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WALMART

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, my > > >elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't > > >have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic > > >computer down at WalMart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll > > >tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and > > >costs ten dollars...a lot cheaper than a doctor." So Jack deposits a urine > > >sample in a small jar and takes it to WalMart. He deposits ten dollars, and > > >the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample > > >into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: > > >"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy > > >activity. It will improve in two weeks." > > > > > > That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack > > >began > > >wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool > > >sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and > > >masturbated into the mixture for good measure. > > > > > > Jack hurries back to WalMart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten > > >dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results. > > >The computer prints the following: > > >1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. > > >2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. > > >3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab. > > >4.Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. > > >5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get > > >better. > > > > > > Thank you for shopping at WalMart.
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