Traveling through this space, bare of emotion and any true concept of it's reality, I attempt to reach it's horizon. In my mind I vaguely see an image, reaching it's withered arms to me, screaming in expression, but in no more than a whisper calling to me. What is it? Entrapped in this scape of what appears to be nothing more than illusion, my senses tell me it's more. Previous feelings of fear, hate, and hopelessness have become void in it's wake. Desperation ensues, riveting me to this pace, although taking me nowhere. I continue on, looking around me, taking in everything; seeing nothing. Faces, sketched of light, smirk, relentlessly taunting me, daring me to march on, daring me to turn back. Reflections of darkness cast upon halos of light dance in the dead air, only paces ahead of me. Electricity surges in random places, causing a pain only matched by the intense purity of any love I have experienced.
Looking back, feeling the slight sting as a sudden gust of nothingness whips my tender flesh with my own locks, I see everything I was blinded to during my travels to this point. A wall of love, hate, pain, sorrow and vast confusion, shaking in the distance, as if in quake, fighting unfathomable destructive forces. From that wall...Voices, everyone I have ever known, calling to me, begging me to return. My life. My children. Me. I see myself balancing atop the wall, wavering here and there, catching my balance only to have it thrown off, once again, by some explosive force within. Within me. Realizing I, again, am trapped inside my own being.
The horizon I had been following crackling with fury, I turn and run back towards the wall. Crying out names, and all feelings and emotions tied to them, begging them to help me climb that wall once I get there...If I get there. I fix my sight on my stumbling figure upon the wall, willing myself to maintain enough balance until I get there.
I never dreamed I'd one day have to climb the walls that I myself had put up to keep people out.
