Before I get bantered and beaten about the head and shoulders, I DID NOT MAKE THIS UP! I read this in a magazine and thought this rang so true it was worth posting. Informative and amusing...
1. Women will not have sex with a guy if their legs are not shaved. If she shows up for your date and she is sporting some stubble, she is trying to keep herself in line.
2.The sight of you in your underwear and socks is a total turnoff. Loose the tighty whities guys and make sure you X the tube socks first thing!
3.If you get her phone number on friday, Wednesday is the best day to call for a date. Monday says your too desperate and thurday is too late.
4.Laying a towel down over the wet spot is like laying your coat down over a mud puddle..nobility in bed scores big time points!
5.Women that are obsessed with their dogs also like to keep their men on a short leash....
6.She hates your Xbox more than she lets on. Dump her for a little gaming time and she will soon be looking for a guy with less toys.
7.If you have something to hide, she will find it.
8.The most painless way to end an arguement, is let her win it.
9.When women are drunk, they have a very hard time orgasming. Save the mack daddy moves till she is sober.
10.The average woman kisses 79 men before thet get married.
11.She still has all the love letters and cards from her past boyfriends.
12.Women want to talk dirty in bed but they are afraid you will not repect them in the morning. Tell them its ok and it will not make her any less a lady and you may unleash a tiger!!
13. Don't call her "cute" to her, thats one step away from "not vomit inducing". Call her "hot", "sexy" or if she is got a buzz on "sexy as fuck!"
14. If she suddenly cuts her hair short, it probably means she no longer cares what you think of her. But it does not mean she doesn't care what someone else thinks of her.....
15. Let her beat you at something every now and then. Video game, checkers, ping pong, anything! You will greatly enhance you chances of getting what YOU want from her.
16.Women will look thought your things for evidence of past relationships. If you want to keep the peace, get rid of things like cards, letters, photo's, address books and diaries.
17. Gain her trust by calling her at 10 PM if your out with the guys. She will go to bed content in the fact she is on your mind.
18. Dated a stripper? Thats a fact you are better off keeping to yourself!!
19. The minute she decides she likes you, she is imagining what your two kids will look like and what her first name in front of your last name looks like.
20. Pretty girls hang out with ugly girls because it makes them feel prettier. Ugly girls hang out with pretty girls for the same reason.
21. All women think they are smarter than their mates in one or more ways.
22. She likes one of your friends.
23. At least one of her friends wants to sleep with you...
24. Do not caress a womans face while kissing her unless there is some really really deep feelings for her......
25. You will never really know how many men she has actually slept with. The standard lie is 5, which actually means around 12
