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I'm bored as hell. So here's 15 random things most people may or may not know about me. 1] I don't give 2 shits or a fuck about sex. (SERIOUSLY) 2] I haven't been 'with someone' in almost four years. 3] I like the color purple. (As long as it's a deep shade.) 4] I'm a smartass, who also has a great tendancy to say the wrong thing at anytime. 5] I love to be right, and hate being wrong. (I get over it.) 6] I cry (When no one else can see) 7] I enjoy writing poetry 8] I live with friends. (Whoever's got a spot on their floor really.) 9] I moved to Arizona from Michigan to go to college. 10] I was once engaged to the greatest woman on earth... but I fucked it up. Her name I won't say, but the initals are JDKM. 11] I'm a virgo... this means: 12-13 12] I think logically. 13] I'm meant to be alone. 14] I hate shrimp 15] If you call yourself a B*tch with pride... stay far the hell away from me... It's an insult NOT... a compliment. Okay #15 needs some explaining: Bitch means a FEMALE Dog, and dogs are benath men (and women). They are our friends, but more importantly our loyal, and faithful servants. They are beneath men (and women) in the food chain and in the evolutionary chain. So if you as a woman really want to be a BITCH... with pride, then you are admitting in that sentence that you are beneath me. So how is it that some feminists I have known have stated: "I'm a bitch, I'm better than you, and that's that." (Seriously that's a direct quote.) Personally I desire a woman who is my equal, or above me, not beneath... well okay...maybe beneath me in one aspect...but ONLY that one aspect. ;) lol. So there ya go... If you call yourself a bitch and are proud to be one... STAY FAR THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

X

I'm slowly losing sanity, the dreams are far too real. Can't tell whats different, my skin begins to peel. Losing sight of the lines in the road, You said you would love me until the world stopped spinning, Maybe that's exactly the reason why I'm drinking. Everything's going round... Something's gonna have to go down. The words just blur. I can't seem to speak The words just slur. I'm feeling weak. I want you here right now, I wish that I could hold you. I miss you now, I'm buzzin somehow.

another for the dumb...

Anger washes over me, why do people do the things they do? I hate stupid people, skip the bullshit and think about you. I can feel it coming, the blackout will soon be here. Hold me closer, Take away my fear. You calm my nerves, balance me out, Stop my urges, quiet my shouts, In Vain. You are the peace within me, Thoughts of you keep me happy, And sane.
I fell asleep thinking about you yesterday, I woke up to see your smile today. It doesn't feel right, that I can't take you from my mind. Why am I writing you poetry, it's not love, but blind. I wanna hold you and say That everything's gonna be okay. That's just a lie I can't afford, One more day, and I'm just bored.

Blagh...

