent em through the wash." Here is an artists sketch of Snuggles The Bear: Please contact local law enforcement if you have any information that may lead to the arrest of Snuggles The Bear. -NEWS FLASH 9:30 AM: Coming soon to a theater near you: WHEN EMUS ATTACK -NEWS FLASH 10:54 AM: With tropical storm Humberto currently slamming into the Louisiana Gulf-Coast, the Blitzed Out Weather Monitering System has predicted a possible (but not probable) drop in the number of some one's. -NEWS FLASH 12:05 PM: Officials say that class has been cancled due to an outbreak of sids. -NEWS FLASH 2:37 PM: I figured I might use this NEWS FLASH! to give all my veiwers a personal hello.So...HELLO! -NEWS FLASH 2:58 PM: And now, with out any further delay, dancing bears: -NEWS FLASH 3:19 PM: WOOOO... WHAT DIED IN HERE?....MAN... THAT COUD LEVEL A BUILDING -NEWS FLASH 3:24 PM: We just had avisit from the creator... no... not God you silly!...REDD! -NEWS FLASH 3:37 PM: Snuggles The Bear has struck again. Three bodies were found floating in a vat of liquid washing-machine soap. Out of respect for the familys of the deceased we are not releasing the names. If you have any information that may lead to the capture of this vicious beast please notify Blitzed Out local police. -NEWS FLASH 4:01 PM: Police feel that Snuggles may have changed his appearance. Here is a new police sketch of what Snuggles may look like: -NEWS FLASH 10:01 PM: This man is wanted for public stupidity. If you know any information that might lead to his arrest please contact Blitzed Out police. -NEWS FLASH 11:13 PM: Sources say police have arrested a bear that they suspect may have been Snuggles' acomplice.