disgruntledjames's blog: "There for you"

I have never been so scared in my life, to think that you are on the verge of loosing someone you LOVE you feel like you don't have the strength anymore. I often cry myself to sleep wishing that you would hold me so tight and never let go and promise that everything would be alright. I LOVE you with my whole being, and I remember that I made a vow to LOVE you for as long as I shall live and I meant it. I can't imagine life without you, the thought of your touch that makes my whole body shiver, the love that you giving me day by day makes me look forward to a brand new day, every second that we spend together will always be cherished in my heart. Moments go by, days go by but memories of you and I will never leave this heart of mine. Every time you hold me close to your body I feel the connection that is very powerful and strong and it's a kind of a connection that would move mountains and cross the deepest oceans, for you cause there is nothing I would n't do for you cause you are my Angel Lets take it from here and never go back on what happened in the past lets never dwell on the past cause the past might destroy what we have achieved so far. I LOVE you and I wish that you would never doubt that. Written with Love and with tears running down from my eyes.

I never knew How I loved you.... But I loved you with all my heart.... But what you did to me baby tore me apart I never Knew loves agony- or hurtful tears never felt this way in all my 29 years I dreamed of you holding me- I dreamed of you wanting me- I dreamed of you liking me- I dreamed of you caring for me- My wish came true- You told me you loved me But then that day came- When I went crazy You told me you didn't need me anymore That you found someone knew- I finally knew loves pain & what it would do It was like a knife stabbed my heart- It sank to the very pit- It fell to pieces- Bit- by- Bit I can't believe you left me- My heart can't leave you- But now look what you did to my heart... I felt like an abandoned puppy Everything so blurry- I couldnt believe That day when we kissed- It hurt me It hurt me to know that you kissed And flew away.... I was in so many tears- I didnt Have the heart to tell you what I wanted to say My mind, My Body, and My tears- Went out of control- When I needed you, you were there You were my life, my dream, My every soul. If there was a way for us to be- Then I would take the chance Even though you hurt me- I loved you since first glance.... Ever since those brown eyes looked at me.... I fell for you- I loved you, I needed you But you threw out my heart like it was an unwanted Animal- And now we were through. When my graduate came- I was so happy... We went to the movies- how sweet it was You grabbed my hand... You were with me.... I still have the card that you gave me.. And never will I let it go... For everytime I hold it close to me The feelings in me I want to show.... I'm dying to tell you this- but I can't You left my heart- you left it unwanted You left it to die- It felt like it was abused- and tattered You crumbled every piece of my heart- The pieces on the floor were shattered But I still I wait- I'll try to let you go But it's impossible- for I love you so Even though you said goodbye- Even though you might not return- But forever my love 4 you will always burn

Are you my perfect woman? I had made a list of whom or what was to be my perfect woman. How can another person "make" us laugh if we are not interested in laughing? How can another person be like us if we separate ourselves from others? Trying to "find" someone with common goals and like values may work in a business partnership. I have learned that has nothing to do with matters of love and mutual sharing. After I found the woman that nailed down each and every item on my "wish list" of what was to be my "perfect woman" I realized that was "not enough". What I then needed to do was to try and make it enough by updating, revising and changing my list of items necessary to form my "perfect woman." I now realize that making a list, setting goals, objectives, and a qualification application for my ultimate partner, will not allow a positive relationship an opportunity to unfold or to be experienced. I do not know who a perfect woman would be. How do I describe my ideal match? I am not looking for anyone or anything that I do not already have. I experience life as perfect and complete. In describing what attracts me to you: you are a brisk wisp of wind, a ray of warm sunlight, or a cool and silent shroud of snow. You are unique and individual. You are open-minded and non-judgmental; you feel that there are many possibilities and opportunities that we have not yet experienced. You are familiar with unconditional love. Simply put, you are willing to consider the possibility of love without conditionally. Love that is pure, simple and insolently perfect. Just as we all are when we leave behind our ego and individual requirements. I admit that I do not know who the perfect woman is, could be or should be. It does not necessarily make any sense to know. And what does a perfect woman really mean? You are a bit of heaven on this earth. I am willing to consider all possibilities. It is our unique connection and chemistry that will provide a path to unity. Are you this person?

