toxic blue eyes has passed away's blog: "Me Just Thinking"

Ok, I may just be out of it or somthing. But well heres another of my rants. Yes I know I rant alot. Get Over it. I am lonely. I really Liked a guy. But I know I stand no chance because I am sick. I am really shy when it comes to telling someone I like them. I can't help it. I was Always the geek in school, so yeah It scares me to get turned down. It takes me right back to my past. Plus I am scared to be with anyone, Lately I have gotten sicker I mean this is the sickness I have been. I hardly am able to get out of bed. Well needless to say it sucks But yeah back to the rant. I just don't want to get with someone for the fear of me getting so sick that I just mite pass...Ummm....Away... I just don't want to leave someone with that Kinda heart brake But on the other hand. I don't want to die alone. I wanna feel love again if that happens. But I don't want someone to be with me Out of pitty...Then it is meaningless... Then I die with a unreal love. Witch is not cool... I don't know..But maybe you guys, can help me understand or give me some hope. I am running short of that. I never have before... I guess I just Wanna Feel Somthing