I feel asleep last night, happy for the first time in a long time. It was simply because I had gotten of the phone with someone who loved me, knowing that I can just relax and let go of fear for once in my life.
Then I was awoken by tragedy, and my heart closed and the tears started to fall and the sadness sank in. That even with tbhat love this sadness that was dumped on my will bear a weight on me that I may not be able to bear. I am strong, but I live the liife I do to try and bring smiles to everyones faces around me.
I have now not once but twice brought the smiles to a creaming hault in the faces of a few and fopr this I will always remember that saddness and tears seem to fallow me.
My tears will not stop falling since I hung up the phone nearly 5 hours ago.
There are few things in life that I cherish most, and n ow not once but twice my life has caused two others to dramatically change. There is only one left that can change in that way and I intend on protecting it with all that I have.
But how do I get my tears to stop falling?
How do I not fail the third as I failed the first two?
I am sorry if I am rambleing in this blog, I am just mearly thinkling outloud in this one.
Thank you for lioistening if you read...
