Jiggles's blog: "things to myself"

Part of me is engulfed with silenced sin. And when I want to shed my heart, all I do is hide in my skin. The pen won't release its ink, reflecting what I feel within. Rusty thoughts feast on my life, a trial made of tin. So I don't want to speak right now, I would only like to write. Humanity feels bleak to me because it's never been right. And to delve deeply within the depths of my undying plight, I'm never correct in anything, I lack divine sight And as we fly forever past my angst and through my mind, We'll find on this endeavor that the truth isn't kind. I wish I wasn't myself, in a time booth filled with time. I don't want to lend my mind and soul to the upkeep of mankind. I beg of you, teach me how to do it like you, please. I've reached the color where I can't handle these responsibilities. I'm not the sort of dog that is bred to succeed. In the double helix fog, you'll see that that's a seed. In the map of my mind, there's a hole in the middle. Even with the gap of time, I still feel belittled. There's no love for him to give, said the cynical riddle. Couldn't I be played out like a zombie? piped the ridiculous fiddle. To take care of a dime as pretty as this, I'm going to have to forgive, love, and forget...

Another day, Another line. You choose him, time after time. I'll write yet another, poem about why I'm sad. I'm so sick of it all, I miss feeling glad. I'm tired of writing, these poems that never put me at ease. If someone knows the way out of this heartache, Don't hesistate to tell me, please. People say "You'll be okay", And smile right at you. And your thinking," Yeah right, you don't know what I'm going through". Do you know what it's like to feel, like you'll never feel happy? Or what it's like to feel like you have to scratch your eyes out, Just so you couldn't see?. Even as I write these words, my breath is filled with sighs. Because they remind me of you, so I slowly begin to cry. It's not fair, this feeling that's left me bare. It's not fair that I'm still missing you, and you don't even care. You made that obvious, when you let my world turn dark. I stare lifelessy at everyone, On my heart, you left a mark. My poem is done, my feelings have been told. I hope you remember my words, Til' the day you are grey and old...

Now as the darkness surrounds me, I feel as I have never felt before. You look at me like I'm stupid, but you have no idea what I go through. I block your face out of my mind but you don't go away. I cant stand the way you look at me with that fake "I care" look. leave me alone you cant change me. I refuse to change. The more you try to get to me the more I will resist your words. Maybe one day you'll see, you can't change someone who is set in their ways Don't send me away it wont help. You're stupid you're crazy. But not as crazy as me. Your thoughts and words will not affect me. I have learned to ignore everything you say. Hopefully you will understand I cant change I wont change I WILL go my own way!

Will I ever find my one true love? Do you believe there is such? I've reached out on a long search But never close enough to touch Couldn't find anyone to hold me Lost in nothing but my dreams Everyone I loved was false I said screw my self-esteem Is love just something you say To get what you want Because real love is fake You say the three words So that you can come and take Whatever you want All I ever wanted was someone To tell me he would be there To have that special felling But no one ever seemed to care It disgusts me that my one man Never came to cure my loathing It's over now no one to stop me Watch my dead limp body floating Is love just something you say To get what you want Because real love is fake You say the three words So that you can come and take Whatever you want A fisherman finds and pulls it in Still blood red from dripping wounds Watch me on the ten o'clock news Maybe my love will find me soon

How long will you scream at the walls... For someone to listen? Surrender the right to resolve Cause no one will listen Confusion sets in With no beginning or end Frozen in place The scenery's unraveling Hanging on by a thread The child is screaming While holding her breath Hanging on by a thread The child is screaming While holding her breath How long will you scream at the walls... For someone to listen? Surrender the right to resolve Cause no one will listen Forever you face The fear of being erased No need to speak They'll pass you by and wonder why You're hanging on by a thread You throw away everything From holding your breath How long will you scream at the walls... For someone to listen? Surrender the right to resolve Cause no one will listen Biting your tongue The top of your lungs Biting Biting Biting your tongue How long will you scream at the walls... For someone to listen? Surrender the right to resolve Cause no one will listen