Keyon479's blog: "Truth..."

Follow this link to read... http://keyonsmith.blogspot.com/2012/02/happy-birthday-to-me.html

What is it with the truth? Why the hell are people so god dammed afraid of it? WTF? Do people not realize that being honest with someone is the best thing you can do for yourself and them?

You get people who are afraid to learn it. Why? Is it because you’re afraid of getting hurt?

Even more so, you get people who are afraid to tell it. Why? Do you think that by lying, obscuring, and/or avoiding, that the person isn’t going to get hurt? That’s a grand way to show the person that you care. I personally think that if you do that, you don’t really give a shit about the person, you’re more concerned with your own conscience. The ironic part of that though is that you can’t lie to yourself. Sure you can try, but in the end it’s not possible.

Let me go into that a little more though:

Lying/Obscuring: You tell the person what they want to hear so their feelings don’t get hurt or leave things out for under the same pretense. Why? It’s better to just be honest. That way you don’t have them thinking that something is what it’s not. With the truth they’re also able to make informed decisions about what they want to do. What do you think? Sounds fair to me.

Avoiding: Avoiding is fine if you’ve already communicated to a person how you feel and where you stand and they then decide to be an immature jerk about it. Or if after talking to them they still don’t “get it” and are adamant about “changing your mind”.  Other than that though, I think avoiding someone is worse than bullshitting them. Instead of giving them something false to go on, you give them nothing at all. You leave them under the impression that everything is fine and then just seemingly drop off the face of the planet. That’s not cool for a few reasons. It’s not like they’re not going to notice that you don’t talk to them, especially when they see that you could talk to them. Then it leaves them wondering. They wonder things like: Did they do something? Why are you all of a sudden not talking to them? Are you ok? Did something happen to you? Then they might even start doubting themselves and wonder if they’re stupid for even thinking that you could be avoiding them. They might even start to think that you've been playing with them all along, using them even. The solution for this is the same as above and it’s really a simple one; tell them the truth.

People seem to fail to realize that bullshitting someone (and I’m putting it all under that category) hurts a whole lot harder and longer than the truth. Look, if you don’t feel that way about the guy, tell him. Will it hurt? Probably. But he’ll be able to go on with his life a whole lot easier. If you do feel something for the girl, but you don’t think circumstance will allow for it to become more. Tell her. Will it be what she wants to hear? Not likely, but it’s the truth and she’ll be able to decide what she wants to do. If he expresses feelings for you and you’re with someone, tell him. Actually, if you’re with someone or interested in someone else you should probably let him know from the start. But either way tell him. Yes it is going to hurt him. But the truth will hurt these people a whole lot less than bullshitting them. By being honest you also save both them and yourself a lot of time and possibly grief.

I’ve been on the giving and receiving end of both bullshitting and honesty. And I’ve got to say that I like the honesty end of it a whole lot more. As far as giving goes. It’s so much easier to tell someone how you really feel and what you really think. Sure there’s been times where they got mad or were hurt, but the magnitude of those was nothing compared to the reaction to bullshitting. And as for receiving… I’d rather be hurt by the truth than be hurt by surprises brought on by bullshit. It’s easier to deal with and you have the facts that you need to do what you need to do.

What are your thoughts, comments, and opinions on this? I’d really like any input anyone has on the matter. So please whether it’s a word or two or a whole book’s worth, please share your thoughts.

-Have a nice day

So some people do things, extreme things, as a cry for help. Others keep it all locked up inside while it slowly eats away at them. I’ve been a follower of both schools of thought on the matter. I started out as more of an extremist, more recently I’ve tended to just keep it to myself and not let it bother me at all. Sometimes it has worked, other times… Well not so much. Now I’m trying a more direct alternative: just asking for it. There’s things that have happened recently and that I foresee happening in the near future that I’m not sure I can handle anymore, or be able to handle. So I’m writing this now, while I still have some degree of clarity and sanity left. If and when the time comes to make the call, I need to know who I can go to and more importantly who I cannot. So with that being said. If I can count on you, let me know. If I can’t also please let me know. Either way, I’d really like honest responses. Whatever the truth may be, it’s always easier to bear than a creative piece of fiction. Thank you for your time and I look forward to your responses.

~Just me