HellzBelleURMostBelovedBlasphemousChild's blog: "The Sanctity...of "The Mass".."

Tuesday, December 18, 2007 Not Not weak...exhaustion do you smell the death? Not beaten...consumed can't you smell death? Not timid...constricted Not under the influence...starving Not judged...convicted... death in your face... you are blind Not insane...hungry...thirsty... you have never tasted thirst Validation is...denied The denial...is not valid Sit...as you cast dispersion...upon ...my free will. liars...hypcrites...sheep...herd... I will cast myself out...by my own hands... and when death comes...so be it...I welcome it... the unwelcome are sitting in the chair...of dispersion...built on lies & self adulation...lies & hypocrisy = blindness Read your book...Read your book...read your book ...outloud...i dare you... you're scared...you can't... I can...I will...I am not scared...I am...sickened...by your fears...cowards...LISTEN... "Let he who is without"sin"...cast the first stone" your book...not mine... your words...and your actions...confliction!...conflicting!...conflict!... CONFLICTION... 1 + 1 = 2... your word + your action=HYPOCRITE... justify...justify...justify...give me...justification...(do you smell your own damnation...?)...it is pungent... you...have lost...all...your senses... no sense=nonsense... Now...I have not convicted you...but... had I...let me hear your plea... It is all as it should be... I am still blessed...with my kindred...they are all I need... Mother Earth...Father Sky...My Goddess Inanna...They will give me all the Inner Strength...I will Need...Harming None...As it is...So Mote It Be... Belle...

The “Sanctity”…of..“The Mass”… The world…eats…my “sanity“…with teeth…sharp, wicked, brutally biting…ripping every nerve…goading my inner being…to make myself…disappear…for lack of want….from lack of sustenance…….aches to starve me…take my inner strength…pushing me to make…a …homicide of myself… I don’t belong…I don’t belong…no need to belong…in “their world”…bitter….bitter taste…it lingers …on my tongue…every moment I exist…amongst “them”…the “they”… It lingers everyday…in a night filled with dreams…not pretty…angry surreal…underlying evil …most can’t see…is so clear…to my eyes…threatening me…”don’t speak!”…“don’t tell”…”don’t react” “pretense…your sanity”…for the “sake”…of “the masses”!!!…no need for the “masses”…they fear …me….for reasons…of ignorance…& apathy…no…empathy…is a sin…worse than missing confession…telling your "humanity" to “him”…to the pedophile…behind the curtain… Hypocrisy…making me vomit these words I spill …on paper…stench of hypocrisy…sickening my soul…makes leprosy smell divine…putridity…ugliness of apathy…the apathetic…with no care……no need…except to take away…to keep…to covet …for themselves…no reasons…only…to have…to say…”I own”…. Stay away…from my soul…stay away…keep back…stay away…you couldn’t…understand it…even if I let you in… now…I am…turning into…the greedy…just for the sake of…wanting…like them…to keep my soul…I can…because I can…I won’t let them …eat my soul… ...mine…it is…mine...my precious…will I begin to fear the greedy “sin”…of coveting…my own damned soul???…this world…is madness…what it can do… I turn…nauseous…depleted…disgusted… Rancid…hypocrisy…putrid hypocritical mass…of sheep…condescending…without rite…nor thought…for any…except…the others…trapped in the confines…of …”the herd”…in the safety …within…”the herd”…so sad…for…them… Belle…11/28/07