J3rz3yFr3sh's blog: "uhhh"

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS. 2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND. 3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO. 4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO. 5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH. 6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" 7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US. 8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT. 9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN. 10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR. 11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT. 12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT.

Men: 1) 94% of men lie about their penis size. According to condom manufacturers, only 6% of men use extra large condoms. 2) The average man is 5 inches long when erect (no matter what you have heard ladies, that's the truth). 3) 80% of American men are circumsized. Even though Pediatrics say it is not necessary. 4) No matter what all the ads say, nothing can make your penis grow but time (most men reach the end of their growth by the early 20's) 5) There is no correlation between penis size and shoe size, hand size, or nose size. 6) Blue balls does exist! It's technically called "prostatic congestion." 7) Only 16% of men shave their privates. +Some stuff on the ladies+ ------------------------------ 1) Only 9% of women around the globe consider themselves "attractive" (20% of British women do). 43% of women use the term "natural", 24% say they have "average" looks, 8% prefer the term "feminine", 7% say they are "good looking", and 7% say they are "cute", and finally only 2% of women say they are "sexy". 2) An estimated 85% of women wear the wrong size bra. 3) 60% of women have had breast implants. 4) 75% of women dont like oral sex 5) 95% of women shave their privates. +Both+ -------------------------------- 1) Masturbation is healthy for both men and women. 2) 70% of highschoolers have had sex before they have graduated. 27% loose their virginity senior prom night. Only 3% wait until marriage. 3) 95% of men would have sex with a girl after 1 month of dating. Only 10% of women feel this way. +5 Reasons Why Sex is Good+ --------------------------------------------- 1) It is a good workout. Sex burns about 150 calories every half an hour of it. It will lower your cholesterol and improve breathing circulation. 2) You won't get sick. According to research if you have sex 1-2 times a week you are less likely to get sick. 3) You'll feel happier. You will feel a greater sense of well-being. Women who have more sex were clinically proven to be less depressed than women who dont have sex. 4) Makes you look better - [ problem is, ugly people don..t get any ]. Sex releases hormones in you which make your skin and hair softer and shinier and tone your physique. 5) (The best reason) You will live longer. Studies prove that sex makes you live longer. Men who had sex 1-2 times a week had half the death rate as those who did not indulge themselves at least once a month. It also makes you look younger. If you have sex 3 times a week you may look up to 10 years younger than you really are. Did You Know? ---------------------------------------- 1) Having sex 3 times a week for 1 year adds up to running 75 miles!!!!

I saw you hug your purse closer to you in the grocery store line. But you didn't see me put an extra $10.00 in the collection plate last Sunday. I saw you pull your child closer when we passed each other on the sidewalk. But you didn't see me playing Santa at the local mall. I saw you change your mind about going into the restaurant. But you didn't see me attending a meeting to raise more money for the hurricane relief. I saw you roll up your window and shake your head when I drove by. But you didn't see me driving behind you when you flicked your cigarette butt out the car window. I saw you frown at me when I smiled at your children. But you didn 't see me when I took time off from work to run toys to the homeless. I saw you stare at my long hair. But you didn't see me and my friends cut ten inches off for Locks of Love. I saw you roll your eyes at our leather coats and gloves. But you didn't see me and my brothers donate our old coats and gloves to those that had none. I saw you look in fright at my tattoos. But you didn't see me cry as my children where born and have their name written over and in my heart. I saw you change lanes while rushing off to go somewhere. But you didn't see me going home to be with my family. I saw you complain about how loud and noisy our bikes can be. But you didn't see me when you were changing the CD and drifted into my lane. I saw you yelling at your kids in the car. But you didn't see me pat my child's hands, knowing he was safe behind me. I saw you reading the newspaper or map as you drove down the road. But you didn't see me squeeze my wife's leg when she told me to take the next turn. I saw you race down the road in the rain. But you didn't see me get soaked to the skin so my son could have the car to go on his date. I saw you run the yellow light just to save a few minutes of time. But you didn't see me trying to turn right I saw you cut me off because you needed to be in the lane I was in. But you didn't see me leave the road. I saw you waiting impatiently for my friends to pass. But you didn't see me. I wasn't there. I saw you go home to your family. But you didn't see me. Because, I died that day you cut me off. I WAS JUST A BIKER. A person with friends and a family. But you didn't see me. Repost this around in hopes that people will understand the biker community

ok so i want to be a vip