Best Friends I sit upon my roof, And stare up to the stars. I glance toward the moon, And I see an old man cry. I sit upon my roof, Watching the headlights of cars That drive along the highway. I sing a somber tune Of the pain I felt today, As I listen to an old man cry. I sit upon my roof, Rubbing on my arm these old scars. And I stare up at the moon, With this man who is my friend. And will be with me til the end. And tonight, with this man, I cry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blue The sky is blue on good days of the week, Days when sitting around, laughing at clouds. Time withers slowly, as the day moves on. Happy with friends, the pictures we take. Time will live on, in the memories we make. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Distancing I see a dissonant look in your eyes. I question the words you say. Are tehy true or are they lies? Do you still feel the same way, Or are we Distancing? We are hardly ever, With each other, And so rarely are we Alone together. Is this a sign to see, That we are Distancing? I wish love wouldn't be this way, I wish it didn't have to hurt. I wish the fear would go away, And stop shoving me into the dirt, That makes us feel like Distancing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jessica DK Jessica Maison Down the Rabbit hole again, Wondering will it ever End. I see the events of my life thus far, More mistakes than acheivements there are. And as I hit the ground, stand and dust off. I turn my head and cough, To see my biggest mess. There we are, so Young and so dumb. There we were, so happy, so free. You were so beautiful, (I'd bet you still are.) But look I'm a moron, I just can't believe. Was that really me? Was that what I said? Oh God I'm sorry, If I could only do that again. I'd alter that future, because I still love you Jess. My apologies come to late, but you're still on my mind. (I still see every scar.) You were my first love, and if I could... I would. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Of Mine Have you ever just walked by, Somebody and thought my, What a lovely picture that would make. Or that's a chance that you should take. And of all the photo albums that I have The one that always makes me cry, The one that always makes me laugh, Is the one that always makes me sigh, Is the one with the photograph Of the life I love behind me, Wrapped inside me, Hearing my cries... The one with the pictures from my eyes. And looking through the memories I've made I remember all of yesterday. And somehow it makes it all go away, Somehow I see the sunlight fade. And it puts a silence to all the screams, Creating just for me nice dreams. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Midnight Prayer Close my eyes, slowly then open them. Fade to black, march onward into R.E.M. Mind locks up, then begin to dream. Endless terror, I begin to scream. And if I die before I wake, Please my lord my soul you'll take. Pray the nightmares go away, Because one more time and I won't wake, I pray my soul you take. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Peter Pan The World around me, Is moving so fast. Voices surround me, I never last. The child I remember, Lost in the dark. But I'll always remember, Those days in the park. Cloudless blue sky up so high, Itchy green grass at my feet. Back to the future, grown up I cry, Lay down in bed at night, I claim defeat. I don't wanna grow up, It's cost me so much. I'd rather stay young, When life was in touch. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best Friends I sit upon my roof, And stare up to the stars. I glance toward the moon, And I see an old man cry. I sit upon my roof, Watching the headlights of cars That drive along the highway. I sing a somber tune Of the pain I felt today, As I listen to an old man cry. I sit upon my roof, Rubbing on my arm these old scars. And I stare up at the moon, With this man who is my friend. And will be with me til the end. And tonight, with this man, I cry. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Blue The sky is blue on good days of the week, Days when sitting around, laughing at clouds. Time withers slowly, as the day moves on. Happy with friends, the pictures we take. Time will live on, in the memories we make. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Distancing I see a dissonant look in your eyes. I question the words you say. Are tehy true or are they lies? Do you still feel the same way, Or are we Distancing? We are hardly ever, With each other, And so rarely are we Alone together. Is this a sign to see, That we are Distancing? I wish love wouldn't be this way, I wish it didn't have to hurt. I wish the fear would go away, And stop shoving me into the dirt, That makes us feel like Distancing. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Jessica DK Jessica Maison Down the Rabbit hole again, Wondering will it ever End. I see the events of my life thus far, More mistakes than acheivements there are. And as I hit the ground, stand and dust off. I turn my head and cough, To see my biggest mess. There we are, so Young and so dumb. There we were, so happy, so free. You were so beautiful, (I'd bet you still are.) But look I'm a moron, I just can't believe. Was that really me? Was that what I said? Oh God I'm sorry, If I could only do that again. I'd alter that future, because I still love you Jess. My apologies come to late, but you're still on my mind. (I still see every scar.) You were my first love, and if I could... I would. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Of Mine Have you ever just walked by, Somebody and thought my, What a lovely picture that would make. Or that's a chance that you should take. And of all the photo albums that I have The one that always makes me cry, The one that always makes me laugh, Is the one that always makes me sigh, Is the one with the photograph Of the life I love behind me, Wrapped inside me, Hearing my cries... The one with the pictures from my eyes. And looking through the memories I've made I remember all of yesterday. And somehow it makes it all go away, Somehow I see the sunlight fade. And it puts a silence to all the screams, Creating just for me nice dreams. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Midnight Prayer Close my eyes, slowly then open them. Fade to black, march onward into R.E.M. Mind locks up, then begin to dream. Endless terror, I begin to scream. And if I die before I wake, Please my lord my soul you'll take. Pray the nightmares go away, Because one more time and I won't wake, I pray my soul you take. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Peter Pan The World around me, Is moving so fast. Voices surround me, I never last. The child I remember, Lost in the dark. But I'll always remember, Those days in the park. Cloudless blue sky up so high, Itchy green grass at my feet. Back to the future, grown up I cry, Lay down in bed at night, I claim defeat. I don't wanna grow up, It's cost me so much. I'd rather stay young, When life was in touch. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hurt myself today...

"Hurt" Lyrics by NIN "I hurt myself today To see if I still feel I focus on the pain The only thing that's real The needle tears a hole The old familiar sting Try to kill it all away But I remember everything [Chorus:] What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt I wear this crown of thorns Upon my liar's chair Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair Beneath the stains of time The feelings disappear You are someone else I am still right here [Chorus:] What have I become My sweetest friend Everyone I know goes away In the end And you could have it all My empire of dirt I will let you down I will make you hurt If I could start again A million miles away I would keep myself I would find a way" I cut today....I cut today becuz I can mostly... but also because I hurt all over and inside, and felt like I wasn't even alive anymore. A good trip gone bad, BUT!.... here's the kick... I was sober. The drugs have eaten my brain, and left some lint in it's place... That's just fine with me, I'm living in a soberdaze. ----------------------------------------------- I need to get more sleep... chyea right... like that's gonna happen anytime soon... In other news someone here has a crush on me... I wonder who it coul be... why because I'm bored and have no energy to do shit but go to school later and turn in my finals, because I crammed them all into a three night-all nighter....whooooooo... yea.something...something...
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