The Queen of Evil Dreamgirlz's blog: "Undeniable Truth"

If you buy me a blast, happy hour or VIP I will make you a personalized background for your Fubar / Myspace as well as a very sexy salute to you. Just thought I'd share :)

Me and my supposed future FL roomie got into a REALLY big fight. Words were exchanged that probably shouldn't have been. In other words, I let my emotions get the best of me. I had a head injury (brain contusion. my brain was bleeding) not 4 months ago and the stress of the move, my anxiety, and my feelings for this person was what caused me to crack. I think I shall start becoming emotionless again. It saves me from the heart ache of dealing with people. I hate feeling like this. Dead inside. And I really do want to go live with him. We have a long history together. Even if not romantically I still value his friendship and want to see him succeed. He's unfortunately blocked me from most of his profiles and messengers. so I can't even really explain myself properly. That and I've been a total wreck since it all went down this morning. I wish I could tell him but I fear it is too late. Oh well. I guess I have other options. But it still hurts and sucks. And I miss him terribly. I just wish things could have turned out differently. Grr. So yea. I feel like shit. And I have no money. I wanted to buy a blast today and low and behold I have no money in the bank. DAMN! I guess it goes right along with my day...

Yea. So i've tried writing this blog 3x already because i accidentally click something or hit refresh without realizing it. So today was really fucking boring. The highlights of my day were finding out my sister is coming out to see me tomorrow, speaking to Sephiroth ♥ on the messenger, having KIRA "pimp" me out. lol. Thanks girly! and finishing up the night with a fairly decent conversation with Xavier. Blah. The shitty parts of my day: I woke up and till this moment have had only spuratic moments of peace and quiet. The rest of my day had me almost spiral into an anxiety attack. I found out my good friend Pendragon is NOT coming out to do a photoshoot and hang out. Which sucks because I'm moving to Florida on April 1, 2oo8. I don't know why I am waiting till the last minute to pack. I guess it's still hard to think about leaving Vegas. But it's necessary. I think that too is overwhelming me. Meh. Whatever... Grr. I want a blast. But alas. No money... Blah. and stuff. Sorry for the complainy blog. lol!

Yea the info is in my stash. Click. Click. BOOM! - just fuckin click and vote for me... (j/k sorta) please... k thx bye!

OMFG! I'm so excited! My ex girly who I haven't spoken to in sooo long (almost 2 years) just called me up hysterically happy to hear that I'm moving back to Florida! Yay! It was so random too! I missed her soooo much! And what rocks is that I'll be down there for her 21st birthday! Woot! Seems like all my true good friends are all either in / moving to Florida or in California, where my dad lives! So yay! I'm uber happy!

so im finally working on meh new site. having a few issues but im sure i'll figure them out! My new background on fubar is the basic template idea for my site as it stands but knowing me ill end up redoing it a million more times before it actually goes live...lol. I went gambling today and won 70 bucks...woohoo! so all around it was a pretty good day. been keeping busy which is always a good thing for me. it's when i have nothing to do that i begin to go a little crazy... oh... and seriously, if you like documentaries you HAVE to watch ALL the series "Lost Worlds" on the History Channel. It's teh shit! hehe... ok... back to watching my docs and working on photoshop!

i make really crazy disturbing images when im outta whack. but then i usually feel better. anger through imagery is the best form of therapy. my brother just informed me there is going to be 3 new dino specials on discovery channel tonite, so i will be preoccupied with that and the 5 new documentaries i just got. so... yea... i'm done being gay and depressive. (and thx for caring btw... you know who you are....)

My mom has been having issues with her breathing lately. She has already been to the hospital once and is returning again tonite. I am also dealing with trying to back up ALL my important data in case of a crash again. So far I have gone through about 15 CDs of Documentaries alone. It's ridiculous. The shooting at my brother's school yesterday was apparently a random drive by. I swear this country is going to hell and there is no hope in sight. Maybe my ex has it right. lol. he wants to save up a shit load of money and move out of the country. I don't say I blame him. My sister is having her own issues. She has been having real emotional hardships. I too am not sure how much longer I can maintain my self control and not totally go ballistic and go into a rage. I have tried to be nice to people and be helpful and understanding, but the truth is that I just want to be left alone for the most part. There are very few people I wish to speak to right now and none of them are online or awake. Blah... cest la vie. I'm just going to go back to my video game and disc burning....

due to severe pressure headaches and bullshit anxiety, i will be offline for some time. if you need to reach me... you'll wait... btw the school shooting was totally random