My Queen's blog: "Venting on Relationships Part 1"

A lot of people and T.V. shows these days like to express their feelings about holidays and the money it takes to make them happen. As my good friend Jeremiah pointed out, "most holiday's have lost their true meaning." Expressing his point that most people get so caught up in gift giving they forgot why they were celebrating the holiday to begin with. He goes on to write that holidays were "invented by card and candy companies to exploit the american public and make a buck." Even though he, nor I, can blame them for that I decided to share my thoughts as he has his about hoildays, relationships and gift giving. First of all, I don't really share these views. I like giving gifts to people on holidays and wish I could motivate myself to be more thoughtful at ANYTIME of giving thanks to people I love and care about. Why do people feel the need to wait until those holidays to give their loved ones nice things. Instead of doing it because of something, start doing it because of nothing. Give your significant other or loved one a rose because you thought of them that day not because its Valentines day. That way on the holiday you can still COOK a special dinner or choose another activity and it can be just as nice if you put thought into details. Sometime small details of what may seem insignificant are what shows the person you really care. And if you feel like you are paying holiday prices, then buy a gift a month or two ahead of time. You can buy things for the holidays anytime during the year. If you do that, then you aren't completely broke during the holidays. And yes i do agree that they are great money making schemes but all in all its like giving the economy little shots of red bull to boost its productivity. So it can't be all bad can it? Just remember to make the loving guestures for no reason just as many times or more than you do it for an actual reason. It may give your relationship a boost as well. Maybe then you will look forward to those holidays rather then dread them. YES, that's right I'm the next Dr. Phil. So lets recap: This year: 1. Give your loved ones cards or gifts just because you felt like it or thought of them that day. Don't wait for the holiday. 2. For the holidays, buy gifts that you know will be perfect as you see them then stores. Don't wait till the last minute. The gifts may not be there. Prices could be jacked up. What you wanted to buy is out of season. Or you can wait till your options are gone and buy a random gift that will probably be taken back. 3. Finding out about and giving a gift that someone loves really makes them think you took time out and thought about them as an individual, not some person you had to buy a gift for because it was a holiday. 4. Buying gifts through out the year for holidays helps you spread out the spending of cash. Therefore, you are not broke during the holidays. 5. Low on cash and an office to buy for? Check out clearance areas through out the year. You never know when you can pick up some small gifts for co-workers you love and those that don't know you have forgotten their name. 6. I typed it before and I will do so again. DO NOT forget your significant other's (or any loved ones) birthday or forget to acknowlege them on holidays that are significant to them. Even if you are fighting and not around each other. Because when you make up or get back together they will always remember that you didn't care enough or didn't think they were important enough for you to put your petty differences aside for that one special day of the year. (Even if they started it) Last, remember, you can always put your talents to work if you don't or can't spend the money that year. Cook, clean, paint, design, sew, or craft your way through the year and do if for no reason. No talent? Make a card anyway sometimes the big effort on the small mess is enough to make make your loved one smile. Just knowing that someone went out of their way for you or was thinking of you that day and wanting to make it a special day is reason enough to make every day a holiday.

Here is some random thoughts or advice on relationships, dating and marriage. Take from it what you will. To Start Know This: Not every relationship is good. Learn from the bad ones and move on. This will help you have a better outlook on dating and relationships in general. The Purpose: Dating is ment to weed out the bad suitors. That is why you DATE people instead of selecting randomly and immediately marrying them (which is what would happen if you never weeded out the bad ones). Bad relationships and breakups are supposed to happen. That person wasnt good enough for you. Arent you glad you found out what they were like by dating them before you made a larger mistake like pregnancy or marriage only to find out later you shouldnt have. Every person is different, some people date for years and into middle age before finding the one and settling down. Others marry early or choose never to settle down. People who marry under the age of 21 generally are looking for someone to marry rather than finding the best relationship companion in life (for that matter some people never stop doing this). Take a look at your relationship in 5 years, if it is still intact, and see if that is really how you want to live and be treated the rest of your life. And is this what you envisioned when you originally got married. Tips and/or Advice 1. If getting married is all you have to aspire to in life you probably wont have a great marriage or exciting life. People who arent mature enough to realize not to seek out marriage but rather seek out the best suited companion will have a hard time staying in one marriage. Most will find themselves in divorce and multiple marriages. There is more to life then finding someone to marry. Dont be blinded by the illusion. 2. If you forget your significant others birthday or important special event, she/he will NEVER forget. Not a good way to start or keep your relationship going strong. 3. The person who calls names in a relationship will always be called names in their relationships. Let us not forget the Golden Rule. 4. Think of what kind of relationship you want to have then act in that manner and accept nothing less. Its kind of the same concept as dressing for success. This will also help weed out those who are not able to meet your relationship needs, at which time you can move to the next. 5. If you seek out the most attractive you may only get just that. Find someone that is good or decent looking and let them become the most attractive in your eyes. Ugly people can become beautiful with a good heart and personality and super attractive people can become hideous just by opening there mouth to speak. 6. Twenty-one is a good age to wait until before considering getting married. Lives tend to change a lot between the ages of 18 and 25. Things such as being able to drink legally, go to or graduate from college, starting careers, moving for careers, and more partying options in general can really weigh on budding marriages and relationships. There are too many chances that havent yet been taking and a world of people you have not met yet. Dont have tunnel vision in thinking that you have to marry someone in your town at an early age to have a happy life. Experiences change people some for better some for worse. Sex and Relationships Many people wonder if they had sex to early in a relationship or wonder why there relationship never took off after having sex too soon in a dating situation. Here is my example (yes I know you may never ACTUALLY do this, its jut an example): Person A buys a car from the local car lot. Person B builds the exact same type car from the ground up. Which person is more proud of their car? Which person is going to take better care of their car? Which person trade their car in for a new one in a couple of years? Now apply your answers to these questions to relationships. remember the saying "easy come, easy go" Which would be the better relationship the person who got what they wanted right from start the person who worked put time into and nurtured their relationship to get what they wanted. There are plenty of people in this world to get instant gratification from. You don't have to be or be with one of those people unless you choose to. Everything in life is a choice, what's yours? Last but not least: When you have a bad relationship, breakup, or divorce make sure you learn something from it to apply to future relationships. If you cant figure out what was wrong, the odds are you are going to have to go through it again until you learn. These sad endings help you narrow down suitors. Next time have a better idea of what you are willing to accept and put up with in the next relationsip. If its not working out or those red flags (things you learned not to doin previous relationships) pop up get out and move on while your still thinking rationally. Each piece of knowledge you gain from a bad relationship or unsuccessful dating situation is like a piece to a puzzle. You may have to sort through a lot of pieces before you can make good matches that will lead to the completion of your puzzle. You may not agree with things I have typed here. Matter of fact for some reason i don't like to read what I type. This could be full of errors (most of which i don't care about). I may be way off in regards to you. Not everyone is the same nor will they fit in each category. People do have successful relationships that spring from any age and/or make hasty decisions in relationships that work for them. Most are not as fortunate and some have no desire to have relationships (which may change with time). If you see patterns in your relationship that aren't the greatest take a look at it as a whole to figure out why. Please feel free to leave a question or comment if you have further words of wisdom for those who would read this article.