The Original T's blog: "The Machinist"

I haven't come here for forgiveness
I don't expect your sympathy
Some bridges burn beyond recognition
Some chances aren't meant to be

But in this life of quiet desperation
In my moments of timeless indecision
In the language between weeping and anger
Lies the soothing comfort of intimate strangers

I am naked here...in this room
I feel the spotlight I embrace its warmth
I share my scars...my open wounds
Driving my demons back into the dark

And in this life of quiet desperation
In my moments of timeless indecision
In the language between weeping and anger
Lies the soothing comfort of intimate strangers

Eyes close...light fades away...fades away
Night goes...hollow words we say...fade away

Just for a moment
Can we forget the past
Once taken for granted
Now I'm begging forgiveness at last

Can you even give me
One thing I ever did right
Come up with a memory
That didn't end up in a fight

Well I know you're a liar

Can you tell me once
You love me first
I'm caught in this desert
And dying of thirst

Do you expect me to
Believe this load of sh*t
I've had my fill
Now I'm done...done with it

I hear you selling
But I'm not buying no more
All these F*cking word games
I lay them at your door

Cuz you're a F*cking LIAR

Can't you see she rides like a dream
Long, black, obscene
Watching those tail lights fade away
Knowing she won't be back again

She's gone...gone
Gone...gone...gone...gone

The highway calls she must move on
No time for roots only songs
The road is endless as the sky
No time for regrets or wondering why

She's gone...gone
Gone...gone...gone...gone

Yesterday...Today...and tomorrow
Do your best to hide the sorrow
All these moments only borrowed

The pavement bears the siren's wail
An empty morning in a cheap hotel
The crack of dawn she packs her things
She can not feel the pain she brings

She's gone...gone
Gone...gone...gone...gone

She said "I wish I made you feel
The way you make me feel
I wish that you could see
What you do to me"

I said "I'm sorry that I'm broken
And all the words I spoke
If I could turn back time
Things would still be right"

But sometimes there's no words
No way to fix the hurt
No matter how hard you try
There's no easy way to say goodbye

So I gathered up my things
Gave her back the ring
And with a kiss on her face
I said "In my heart you will stay"

Cuz sometimes there's no words
No way to fix the hurt
No matter how hard you try
There's no easy way to say goodbye

I smell the rain...and with it the teardrops start
From the pain...no sense chasing your heart
You're gone...and it's easier not knowing why
I'm here...and lonely's the best part of my night

Won't you see I ain't forgotten
And in this bottle there is no bottom
If you could hear the words I've been missing
You would know why I'm numb

I heard your name...God knows how hard I try
To place the blame...But the truth is it's all in my mind
You're gone...and it's easier not knowing why
I see your face...everytime I close my eyes

Won't you see I ain't forgotten
And in this bottle there is no bottom
If you could hear the words I've been missing
You would know why I'm numb

It's been years...and I wonder when it will end
All these fears...I'm broken but I never bent
You're gone...and it's easier not knowing why
I'm here...and lonely's the best part of my night

I can taste the cotton candy
Hot and sweet on the tip of your tongue
If I trip I know you'll catch me
Stumblin' weightless the road goes on and on

Just a moment I'm feeling dizzy
Drunken sober I can't tell what's down
Head is spinning hurry kiss me
All the pretty horses round and round

Don't want to get off this Merry Go Round

My cheeks are sore from all the smiling
A happy heart and pocket full of songs
It's been so long since I felt like laughing
Thank you Love the clouds are almost gone

Don't want to get off this Merry Go Round

Got my ticket and I'm not stopping
For a minute pretend we're flying
Round we go on this Merry Go Round
On this Merry Go Round

I haven't come here for forgiveness
I don't expect your sympathy
This scarred up, burnt out, hollow heart
Came from letting the walls come down
Every shattered fiber
Every aching bone
Came from a turned back
When I left this fractured home

I feel like the walking dead
A comatose heart
Somewhere between a nightmare and a wetdream
Memories in black and white
I can see the love
I can hold it in these broken hands
My heart won't wake up
My head won't let go
The motions of emotion
Slowly the machine takes control
Pretender
Sell the idea of caring and concern
Wrapping emptiness with a big bow
Someday
One day
Maybe life will return
Catch my breathe
Let someone inside this burnt out shell
Until then keep your distance
Stay an intimate stranger