Tistyra's blog: "Tid-bits Journal"

It’s that time of year again

that I get to remember …..

All the good times we used to have.

 

Staying up all hours of the night

Until everything we did was funny J

 

Just hanging out being our goofy selves,

 

Then one day I looked at this picture

And realized “? Hey ?Where did you go?”

 

I used to be a shoulder to lean on

 

We used to share our secrets

 

We used to have the best food fights

 

And laugh all our problems away

 

Sometimes I wish

You would never grow up

 

That you would still need me

The way I want you to

 

That we could tip our heads back

And lick the icing off our nose just one more time

 

That we were best friends again

 

Happy Birthday Little Sister

I love you so much

Love you sister

It’s that time of year again

that I get to remember …..

All the good times we used to have.

 

Staying up all hours of the night

Until everything we did was funny J

 

Just hanging out being our goofy selves,

 

Then one day I looked at this picture

And realized “? Hey ?Where did you go?”

 

I used to be a shoulder to lean on

 

We used to share our secrets

 

We used to have the best food fights

 

And laugh all our problems away

 

Sometimes I wish

You would never grow up

 

That you would still need me

The way I want you to

 

That we could tip our heads back

And lick the icing off our nose just one more time

 

That we were best friends again

 

Happy Birthday Little Sister

I love you so much

Love you sister

Our vacation was wild, Check out the pics on my MySpace in our Florida album. There was crazy traffic on the way down, we got stuck in a nasty storm in Miami. We arrived 22 hours later , at 2:14 am. To set up camp, yeah we were at a local campground about 4 miles away from the main strip in the keys. So we started with getting our tent up in the dark (lol) , then proceeded to blow up our air mattress , our power converter that supposedly could handle up to 400 watts still would not blow the dam thing up.

 

Lucky for us the bathhouse in the campground had an accessible power outlet , so we drug the dam thing in there, one we got that established we made it to bed around 4 am,

 

Day 2 (the rain)

So its pouring down raining inside and outside our tent ( even though I weather proofed the tent)

And wild roosters and chickens are like pigeons back in Johnstown , so I get woke up at 6 am by a rooster call! Scared the crap outta me. Plus it is hard to sleep past 6 am in a tent in Florida to begin with..it’a already like 89 degrees.

The tent incubates the heat tremendously

 

I played around the campground most of the first day. Fiddler Crabs , Bigger crabs , wild iguanas licked my toe as I napped on the docks. it was awesome. I caught frogs and geckos all day J Allot of wildlife and beautiful plants everywhere.

 

By the end of the second day we had made some friends at the campground..)fellow musicians) we jammed , smoked and drank till about 1am..then the campground owner came by and told us to keep in down.

 

From there we all packed up in dudes lifted really nice  bronco and headed to town to be loud and drink some more. I did karaoke and we all got silly.

 

Day 3

 

We decided to try to do something regardless of the rain or not, So Brian and I snagged a kayak and went through the bayou of the mangrove forest. we kayaked all the way to the bay where we saw a ray of some sort. it’s real hard to paddle in those mangrove forest , very tight and awkward.

 

That evening we noticed our fly pole to our tent had broke off , and our grill didn’t have all the parts. On top of that one of our tiki torches got messed up. So off we went to get another tent.

 

We went to higgs beach and a nice restaurant off the beach. then I found a coconut piece I decided to glue seashells to and make a coconut boat J

 

Day 4 We scheduled our parasailing and glass bottom boat ride we had a few hours to kill so we went strolling to the shipwreck museum. That was neat.

 

Our parasailing was awesome! We were about 300 feet up. the glass bottom boat was nice I likes being on deck better though. They let you bring alcohol and smoke everywhere down there.

 

I bought a pretty hat with seashells on it J

We decided to leave early Saturday morning and break up the trip home. We stopped by a turtle hospital ,saw the endangered Key deer  and of course I took a bunch of pictures.

 

We head to Sanibel Isle from there. that where Brian spent most of his summers as a child.

And let me tell you that was the most beautiful beach I had ever seen.

Seashells EVERYWHERE! So we played and collected a bunch.

 

After Sanibel we tried to go back to his grandmas house but it was a secured area (she passed away awhile back) and we couldn’t get in.

 

Then we stopped to take a tour of the everglades on an airboat (that thing was loud but awesome.

 

Then on the road home. it took forever. we stopped in the only motel we could find vacancy in for 127$ a night,

 

On the way home we faced allot of detours. man was I glad when we made it back to the mountains.

