SEVERDLIMB's blog: "THIS IS HOW I FEEL"

All work and no play makes me a dull boy.. All work and no play makes me a dull boy.. All work and no play makes me a dull boy.. All work and no play makes me a dull boy!! Live in a secret Live in a lie Live in a dark hole beneath the black sky Live like a myrter and draw my last breath Feel like an old man with a knife in my chest Live like a Transian Live like a thief Hide in a closet, grinding my teeth Sit in a small room with the walls closing in Open the shutters but everythings still dim Payback For all the things I've done in my past CHORUS---- Im not the reason Its not my fault Its not my problem Im not the cause Im not your scapegoat Im not your god Im not your myrter I'd leave you all Im not the reason - (Im not your scapegoat) Its not my fault - (Im not your god) Its not my problem - (Im not your myrter) Im not the cause - (Id leave you all) ----CHORUS All work and no play makes me a dull boy Feel like a clown without my funny nose Walk to the window break it out with my fist Jump from the sill and i'll plunge to my death You can be selfish whatever ya think Throw back my pills and take a sip of my drink Walk under the clouds Walk under the trees Always again envy covering me Payback for everything There are no take backs CHORUS Sunshines gone Its all gone By the way just so you know Always this is how I feel By the way just so you know Always everyday this is how I feel Im not the reason Its not my fault Its not my problem Im not the cause Im not your scape goat (im not your scape goat) Im not your god (im not your god) Im not your myrter (im not your myrter) This is how I feel (this is how I feel) By the way just so you know Always everyday this is how I feel

Cold and silent, soiled face I will wash it all away, With my love, That's all she's ever needed, from me It's my time, to mother, One of my own in my life, I am so alone, left with no one In my life, I'm so alone Life submissiveness, Hypnotizing the ignorant a little boy's best friend's always his mother, At least that's what she said, Life of a simple man, Taught that everyone else is dirty, And their love is meaningless, I'm just a soiled dirty boy, I'm just a soiled dirty boy, Sheltered life innocence, Insulated memories, spark reflections of my head, Duality in my consciousness, Caught in the war of hemispheres, Between the love lost in my head, Mommy do you still live inside of me, I'm so lost in my life without any guiding, Protected me my whole life from everything, Nailed shut the doors to the shrine, To screen your dead eyes from me and my sickness, Mutilate and sew my new clothes for masquerading, Aprons of flesh corpse scalped hair with skin upon my face, Deliver the remains from her womb of earth, Prep the rack and tie up for new love's rebirth, Covert understanding of novice surgery, I'll focus concentration and only take just what I need For sickness I'm masticating, Dancing and masturbating, Celebrate in fields of night with skin upon my face If I soak my hands in others blood am I sick, If I wash my hands in others blood am I sick, If I drench myself in others blood am I sick, If I bathe myself in others blood Blame mother for the sickness, Mutilate and sew my new clothes for masquerading, Aprons of flesh corpse scalped hair with skin upon my face, Dance and masturbate in night light by myself.. Nothing is left for me to gain they're coming to take me far away, [Chorus] Life of a simple man taught that everyone else is dirty and love is meaningless I'm so soiled Soiled

Cop provisions feed my addictions mistakes I made then I opened up the holes and they crawled in, Now when it's time for the feed they won't let me forget, They ride upon my back and they'll fuck me with their need, My invisible enemies all my monkeys Their coming they're coming their coming they're coming to take me away. Disgusted with my position so submissive I am the only way we get away is give in sharpen up the razors stab the needles into pipes to kill cravings so sick of this in me can't stand the want to need can't get free always got a grip on me There's no use to fight this wrenching tourniquet of deprivation obedience subservience leads to substance Give it to me, give it to me Leave my motivation to chemical dependency no room for patience Don't want it need it come on right now [Chorus voice 2] Everything I've become now is everything I didn't want to be Every time I try to run away I fall on my face they drag me back Every time I try to run away I fall on my face Help! They won't leave me alone If I would have known back then what I know now I 'd take it back If I would have known back then what I know now I 'd take it back, I'd take it back I'd take it all fuckin' back Stay away stay away Hold me I'm shaking violently Pull me out of my covering Mold me into a new man Lull me into a deep sleep There's no use to fight this wrenching tourniquet of deprivation obedience subservience leads to substance Even if you want you can't stop Internal primates forever

Losses, losers and more, gain of life's pleasures cohorts listen behind the doors to a life sheltered in, less than zero in me all my walls falling down pains aloft misery I'm sure that the lessons were learned I'm sure that the punishments went well deserved by the pawn in the plan taste of shit bitterness walk from me everything systematically Come on youweretheone youweretheone, To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing Tell me what I'm supposed to be Tell me who I'm supposed to be Tell me what it takes to ascend Tell me what it takes to live Patience, pleasures and rewards, come in due time stare at the sun I'm bored in a life meaningless soaking up all of me like the cross you worship life is loss look at me I'm sure that some day we'll wake up I'm sure that some day we'll wake from the dream Of success and focus...tunneling to the light glowing deep inside of me your taunting I wake up Come on youweretheone youweretheone, To dredge up shit inside of me in my pointless life of nothing Tell me what I'm supposed to be Tell me who I'm supposed to be Tell me what it takes to ascend Tell me what it takes to live Tell me nOW! Tell me nOW! Pain misery distress dismal know where depressed idiot failure In me......calling......loser......man I'm the Loser......loser.....loser......in me......who I am....in me.... Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside of me, Don't need your sympathy or empathy, don't need your sympathy inside of me, Don't feel sorry don't feel sorry for me Come on I know youweretheone youweretheone Numb to feelings inside of me why I've seized my vision Don't need you to tell me who to be Don't need you to tell me what to be Don't need you to tell me how to ascend Don't need you to tell me how to live

A dead issue, don't wrestle with it, deaf ears are sleeping A guilty bliss, so inviting (let me in), nailed to the cross I feel you, relate to you, accuse you Wash away us all, take us with the floods Then throughout the night, they were raped and executed Cold hearted world Your language unheard of, the vast sound of tuning out The rash of negativity is seen one sid edly, burn away the day The nervous, the drifting, the heaving Wash away us all, take us with the floods Then throughout the day mankind played with grenades Cold hearted world And at night they might bait the pentagram Extinguishing the sun Wash away man, take him with the floods

Out of my mind, gun up to the mouth No pretension, execution, live and learn , rape and turn Fret not family, nor pre-judged army This is for me, and me only, cowards only Try it [Chorus] Don't you try to die, like me It's livid and it's lies and makes graves Graves descending down It's not worth the time to try, to replenish a rotting life I'll end the problem, facing nothing, fuck you off, fuck you all Tortured history, addict of misery, this exposes me for weakness is a magnet - watch me do it [Chorus] Why would you help anyone who doesn't want it, doesn't need it, doesn't want your shit advice when a mind's made up to go ahead and die? What's done is done and gone, so why cry?

Cheap cocaine, a dry inhale, the pills that kill and take the pain away Diet of life, shelter without, the face that cannot see inside yours and mine [Pre] When I'm hiding, when I need it, it lets me breathe, for our handle on this life, I don't believe this time [Chorus] Would you look at me now? Can you tell I'm a man? With these scars on my wrists To prove I'll try again Try to die again, try to live through this night Try to die again..... Forever fooling, free and using,sliding down the slide that breaks a will Mothers angel, getting smarter, how smart are you to regress unfulfilled? It's a damn shame, but who's to blame?