If I ever get the chance, To hold onto your heart. I will take it with no doubt. And never tear it apart. If I ever get the chance, To actually make you mine. I'll grab your hand so fast. To that, I couldn't decline. If I ever get the chance, To hold you in my arms tight. I'll definitley take that. Even if for just one night. If I ever get the chance, I'll make you mine forever. I'll hold gently onto your heart. ... If I ever get the chance.

She broke my heart She ripped it in two said she felt really bad but deep down she didn't have a clue She didn't know what I'd gone through All the sleepless nights alone not having someone to love well if only she'd known that was the final straw the end of the line for me why should i keep getting hurt in my life love wasn't meant to be I stopped looking out for my Mrs. Right I stopped caring about girls but at the end of the tunnel there was light She spoke to me as if she'd known me forever instantly i fell again but for some reason it was different i didn't care if it were to bring more pain I've never fell like this before i don't care that this may not be the 1 shes made my life complete this is more that just a bit of fun she found me when no one else was looking i smile every time i think of her she's my princess and my Queen no more tears fall from these eyes no more crying myself to sleep each night this is all i ever wanted and to keep it i will put up a fight

heartbroke Sitting all alone just been through another fight crying into my pillow blackened by the night screaming so loud till my lungs ache i just don't want to go through another heartbreak you tell me you hate me you wish i would die well tonight this broken knight going to learn to fly pick up the razor prepare to bleed close my eyes and pull back my sleeve your words echo in my mind i carve them onto every inch of skin i find walk to the bathroom my skin bleeding and sore slip and fall from the blood on the floor so I'm sitting here just thinking about you tears fill my eyes i now know what to do i run a deep bath slowly climb in I'm about to for-fill gods greatest sin...

Laying in bed, Thinking of you, I begin to cry Like I've only Cried for you. Your gone from me, Only to return for A short while... I think back on The time we shared. All those long nights Holding each other, Comforting each other, They seem so long ago. Your gone form me, Only to return for A short while... All those dirty looks As we would cuddle Up close just to talk, And the whispers As we would pass. Your gone from me, Only to return for A short while... All the hardships We overcame together, That just seemed like Jokes when all was done. Your gone from me, Only to return for A short while... All the smiles, laughs, Tears, hugs, and all The happens we Shared seem like They're now dreams. Your gone from me, Only to return for A short while... All the time we Spent together seem Like part of a Different life. Your so far away, It's hard to feel you Anymore, I feel As though I'm Loosing you! And I can't stand The thought of that, I'd die without Knowing your there! I miss you baby!

There For you For My kids, True friends, My family and God.. I want to save you from everything that holds you back, and makes you feel weak. From all the pain that everyone in their life has to feel. I wish that I could take away every unpleasant thought that may ever fill your head. Thoughts that will ever make you look down upon yourself. I will always try to choose your happiness over my own, For you deserve to be happy much more than I ever will. And I know that you are capable of doing great things when you try. I just wish that you could fully understand that you can do anything. That I believe in you more than anyone and will never stop believing. I would give my world for you to realize that you could do anything to harm me, And no matter what I will always continue to forgive you. That no reason will ever be great enough for me to let you go for hate. Even if we are in the darkest place we have ever been, I will be here none-the-less. I will always try my hardest to protect you from pain and aggravation. I won't abandon you till the day of my death, and still I will carry on. That even if everyone were against you, I would still be standing next to you. Taking all the pain and suffering for you, the beatings and let downs, So that you would never have to witness them all yourself. When you need someone to rely on, I will be here always to carry your burden. I, myself will take on all the demons that face you, the best that I can. And when you wish to carry on for yourself, I will have no doubt in you. Just as long as you know that I will always be here waiting to help. For you are my hero and I will always willingly put your life above mine. Because all in all that is what friends do for each other. They go through anything and everything for the other one. Even if it means receiving hate and pain beyond all belief. I just hope that through it all, you will always do the same for me. That you can willingly trust me and forgive me for all my mistakes. And be able to see past all my faults and failures that I hold. Even if you can not admit to this, I will still always carry on for you. -