DarklyDreamingMe's blog: "watermark"

"These eye's will deceive you. They will destroy you. They will take from you your innocence, your pride, and eventually your soul. these eye's do not see what you and I see. Behind these eye's one finds only blackness, the absence of light. These are the eye's of a psychopath." -Dr. Samuel Loomis

Inspired by the insipid. For random and totally unobtrusive reasonz that pertain to no one but the little imprecionistic people in my head that resemble no one other than YOU I write thiz monotone montage of banality (really i just like using uncommon wordz that you just dont hear often enough any more) What iz it about people that makez us sooo damn sure that the world and all of itz inhabitantz are here soley for our own use, abuse and abandonment? And I'm not using the "us" and "we" as in plural. I mean you. I mean me. I mean every person az a single entity. We seem to have the impression that we are the lead role in the greatest play ever performed and that everyone else iz just a bit supporting character. When in fact the sad but almost undeniable truth of the matter iz that were thiz ALL just a play than it would probably be boring the audiance to tearz because of the futility and arrogance of it all! I know youre thinking that thiz can not apply to you. Youre life iz so full of meaning and substance and blah blah blah. Well have a seat my friend, thiz may come az a shocker..........drum role..............itz just fucking life. BLAM! there I said it. itz just life not some dramatic end of the world movie where the chisled handsome hero savez the day at the last minute or the beautiful buxom heroin crashez through the window with only 3 secondz to defuse the bomb and save the world. BLAM! ..........itz just life, cant you, we, us just be happy with that little nothing of a gift? Slow down for christz sake. Itz not a race. Itz not a compition. ITZ not a movie. You are not the center of the universe. Youre something even better......Youre You. So shut the fuck up and just listen to youreself for once and maybe you'll find that not being the center of all that iz, well it aint that bad. Just a thought.

Green was My color, a blanket of green sprung from the rich fragrant earth, smelling of old glories, blood and the promises of an unforseen future. Rising tall and sharp with blades of teeth, strong bending but not break to strike back. Rolling hills of green. I'm running with love in my hands. Running young and free viscus love pouring from my flesh and now my color is Gold. Golden waves of rustling wind blow warm and gentle as a forgotten lovers whisper against my skin. Lost in time and clarity never to be remembered again. Golden. Melting to passion and heat. Too hot. The color of.... Grey. Sky. Heavy. Grey. Stone. Sky. Now I am still. Very still and the world turns grey. The world turns. Flame ROARS from the above Pressing down with anger and endings. Red like blood. Red like inside. Fire licks at weak flesh consuming thought and giving birth to terror, soul destroying terror is the color of the world now, Red. It flows in my eyes like blind screams and deafens the world with rivers of no sound. Smashing Desire, Ripping Minds Rapping EVERYTHING, SMASHING!!! Silence. White. Absence. Nothing. White. Nothing. White. Its time to wake up. Its time to wake up. Its time to wake up. Its time to wake up. White. Nothing.

A moment with nothing "All around me are familiar faces Worn out places, Worn out faces" Az i sit here writing thiz in an underground cyber cafe, with the metro train racing by not 50 feet above my head and the murky bay lapping at the shore only just out of the ring of light eminating from the flickering candlez adourning each of the grubby tablez that make up thiz piratez cave of technological soul searching, a verse from an old 80'z song playz on an unstoppable loop through my head. "Bright and early for the daily races Going nowhere, Going nowhere" A young man with a thick french accent and his friend sit at the next table speaking of late night revelriez, the beautiful women of thiz beautiful city and the prospectz of the evening while searching thier lap-top sceen for the best rate on wine country tasting tourz. All the while smoking thier thin sweet smelling cigarz and drinking dark dark red wine. "Their tears are filling up their glasses No expression, No expression" A little way across the cafe therez a grandfather-esq older latino gentleman with two of what i can only assume are his daughterz, maybe grandchildren, sitz staring intently at the terminal in front of him. With the help of the younger looking of the two girlz, they search through airport information to see when his wife will be arriving by plane that night. A very confused look crossez hiz face az the girl triez to describe how she iz finding the information amidst all the internet "static". "Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow No tomorrow, No tomorrow" Thatz when i notice her. A dirty lost face surrounded by concrete and cold streetz. She'z dressed in layerz even though the night breeze iz mild, probably all the clothing she ownz. Her hair iz matted and stuck in patchez at random intervalz to her head. The stink wafting from her thin frame causing people to cross the street. "And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad These dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had" She lookz up at me with big tear stained eyez that told the sad story of loss and hurt and a being of constantly scared. I've asked her whatz wrong. Apperently some one stole her shoez when she wuz passed out at the squatterz camp where she has been living with other homeless people since she came to the city some time ago. "I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take When people run in circles it's a very very Mad World" I've given her my shoez, nothing fancey, just Target brand generic shoez. Nothing special at all.She lookz up at me with big tear stained eyez that told the sad story of loss and hurt and a being of constantly scared....and smiled. I think i'll go home now. Just because i can.

Respect what you believe iz Right. Rise up against those that would harm your Brotherz. Educate each other in Truth. Live proper and treat your body with Equlity. Protect each other. Remain faithful to the tribe. Be blessed... These are the way of the new samurai.

Ten yearz iz a long time. Itz also just a blink of the eye. Friendz, Family, Enemiez & just Passer By'z die. New face'z & new passionz take the place of old. Where once I hide between sidewalk crackz, Now I dwell within ivory hallz, Constructed by my past only to be torn down Again & again. Five yearz is a long time. Itz also just a ripple in tha pond. Friendz, Family, Enemiez & just Passer By'z die. New face'z & new passionz take the place of old. When once I would sleep in the dank recesse'z of indulgence, Now I face the searing light of tomorow, with a blood inspired tear trailing down my pudgey cheek. Be healthy. A year iz a long time. Itz also just a breath, escaping from parched lipz. Friendz, Family, Enemiez & just Passer By'z die. New face'z & new passionz take the place of old. I would have liked to... If only I could have.... I know I should have.... I think I still could. Yesterday was such a long time ago. And yet it seemz like ten yearz. Friendz, Family, Enemiez & just Passer By'z die. New face'z & new passionz take the place of old. And yet they never realy leave, They never realy die They never realy stop, We just keep going on, and on. Friendz, Family, Enemiez & tha Past.... I Watched them all while sitting on a sidewalk, Hungery and waiting, Waiting for the Future.

So herez tha break down: Mondayz SUCK! They are like waking up from a hella hot Natalie Portman, Chocolate Pudding Midgetz & Balloonz Dream to find your actually in bed with Roseanne Barr on amphetamines! I Hate Mondayz! Today wuz Tuesday. Tuesday'z arent supposed to be as bad as monday'z. Right? Well...........it seemz to me like maybe monday and tuesday got together and plotted some shunnanaganz against me. Just a thought. Just a thought.