 

So that was our vacation J

 

After we made it back it took awhile to get used to thing again. My turtles escaped and we were all very tired.

 

J

Here are the lyrics...great song...I love 80's music!! lol... I Melt With You - Modern English Moving forward using all my breath Making love to you was never second best I saw the world thrashing all around your face Never really knowing it was always mesh and lace I'll stop the world and melt with you You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time There's nothing you and I won't do I'll stop the world and melt with you (You should know better) Dream of better lives the kind which never hate (You should see why) Dropped in the state of imaginary grace (You should know better) I made a pilgrimage to save this humans race (You should see why) What I'm comprehending a race that long gone bye (I'll stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you (I'll stop the world) You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time (Let's stop the world) There's nothing you and I won't do (Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you The future's open wide (Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you (Let's stop the world) I've seen some changes but it's getting better all the time (Let's stop the world) There's nothing you and I won't do (Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you The future's open wide hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm I'll stop the world and melt with you (Let's stop the world) You've seen the difference and it's getting better all the time (Let's stop the world) There's nothing you and I won't do (Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you (Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you (Let's stop the world) I'll stop the world and melt with you (Let's stop the world)

Sometime i use this blog to vent , so if you really don't care do not read...this is just for my sanity. So of you that know me best know i have a good life but that my siblings and mom don't always have ot together and often try to drag me back down to the shit I faught so hard to come out of. Just recently another sister drama. A lil background on the situation..my sister was abused , I took custody to try to save her..she destoyed an already stuggling nion between my ex and I ...Then she (age 13 at the time) got into an SUV with some one she didn't know ,21 year old man and he was high ..flipped his ride and ejected her out the back windshield. After this and all the drugs she did ..it was off to foster care..Now I though she was doing good and I find kiddy porn she made with her friends on myspace..holy hell and my ex husband saw it..I deleted her account and she flipped the fuck out..we argues i cried..my fiance told her dont call back until shes over her lil pity party..she threatened to cut herself (which she has done in the past) then this morning after my 2 mile walk..i get two messages from my mom ( how by the way tried to hang her ownself after the death of her fiance just 3 months ago). Mom says my sister Hope is in the hospital she overdosed on her Lithuim .I want to go to see her but she will just thrive on the attension.so i won't. Shes bi~polar..which i probably am too but im against meds and fine..She talked to herself for 6 hours before she overdosed..I want to know how the hell these foster parents allowed a suicidal teen axcess to all her meds..the agency responsible for her temporary placemet?? Did they even inform the caretakers of her diagnosis..im on a rampage with the adults involved in this matter...but my sister can never know how much I truly care Hense Another Day I'm awake and don't know why

Times like these I remember when I was young and lost Without a friend I always wished for a big sister I have a little sister Who means the world to me I want to protect her From the pain that I’ve seen She just a little girl in a dangerous world But she won’t listen And she feels unheard What can I do to show her a glimpse? Of the path, she could find She’s beginning to slip Further from me So filled with hate She won’t look at me I sit quiet and wait Always the first am I to apologize Never want her sad Filled with hate in her eyes But this time I stand Alone Screaming out to a girl On her own She sees the world is out to get her Everyone an enemy Never trust and never love Her hatred and confusion Is all that I can see Today I lost a sister To the world without a care All I said is when you’re ready Yes sweet Hope I will be there YOU DON”T EVEN KNOW ME! She screamed with tears flowing free YOU DON”T LOVE ME! She screamed LEAVE ME BE! So you see where I’m caught YOU’RE NOT MY MOM! We fought IM ALL YOU HAVE HOPE! LISTEN TO ME! I LOVE YOU. But I’ll leave you be It hurts tough love in times like these In moments you’re buried up to your knees

Flighting Feelings of desert dreams She took me by the hand Said it’s time to fly I was afraid to go But a force pushed me forward I looked into her eyes Where all the clouds danced I knew that I had to go I got into the Cessna Looked mysteriously about the cockpit She removed the control wheel lock the ignition was off, master switch was on, flaps all the way down, master switch was off, and fuel shutoff valve was on. I looked at the right wing. I looked at the flaps; she removed the tie-down to the wings. I started the engine. Open the throttle and she yelled “clear” out the window; she looks at me and says “now you're ready to go”. I knew in my bones how it felt to fly Before my dream climbed to the sky As if I were a bird before I had no fear I was suddenly calm I sailed the wind, rushing by my ears Tiny people below me, passing like ants, Chattering birds we glide with ease, Streaking white clouds with polished smooth edges, Auburn and Sienna colors of the Arizona dessert Mirages of elegance, A gentle breeze, weaving through my hair, My eye lids pulling back as I begin to climb to heaven Noisy engine, blends into the silence of my solitude Queasy flip-flopping in my stomach as I spin in loops and circles, The wind gently brushing at my face, Watching my shadow skim over the sand Dazzling rays of sunlight guiding me through the vast, open sky. my friend at my side whom I’ve never met Yet something so familiar We now flew as a flock together soon to land Dipping low into the market place I knew she was here to tell me something We landed and I saw the key We passed to her so long ago Her link to us I felt How did she know? To love a man who lives in the clouds Never be afraid to fly He will guide you And I will watch you from behind Guide you where to go Give you more throttle If you go too slow I will always be here

