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What are you waiting for?
So lets talk about BDSM…
What is it?
What does it mean?
What does it mean to you?
Wikipedia defines BDSM as:
BDSM is an erotic preference and a form of sexual expression involving the consensual use of restraint, intense sensory stimulation, and fantasy power role-play. The compound acronym BDSM is derived from the terms bondage and discipline (B&D or B/D), dominance and submission (D&S or D/s), and sadism and masochism (S&M or S/M). BDSM includes a wide spectrum of activities, forms of interpersonal relationships, and distinct subcultures.
Activities and relationships within a BDSM context are characterized by the participants usually taking on complementary, but unequal roles, thus the idea of consent of both the partners becomes essential. Typically participants who are active – applying the activity or exercising control over others – are known as tops or dominants. Those participants who are recipients of the activities, or who are controlled by their partners are typically known as bottoms or submissives. Individuals who alternate between top/dominant and bottom/submissive roles — whether from relationship to relationship or within a given relationship — are known as switches.
(taken from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/BDSM)
So is BDSM just about tying up and torturing? No
It’s about the relationship between 2 or more people. Mental, physical and sexual.
Mentally it requires a lot of trust and mutual respect. Just because one partner may enjoy humiliating or demeaning the other(s) does not mean that there isn’t respect. Each BDSM relationship has its own characteristics. But in order to fully understand what makes your partner tick you need to trust them with what makes you tick and build them up to trust you. Most relationships involve a power struggle. Some people are looking to give up the power and others are looking to grab the power! You do have to be careful. There is a difference between being a controlling asshole and a Dom or Master.
Physically does not mean sexually. In a lot of cases they can go hand in hand. Just like with mentally there needs to be a lot of trust. How can you give your body to someone if you don’t trust them? Physically there are a lot of aspects to consider. Pain, pleasure and safety. There is also a fine line with sex. Tieing up a partner, restraining them, inflicting pain by use of floggers, whips, crops, hot wax, and other devices normally has a sexual undertone to it. But its more about bonding and controlling your partners physical spirit. Can physical lead to sexual? Yes! But so can mental. Again you have to be careful there is a difference between being abusive and BDSM.
Sexual…… Most people’s favorite subject. A majority of people look at BDSM as sex! It isn’t. In fact the sexual aspect of BDSM is only a small portion of the relationship! Can you be kinky and not be BDSM? Yes! Sexually BDSM is about the combinations of multiple kinks, fetishes and turn ons in the bedroom. So in order to really understand the sexual aspect of BDSM one must look deep into the darkest parts of your soul and really be honest about what turns you on and excites you. So what does it for you?
Bondage? Roleplay (a sexy schoolgirl always helps me)? Toys? Spanking? Voyerism? Exhibitionism? Blindfolds? Oral? Anal? Lingerie? Heels? Specific names? Dirty talk? Torture? etc????
I am going to post a list from another site I belong to.
This is just a list of the top 100 most popular fetishes on www.Fetlife.com
So again what does it for you? Is it a fetish or just a turn on? Whats the difference? A turn on is just something from time to time that excites you but does not have a huge role in the bedroom. A fetish is more of an everyday desire. Something that you try to incorporate regularly into your life. Some fetishes are desires that you may not ever be able to act on. But the constant desire is there.
Now I do not think I know all about BDSM nor am I trying to say that I am an expert. I AM NOT! I am actually very new but have done a lot of research. This blog is merely my voice on the subject and may differ from yours. The idea is to share knowledge, communicate and learn from each other!
With that being said lets talk!
There are no right or wrong ideas, answers or opinions.
So what does BDSM mean to you?
Where do you fall mentally?
What are your physical traits?
What sexually makes you BDSM?
