Kel's blog: "Random Thoughts"

I am having another moment of random thoughts (or as a good friend says "brain diarrhea" LOL). I recently started reading this book "The seven levels of Intimacy".

It is quite a good book and my reason for reading it is to gain more knowledge in True Intimacy. Already I am surprised at how well I can relate and how true the Authors words are. Here is a paragraph from the book:

"The problem is, we are afraid. We are afraid to reveal ourselves, afraid to share ourselves, afraid to allowed others into our hearts, minds, and souls. We are afraid to be ourselves. We are afraid that is people really knew us they wouldn't love us. That is the deepest of all human fears, lurking in the heart of every person. Consciously and subconsciously, we are always asking ourselves, "If they really knew me, would they still love me? Employ me? Want to hand out with me?" We desperately want to love and be loved. But we want to be loved for who we are, warts and all. And although we are afraid to reveal ourselves because of the possibility of rejection, it is only by reveal ourselves that we will ever open the possibility of truly being loved.

This is quite true. Something we all seem to consciously know at some level, yet really stop and think about it a moment. When we meet someone new we put our best foot forward "First impressions are the lasting ones".. why? Because we want to show our best image to others to have the lasting impression that we are "great". If someone knew you.. inside and out. Knew your worst fears, you dreams, your total thoughts, why you do everything you do... will they still love you? Will they still think you are a wonderful person inside and out? I believe deep Intimacy comes from showing someone our "true" selves and everything that we are. By putting our guard down we are showing we are human. Most important we are showing exactly who we are inside and out. Only when someone knows you for who you are (completely) can you share the wonderful experience of true intimacy.

I think with maturity and acceptance we allow others to see who we are. If we accept ourselves, embrace our uniqueness and welcome our differences... we experience one of the greatest joys of life. After reading only the first few chapters of this book, I have already made a new goal for myself. I want to experience true intimacy in all of my relationships. I have always stood up for who I am. I respect and appreciate who I am. I already have experienced "True Intimacy" in a couple of my relationships, but I wish for it to be more in some of my other relationships. I wish to go through this life being who I am and sharing that with others. Life is a self revelation and growing. When I am old, fragile and my days have passed by I want to sit back and sigh knowing I did the best I could do with my life. I experienced most of what life has to offer. This is a promise to myself each moment of the day. I am going to add a note here. My husband read this and interpreted the word intimacy as "a spouse, close sexual relationship". He said that someone reading this may also interpret it this way. I want to explain when you have an intimate relationship, it is just not with your spouse. Every relationship you have, has a level of intimacy (spouse, mother, sister, brother, friends). Intimacy is a true understanding of knowing another, respecting another, being fully open with another and unconditionally loving another.