This is probably not going to be taken well at all but my desire and wish is that maybe just maybe it might touch someone.
Recently , I have been exposed to blatant racism, by choice that is, on several levels. So let me first take responsibilty for that. By that I mean I chose to continue to go to this specfic chat rm, I chose to not use the ignore button. These are my choices. Which may not be the smartest considering what it is doing to my spirit. I mentioned the above to let you know that I realize I have these choices. Let me add this, its justifaction i know but i feel it needs to be said. I frequent this room because I have met and befriended with several of the regulars. I am proud to say that I consider them my friends.
Initially, this blog was going to deal with racism, hmmmmm, but often we find ourselves driven to speak out on a deeper levels. So even ask I type my mind is trying to find agreement with my heart. Honesty............ courage, integrity hmmmm. Im sorry but thinking of these things often make u realize, or...... either ask yourself questions.
My question is this, to you and to myself. Is there anything in life worth standing up for. Now for this next part, for the purpose of effectiveness will be my own personal ohhh what shall we call it (insight, observation, judgement) you can decide. I know Im rattling here trying to process my thoughts. Just hang on.
Ok heres the jist of it, lately I find myself being offended daily by my own cowardice and others. There is not a day that goes by that I dont run across blantent cruelty. Often this is masked in humor, or sarcism but the effects are still the same. See i believe that the human condition is like this big ocean we constantly fill. Each and everyone of us either adds a teaspoon, some cups, buckets it doesnt matter. Some of us add nothing we just sit by and watch what others put into it. Whats amazing though is this is our only water supply. No Im not speaking literally now. You see every remark made, every good deed, kind gesture is a drop in this ocean.
Yet, this is not my concern today. No! My concern today is for myself. My spititual growth, my idenity, my selfworth to myself and society. See in this ocean of humanity, its not that people pour toxins into our water supply. Its that I watch them quietly and silently. Ohhhhhhhh, yes i can justify and rationalize my pacifity. Actually I have become somewhat of an artist at this particular craft. Here is my delimina, my wake up call, enlightment, what ever. How can I expect my sons to become men if I cant find the guts to make a stand. How can I expect people to respect me or my ideas when I cant fathom the thought that this is worth dying for, worth fighting for. Everyday I make choices, will I take a stand or will I sit by quietly and watch.
I find myself watching the history channel alot more these days. Looking at mans mistakes, achievements, its astonsing and truly magnificant. Yet as I watch the history of mankind it always amazes me the level of cruelty and selfiness that exist within us. Futher more that the average person will turn a blind eye to the most horrendous things imaginable. I mean Im sitting home going what the friggin hell were these people thinking about, thats ridiculous. Then it hits me, no there just like me..... silent. Maybe the most loathsome crime of all is Inaction, thats how it occurs.
Do not get me wrong now. I am not going to turn into Mr. Social Correct Warrior. Though it would not hurt if I chose that path. Keeping with honesty though I'll admit Im entirely to selfish to have the fortitude for that particular task. I can though make a effort to be vigilante about my importance to the overall condition of the human race. Something as simple as writing this rambling incoherent blog as I am doing now. Its just a drop in that ocean that I previously mentioned. So at least today, I can say I attempted to add something clean and positive to society. Even if no one reads this, the effect has already taken place. To whom you might ask? Well to the most important person that needed to hear this, myself.
