Jolly Ole St NIck's blog: "today"

Its wednesday morning, and I cant wait for Friday morning to get here. Im leaving this weekend to see my Buckeyes take on Penn State in Happy Valley aka State College Pa saturday night at 8pm. Im so pumped up for the road trip, I take a year ly road trip to a big ten away game for ohio state and I always have a blast. Then next Saturday Im going to the Ohio State game in the Horseshoe to see them take on Wisconsin, Im so pumped up!!

So as i was sleeping last night, I had a dream. I dreamed that I was in the special forces. Why did i dream this? I dreamed it because its my subconscious living out my lifelong dream. My lifelong dream growing up was to enroll in the Air Force Academy, and become a pilot, fighter or transport I just wanted to fly! Now I just want to know why i was born with a fucked up hip that wasnt developed so theres no way the services ever would have accepted me. Why me? thats a question I wonder alot of lately. Why was I born? Why am I here on earth? What is my purpose? Im 28 years old and I really dont know any of those answers. I wish it would quit eating my insides, I wish i could lead a normal life like most other people/friends in my life.

so my birthday is coming up saturday sept 22...who wants to come celebrate with me?

I really hate dating. Even when i wasnt looking to date, i meet a girl and just by accident we start dating. WE are having a blast, getting along great, the first date ends in a kiss. we go on a few more including me taking her to an ohio state football game, we had alot of fun that day. we kissed quite a few times, im happy as can be, we made plans to go out this week, and on my birthday(a week from tomorrow). Well this week she bails on going out to dinner because she working overtime and i work 3rd shift. Just a few minutes ago, she texts me and tells me she just wants to be friends. why in the hell do women feel the need to lead guys on? why does she bother kissing back? atleast i didnt blow money on her, she paid her own way(except for the t icket, i purchased it previously). Why act like you are having a great time and are into a guy then all of a sudden give him the silent treatment for 3 or 4 days then say you just want to be friends, fuck that, thats immature bullshit, just be honest from the get go!

have ya ever had a period of time where ya feel like a loser, where ya feel like no one wants you? This entire summer ive felt like such a loser, i feel very unwanted by anyone. My friends have all but deserted me because they all have significant others or are married with children or children on the way, etc. I cant remember a summer ive spent more time at home since i was old enough to drive. The dating life isnt going so well lately. I feel so ALONE!! I recent met a girl, been on a couple dates, shes sending mixed signals, but a brownie point for her is shes aware shes doing so and apologized for it, but is that a way of her being nice and trying to let me down gentle or what? I wasnt even looking to date when i met her, i was anti dating, i still am somewhat, but i saw something in her, enough to give it a shot. why do i feel so alone? why is it so hard for a decent looking 27(28 in two weeks) year old guy to go out on dates, have fun, and hang out with women and basically feel like hes wanted by someone instead of getting shit on by everyone hes nice too?

i just finished watching one of the most depressing movies ever. It was FEVER PITCH. some of you may ask why a movie about the redsox with jimmy fallon is depressing. well the whole story line of being in love and having a girl who sits by your side and loves your team as much as you do. its something i havent had, and more more reach day its looking like its something i never will have. I cant seem to find that special buckeye fan for me. oh well, damn depressing movies.

so today was my birthday....i turned 27, i feel old as hell and basicallys pent the entire day in bed...didnt go out, had a pretty much boring birthday, they suck after 25 once your insurance goes down.