Being alive and awake, dreaming with my eyes open, never taking anything for granted. Honestly fame is not my game I'm a kid at heart, I love to color, jump in puddles, and make snow angels. If I'm chipping off my nail polish that means I'm nervous/bored.... it's almost always chipped off. I actually can't stand the smell of nail polish remover. I painted them yesterday (a pretty blue color and two nails still have it on there. I am an animal lover and can't stand to see anything die,hense the day we were heading to work and someone ran over bambi..we turned around got the gun and put her out of pain. Boy did I have a hissy,I really don't eat allot of red meat but I am not a vegetarian, just a hypocrite. I wear my heart on my sleeve, always have and always will. I trust everyone until they give me a reason not to. If I don't like you, you will know, I'll be nice and polite, but trust me you will know. I have the best friend in the entire world, he's grounded me and kept me sane and safe for the past 7 months. He is also someone I see my future with. I am so lucky to have not let him get away. I’m growing up and learning how to handle things, but I will always be my silly self. I sing in the car and really don't care if I sound good or if people hear me. I’m learning how to drive stick shift, I stalled on a hill, couldn't find 5th gear and had a hysterical crying laughing hissy fit,I was so embarrassed . Hopefully I redeemed myself a little when I drove part way to Kansas last week. I just got on my own, divorced and am completely terrified of screwing up. I have a 5 year old son . I am a complete insomniac at least 5 months out of the year, the rest of the time I sleep like a baby. I'm probably the most complex person you will ever meet, I know a lot of people say that but seriously ask people who know me, I'm pretty complex. When I love it is with every inch of my body and soul. I'm a complete Daddy's girl .So much that I was supposed to be a boy and Tommy is the nickname I got stuck with. I am a big sister, oldest of4 I spent most of my time helping out. I love my brothers who are now bigger than me. My beautiful sister whose growing up so fast. My mom is (well I love her) that’s enough on that topic. I like being taken care of. But I rarely feel self worth if I don't constantly try to help and take care of everything else. I don't listen to authority and if someone aside from my parents or my best friend tells me what to do I 10 to 1 odds will not listen just on principle. Last I checked I was a Democrat. my guy seems to think otherwise. After allot of soul searching I agree with him. I'm a republican When I'm home alone I dance around and sing at the top of my lungs. I'm a cuddler. I have a collection of comics. On of my favorite possessions is my Grandmas necklace and my pictures. I love all music especially heavy metal. . I like hot chocolate especially if it has the little marshmallows in it I also think im addicted to coffee, two cream four splenda usually. I love snow/hate the cold. I like to ice skate even though I'm awful, I have never tried skiing.(yet) I hate my hair and how long it is but don't have the heart to cut it. Last summer I shaved it completely bald (GI Jane) honestly though ..my grandma died of cancer. I did it for her. I’m a mountain girl at heart, part of me will always be on Hoppy Toad Rd.No matter how much city life I've seen. I love food. I love cooking it more. Ask my friends Chuck and Carrie. one night after my separation. and one to many beers. I seriously cried until they let me make them spaghetti! I’m a complete tom boy who loves to climb trees. I like taking things apart...seldom do I actually manage to reassemble. All the jobs I have loved the most...weren't your typical girlie girl jobs. Yeah I worked in a steel factory,yeah I was a mechanics apprentice,yeah I was your print press operator and worked rebuilding and operating laser printers. I can't stand guys who have no mechanical or musical inclination..those are my passions.I also can't stand guys who like thosethings more than me..so I found what Im looking for (finally).I am a little geeky. If you don't know the abbreviation LOTR goodbye! If you can't stand SCI-FI C-YA. Growing up in Johnstown Pa..raised in frederick MD I think I thought I was some sort of rebel I rocked a leather jacket. sold cigarettes, smoked stuff, drank and fought allot. and was for lack of a better word a trouble maker in high school and I'm damn proud of it. I'm a HUGE procrastinator! I love to write, and use My space for the beauty of the Blog. Its so much easier than having like 5 journals at a time. I would like to think Im pretty good at it, I find inspiration in all things. Once every 3 months I decide to rearrange the entire house,I am known for a little OCD..then I can't find shit..opps here comes the ADD.. I get angry, cry, throw things, and lose control, and then I'm fine. I never once bought the tee-shirt that said Im normal.im about the farthest thing away from that,I have been told I'm a happy drunk. I don't drink around my son at all though. I just think Its gay as hell when he ask me for a drink and I have to say nope its an adult drink. so I don't even have the slightest drop of beer when he’s around. I hate most girls, but have a few that I adore. I'm complete addicted to Starbucks, Cafe Verona Grande or Venti Skinny Latte..Hold on know I need to have some BRB..I'd get an IV if I could. But this will have to do People think I'm prissy, or snobby when they first meet me, I'm not. I love to laugh until I cry. I love old rock and roll songs and will sing along to them at the top of my lungs. I'm pretty damn awesome. I'm26!!!! Holy crap almost 30..Hopefully one day I will be kicking in fitness competitions, I just got a degree for fitness and nutrition. I would like to own my own gym (any investors?) I've been told I'm feisty, bubbly, self destructive, entertaining, loving, accident prone, cute, obnoxious. The accident prone part is very very true!I also have to touch everything in every store....so this is a bad bad thing! I have so much energy that it's contagious! I try and bring fun to everyone around me, but it can get me in trouble at times. I'm full of spirit but I'm a little touchy, and won't back down from anyone. Good thing those assault charges got dropped. Sorry :( Im better know I swear ) Having a kid fixes that ...they mimic every thing and I want him to handle his own ...but only honorably.. I watch Dr. Who occasionally speak with a British accent "Ello is there anyone Lurking About? ME, ME, ME,.. No I am not self centered! Author: cswandering Word count: 1214 Sittin' on the fencepost chewin' on my bubblegum ( chomp.. chomp ...chomp...chomp..) Playin' with my yo-yo ( whoo-whoo)! And along came Hoymen da worm... and he was growing so big!!! I said Hoymen whassup wit dat? "I had one to many sodas"... he would say He kept drinking and drinking more and more everyday.. He grew out of his tree now too big to play!!,He started to cry and a flood came about We all got so scared we began to shout! Then the loudest thunder we ever did hear.. Was Hoymen he burped and shrunk in his tear! He swam and he swam Till the sun dried it up And I found him again and said what’s up? He said "I was so sick of being small I wanted a quick fix once and for all" "So I kept drinkin that soda sip after sip I was no longer the last to get picked in the game" Even the fifth graders knew my first name I was on top of the world Till I got to big So I cried and I cried when I broke my own twig. But now I am stronger I grew a whole mile my brain that is.. cause that’s what’s worth while. So you see it doesn't always pay to try to get bigger. Sometimes it’s a little one who makes you a winner.

