kittyhrr aka kitshad's blog: "Thoughts"

just my thoughts ya know things come and go for a reason in ur life. Walking thru a dark forrest and things looked bleak and black. slowly walking waiting for some light... and BANG another knock on the head which makes u loose self confidence so quick "omg i failed agaain" then in no time at all a Gift is dropped into your lap.... a gift that has opened doors...of things i couldnt believe. I see there r People out there believe in me. So im ready for the ride of my life with HRR and somthin special in the wind......... big hugs to those there for me today special hugs to wicked and Matt u guys know why:)

april 17th My Lil man son come home to me after 3 1/2 yrs oh he has made me smile laugh cry soo much... so awesome to have him back. He makes my every day brighter and sunnier to see his smiles, get his hugs and kises and hear him say " I LOVE YOU MUM" & GLAD TO B HOME WITH YOU... something i learnt they always come home sooner or later when they know its good for them... This young man of mine just made a Happy MAMA... meow :)

know i should walk away say goodbye, but damm he has my heart...and its breakin. so much to say to him but dunno how. i wanna stay but i wanna go how stuffed is that, his in my thoughts, my dreams, my world. How do i do it walk away say goodbye from somthing that meant so much. Tears fall often i sit alone trying to dry them wiping them away and they just fall more..... damm why did i ever start this yrs ago. Y did i let him have my heart and not just my head. im screamin out let me go but its not happening... i keep goin back lookin at his smile, feeling his lips, watching him day in day out.... where can i find the strength to say goodbye to a life i know that isnt good for me and start afresh. Its too damm hard so damm hard.... tears fall again he is so close yet so far so much to say and i just cant do it. im lost and dunno how