Troubleina's blog: "Troubleina"

Ever feel like you just want to pack up and run away? I want to have a mid life crisis. I'm so fucking lonely, i can't stand it anymore. I am just feeling so alone, and want it to end. I want to belong somewhere. I feel like i dont. I spend all my time at work, or at home, with my kids. I have no life outside of that. I just want to pack up and leave, dissapear, and start over. I don't want to be lonely anymore :(

I hate dissapointing people, especially ones i care about. Sometimes my brain just doesn't work. Maybe it's cause i'm selfish....and i'm not what i really think i am. dissapointing someone is worse than making someone angry. :( I would rather they be angry at me. Angry means they can forgive.....dissapointment means redemption, similiar but not the same. I have to prove myself all over again. I hate dissapointing others.

a little poem i found, author at the bottom :) Before you I was nothing, Since you, I feel so good, Today I am still nothing, But it is because I am yours. At any time of day, It is to you that my thoughts go, More my brain is empty, Easier you enter Your world is so beautiful, I am confident train leaves. You are going to conquer my mind My heart is already acquired ---------------------------- Avant vous je n'étais rien, Depuis vous, je me sens si bien, Aujourd'hui je ne suis toujours rien, mais c'est parce que je suis tien. A tout moment de la journée, c'est vers vous que vont mes pensées, Plus vide est mon cerveau, Plus facilement vous y entrez Votre monde est si beau, en confiance je me laisse entrainer. Vous allez conquérir mon esprit mon cœur vous est déjà acquis ~by cucksub

I love the way you look at me I feel the pain you place inside Lock me up inside ya dirty cage While Im alone inside my mind I like to teach you all the rules Id get to see them set in stone I like it when you chain me to the bed There ya secrets never shone [chorus] I need to feel you You need to feel me I cant control you Youre not the one for me, no I cant control you You cant control me I need to feel you So whys it involve I love the way you rape my skin I feel the hate you place inside I need to get your voice out of my head Cause Im the guy youll never find Im faking all of the rules Theres no expressions on your face Im hoping some day you will let me go Release me from my dirty cage [chorus] I need to feel you You need to feel me I cant control you Youre not the one for me, no I cant control you You cant control me I need to feel you So whys it involve...you and me.. [repeat 4x] I love the way you look at me I love the way you smack my ass I love the dirty things you do I have control of you [chorus] I need to feel you You need to feel me I cant control you Youre not the one for me, no I cant control you You cant control me I need to feel you So whys it involve you and me.. [repeat 4x] Youre not the one for me, no

It always feels like a craving is unfolding in me It's just as bad as it seems So I'm looking around cuz I'm lost when I'm down I was blind but now I'm starting to see The slave in me And now I'm falling again I'm so close to the end I can see The slave in me And now I'm falling again Don't know where to begin Can you see the slave in me It always feels like I'm shifting and moving the line But I'm still falling behind Now it won't go away and the feeling will stay I can see I'm starting not to believe The slave in me And now I'm falling again I'm so close to the end I can see The slave in me And now I'm falling again Don't know where to begin Can you see the slave in me I can't take one more day I can't stand to feel this way Take away from me, take away from me The slave in me And now I'm falling again I'm so close to the end I can see The slave in me And now I'm falling again Don't know where to begin Can you see the slave in me

Listening for your footsteps Just waiting like a fool Burning with a fever Only you can cool The clock beside my pillow Has ticked away the night Like a heartbeat mocking me Until the light Gotta stop these thoughts about you Gotta learn to live without you Gotta find some freedom for this weary slave 'Cause I'm hungry for you And I'm longing for you And I'm burning for you I worship your opinions I imitate your ways I try to make you grace me With a word of praise However much I tell myself That I'm strong and free and brave I'm just another woman Raised to be a slave Slave, nothing but a slave Mind of a slave Body of a slave I find I gave away the soul That I wanted you to save I'm just another woman Raised to be a slave hungry for you And longing for you Burning for you And I'm longing for you burning for you And I'm yearning for you Longing for you

WOOOHOOO!! I'm planning a trip to Vegas!! Soooo excited! anyone have any suggestions, let me know!! :)

Someone i thought i knew, and could trust, has repeatedly hacked in to my account. no matter how many times i change my passy, this has been done. I have lost all trust, and respect for this person, and if you are reading this, you need to stop doing this now. you are only making it worse. i have been a friend to you, kept your secrets, please don't put me in a position to break that trust, even though you have broken mine.