sweetbrwneyedgurl27's blog: "thoghts and Feelings"

I am alone

I am dead inside

I cannot even cry anymore

this misery has no name

I cannot even begin to describe what i'm feeling the one man i thought would always be mine is no longer. I saw pictures today of him and his new girl and it felt somewhere between a gut punch

and my beating heart being ripped from my chest. I know i have to except that he's over me and i do want him to be happy even if he's not with me.. but why does it hurt so bad. I just want the pain to end,

Why can't anyone love me? i know this is a pathetic blog but i just had to put down my feelings.

I think i have finally had enough, i think i am going to delete every account i have like fubar and facebook and myspace and POF and Mingle and Tagged. I am seriously tired of people adding me as friends but never talking to me what is the point in that!??!? I also hate people who pretend they care just to get in my pants and if they succeed i'm ignored again, so i think i'm done!!! I think i'll just be happier alone at least i wont get hurt that way.

any tue friends will read this and maybe comment on it like saying wether i should close my accounts just let me know!?!?

While talking to one of my fubar friends we came to the subject of pankackes lol.. Which got me to remembering makin them from scratch.. (yes i'm awsome i can do that) I can remember growing up in Eden Az  (where i learned how to make from scratch) and i remember my dad making pankakes so big and heavy... the man used weat flour and some other type of grains that even the heartiest eater could only eat one maybe one and a half!! But What i remember most when growing up is my siblings horror storries about these pancakes.. he used to put different things in them... not just bananna or chocholate chips like normal parents noooo he put stuff like corn and green beans lol let me just say THANK GOD HE LEARNED BETTER BY THE TIME I CAME AROUND LMAO

I think i have come to a conclusion as to what my new years resolutions will be...

- I want to quit smoking (not sure i will) but i want to.

- Start excersising so i can hopefully loss weight... allot of it.

- Most imortantly i am going to take chances and open up to people and try not to push them away... maybe let myself care for a change and be cared for. if there was someone who wanted to. 

Well that about somes up what i want in the new year.  well not really but it's a start lol.