tater tot king owner of The Four Seasons's blog: "um yeah"

i cant shake the feeling i am failing everything that means anything to me i feel like i cant do nothing right everyday i wake up i feel like i have failed the one person that means the world to me and i cant take that without this person i wouldnt be alive today and before you all get dont do yourself over a girl its not its my dad cause seriously if my ad wasnt there when i was 2 i would be dead cause i drowned and he saved me i have truely failed my family and what they stand for i have failed my grandpa and my dad the 2 people who mean the world to me i have all these inventions to make but i already know they will never make it out there not cause there not good there great they will change so much for the good but i cant shake them no more my family means the world to them and i fail them how can i be there for anyone else or good for anyone else if i cant help myself all i want to do is help but i cant even do that no more all i know is everyday its getting worse and worse and my life is getting smaller and smallers there are moments of light but right no those have even turned black i just dont know what to do anymore no matter what path i take i hurt someone and i hate that i hate hurting people i just want everryone happy well just venting any questions on this just ask

i am sorry to say but i have done something i havent done in a long time i have started to cut again i hate this but its this or the next step i know its not right but i fucked up like always i know there are alot of you that probably wont talk to me anymore and judge me and thats ok but i listen and listen and hear everyones problems and solve theres but i cant solve mine i cant ever fix mine only everyone elses

ell i have a new out look on life i am who i am for what has happened in my life but you know what i was looking at all the bad and not the good i finally am starting to look at the good cause you know what if the things in the pass didnt happen i wouldnt be able to find a great person i wouldnt have the job i have now, everything isnt ok yet but you know what its going to be great when i am done i am turning out to be who i truely am and thats a great person i would never let out i will be the best person anyone could ever meet i treat my friends like there gold and the ones that are close i will do anything for when i can and if someone did me wrong you know what owell that shits the past they will get what they deserve in time but all i got is nothing but love now days life is starting to look up again and i am so happy for this some bad things have happened revently but those things have opened up my eyes and from someone at work telling me something he has truely shown me things will be ok he lost his daughter a few years ago and he is ok wasnt to ok the day it happened but he is one of the best guys i know and kicks ya in the ass when you need it and is there when ya need it life will be ok finally i am so excited things are finally going to go my way

i'm done worrie what people thinking of me i am done worrieing if people talking to me i know i am the greatest guy anyone could meet i give the world to the person i am who ever i end up with will be the luckiest person around specialy once i get my invention made they will be able to have anything in this world that they want i am a loving caring person with a great sence of humar and i can make anyone laugh on the drop of a dime so i am done being depressed i am tired of all this pain anytime i get said i am just going to tell myself i am the greatest there is out there no matter what anyone says i am the best no matter what

i am slowly ok not so slowly kinda quickly but i see my life taking a spiral for the worst i will get better i always will and always have i would like to just say a few good words for if anything shall happen just remember, live today for what it is and dont live yesterday as it is today but live today as it is cause tommrow shall may never come, if you love someone tell them shall tommrow may never come, never leave the one you love for the one you like cause the one you like will leave you for the one they love, i think the only reason we are here on earth is to follow a path that only you can decide but remember for the choices you make today can bite you in the ass if you chose not to learn from them so dont live in the past but learn from it instead, a mistake is only a mistake if you dont learn from it but if you learn from it' it is only a learning experance, thats all i can think of right now i will come up with more later thanks

ok i got this person they say they love me well they probably do well she use to be my ex i dated her for 2 years i was kinda wondering i left her cause i wasnt happy with her i didnt love her anymore but my question is should i go back with her and be with her or should i keep looking for someone even if i dont find them and always keeping looking for that true love i aint making this a mumm cause everyone be mean but i was wondering should i just except what i have in front of me or should i go trry to find something better and truely be happy kinda confused here so if you could give your input i would like it ps that means comment shouts message do what you got to do would like a little bit of an answer

for some reason i get depressed alot and everyone who knows me in person tells me they want me to be like a i am normally but what these people in my life dont relise is the fact that my whole life i have learned how to put on the act of being happy cause in that form no one will talk to you if your happy and everyone leaves you if your not happy but i have found out everyone leaves anyone so whats the point of putting on an act isnt that considering lieing in some book out there its like make up or the wonder bra its a lie to just make people like you i dont know all i know is i am done acting i cant do that act no more i am done trying ok i am out bye

this pain i have inside me changes every few minutes one minuute all i want to do is hurt something then the next i want to hold everyone aorund me these issues consume my whole life over and over i know nothing but what i have lost and i know i can never get them back but as i wait to see whats around the corner i wonder who is going to be next and hurt me cause thats all it seems anyone does when i fall i fall hard i wish i could stand up and not fall hard but i havent been able to find a way not to fall hard yet i just wish this pain that i have would finally die and go away

i have a new friend and his name is karma this friend of mine is a great friend cause i noticed in my life everyone who has hurt me realises what they have done and a ex i was with 3 years ago i can make her cry and feel like shit if i told her what she did to me i kinda starting to think its kinda funny cause i know for all the pain that anyone puts me threw no matter what there always going to feel more pain then i do for it and honestly i'm ok with that cause i can be the nicest person out there untill you hurt me but i do feel one thing that everyone out there deserves a chancee so for you few that reads this never sell your self short if you do only person you are hurting is you when you see a great thing come by in life grab it and hold onto for you never know when another great thing will stop by its not a bad thing to take chances at all sometimes its a very good thing cause those chances that we take in life makes your life the best it ever could i mean if you ever look back on life everything leads you up to what you are now so that means the choices you make this very second will exffect you in the future dont live in the past but learn from it instead cause its the past that is noit learned from that will come back and bite you over and over time again no matter what happens in your life well done venting journal what ever you want to call this have a nice day and remember if you love someone tell them for you shall never know if you can tell them again have a good one bye

ok why does it seem that anything that happens in a girl life that dates hauntes them for life and let me note this goes towards no one in general but the thing is everyone i talked to on yahoo today is like i cant be happy cause of this day i mean serioulsy yeah i have a bad month but i cant remember the date or not but the thing is that date doesnt truely come around till 4 years later i mean if i did that shit i would hate janurary 2 when it falls on a thursday cause my grandpa died on that day but i dont i know he is in a better place i dont keep track of dates when i go out with people it never last so my question why do people do this to them selfs anyone got answer just curious note this apply for no one on here someone i dated for 2 years made me think of this and just pissed me off sorry for venting