I waded off the Cancoon river shore Ace was hot on my trail The crocodiles chased me Ready to kill I ran with my blue suitcase Through the bobarded path People looking for a good time Others realeasing wrath I needed a disquise Something to help me blend To many dangers Where to begin I walked upon a group cloaked brightly and singing I asked if it was safe for me there If they could hide me They gave me a cloak gleaming orange and red I pulled it up high To cover my head I worked my way down the corridor So many faces No one would find me Looking down My bag had been left behind Should I chance my discovery And go back for it Or move on aimlessly I walked up to a table Stash or smack for sale I slipped him 20 and walked on my way Four little bags of green and a shelf of bongs that said for promo only I picked up my peice Sat down to toke With that inhale The alarm went off and I awoke

The greatest gift.. Author: cswandering Word count: 183 10 Jan 2008 The Greatest Gift are moments shared, A simple embrace to show you cared, Tree or no tree todays for family, The greatest gift are the faces of the giver because thats the true reward, to know something youve done caused so much joy and all the love directed toward one single moment,one gentle smile one soft kiss Its all worth while.. fall asleep dream some more cause there ill be when you open the door, Ill never leave I love you so although sometimes i go Its not for long its not forever...its just for now until were toghether Im just sorry its took mommy so long to see your smiling face I long to hold your little hand make you smart..teach you how to be a man. for one day youll be on your own and responsible for making a house a home.. Just remember the greatest gifts are ones that can't be bought or returned scattered or burned ,they will even grow in time...they are yours and mine.. Merry Christmas Tobias..