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Ugh and damn do I feel like screaming!! I went to a bbq at my grandma's for her 78th birthday and had to deal with all the relatives. I told my mom that I needed to go out to her house and get some of my warm clothes, she is like you will have to call me because they are all under the stairs, wtf, I had the shit neatly packed in the closet plus all my shit hanging up. Just sitting here wondering if she can strike me harder? Then my aunt was talking about tattoos and aids, and my uncle was like well if she gets aids, the state will just continue to take care of her. He can literally fuck off! My family has no clue what the hell I go through because they are too busy telling me what I can do, rather then asking why I can't do it. I went to a NA meeting tonight, was going to get my 6 year coin, and just going in there took EVERY THING I had.... I was thankful my daughter went with me, cuz the anxiety and the nerves were seriously about to start a panic attack! UGH!!! Needless to say they didnt have any multi year coins so I will have to hit another meeting.
I wish I could just let go of my family stuff, but I cant. I try so hard to get them accept me, I wish like hell I could say oh well I am who I am, but it will never be that way.
