son of sid's blog: "The cook book"

created on 10/13/2006 | http://fubar.com/the-cook-book/b13418

posted on 10/20/2008&nbs-07:00;@&nbs-07:00;12:10&nbs-07:00;am

The INFAMOUS BUNNY
http://fubar.com/the-infamous-bunny/b13418-900609

The infamous bunny cup story
CHAPTER 1 ENTER THE DRA….er mean ENTER THE BUNNY

Along long time ago I was married to a jealous woman, but I did not know how sneaky she was until the incidents that lead up to the BUNNY CUP AFFAIR, but in order to give you, my faithful readers the full story we need to start way back when I was still in high school.

When I was in high school my parents and sister were involved with Job's Daughters. Every year each bethel (chapter) would elect their leader called the honor queen. When an honor queen comes to office it is a big ceremony that is EXTREAMLY BORING and takes hours. Some how, I do not remember how I got conned into being an usher for Nessa's Honor queen ceremony. Nessa was an ok friend and also rather pleasing to look at. So I agreed to usher people by helping them to their seats and then sit through HOURS of TORCHER as people who I already know get introduced repeatidly over and over again. If you are or have ever been a Jobie then you know what I am talking about and no amount of describing the ceremony will accurately describe the hell that this ceremony is.

It is tradition that the honor queen give a gift to everyone that helps her with this ceremony so she presented us with these BUNNY CUPS. WHAT?!?!? WHAT A JIP I just sat through hell bored to tears and all I get for being quiet and sitting still for 3 hours is a BUNNY CUP!?!?! Little did I know that this little bunny cup was the GOLDEN key to one of the BEST jokes I ever pulled….. Well maybe not the best joke, but it is defiantly in the top 5.

I graciously accepted the bunny cup and sat through another hour or two of listening to the most incredibly dull ceremony on the planet being performed by young girls (I was young then too) wearing white togas!

After the ceremony was over Nesa realized that she had over bought bunny cups by two cases. So she gives her extra cups to my parents.

Chapter 2
GREEN EYED MONSTER LOOSES TO THE ALL POWERFUL BUNNY CUP!!
Or
IS IT REAL OR IS IT MEMOREX

Four or Five years later I find myself in love with a girl named Chris so being in love I moved her into my place so that sex could be more convenient. One of the things that Chris TRULY LOVED was coffee. This girl drank coffee 24/7 and her favorite cup was the bunny cup that Nesa had given to me years before. So one day we were sitting around doing nothing really just hanging out and enjoying each others company when she tells me how pretty the bunny cup is. I causally mention that Nesa had given it to me. The conversation immediately turned to how much Chris hated Nesa and what a mean horrible vial person Nesa was.

That was not how I remember Nesa I always thought Nesa was a sweet girl and very pretty to boot... Chris could see that she was not going to sway my opinion of my friend so she dropped the conversation and we went on with our day. It did not take me long to forget about the conversation and our lives progressed normally for the next couple of day then one day it happened.

One day I came home from work and went to take the garbage out when I saw sitting on top of all the garbage was the broken remains of MY bunny cup. The only thought that went through my naive head was "awww the bunny cup got broken. That's too bad as it is Chris's favorite cup." It did not occure to me at that point that Chris may have lost a battle with the green eyed monster and in a fit of jealosy she may have broken a cup that was a gift from a girl that she hated!

Well guys guess what! My parents had TWO cases of these cups that Nesa had given to them so here was a problem that was easily fixed! So I took out the garbage went to visit my parents and while I was there I picked up a bunny cup and took it home and put it in the cupboard. The next day Chris goes to get a cup of coffee and there it was the bunny cup that she thought she had broken. I was watching her as she made the discovery and all she did was give it a funny look and then poured coffee in it. We went about our lives for a week or two. When one day I found the 2nd bunny cup broken!

Now, I may be naive enough to think she accidentally broke it once, but I am not so stupid as to think she could have broken in twice. So I think to my self "THAT BITCH!!! is doing this on purpose!!! Well, we will show her!!!" You know what I did? Yes, you guessed it I visited my parents and replaced the bunny cup!

The next day Chris goes to make her coffee looks into the cupboard, picks up the bunny cup looks at me with a questioning look and says "I thought I broke this."

Looking Chris strait in the eye I say "Well, you obviously didn't cause your holding it in your hand."
Chris says "Yeah… HUH?."

She did not drink coffee from the bunny cup and the very next day I find the bunny cup is not only broken in garbage, but this time it is in a million little pieces, it looked like she put it in the trash and then hit it with something making sure that it was broken this time. I take out the trash like I normally do, but I did not replace the bunny cup. Nope that would have clued her into something was happening. No I waited two months then replaced it. When I did I made sure to put the cup in the very back of the cupboard so that it would not be obvious.

A couple of weeks after I put the 3rd cup into cupboard Chris discovers it in the back of the cupboard. She picks it up looks at me and says "I have been having the weirdest dream about this cup."

I give her the your weird look and say "Why would you dream about the bunny cup?"
She says "I don't know"

so I say "well what are you dreaming?"

She says I keep dreaming that I broke the bunny cup."

I said "that is weird and you know that if that cup got broken I would be upset because my friend gave it to me"

She replied "I know"

After hearing her acknowledging that she knows I would be up set if the bunny cup got broken. I descided I am going to let this thing go on until either she commits herself to the nut hut or I run out of bunny cups which ever comes 1st.

I must hand it to her. This 3rd bunny cup lasted quite a while, but one day about three months later I noticed that it was no longer in the cupboard and I could not find it anywhere. So of course I went to visit my parents because I had not seen them in 3 months or so..... and I needed a new bunny cup. While I was at my parents house my mom invited Chris and I over for dinner that week end. I accepted the inventation and went home to replace the bunny cup.

This time when Chris discovered the bunny cup, she looked at me and said "Did I tell you I keep dreaming I broke this cup?"
I said "no? Why would you tell me something like that?"

She said "because I keep dreaming I break this thing and everytime I am sure it is gone it comes back! This dream feels so real I could swear it really happend !!!!!!"

I said "Really? The dream is that vivid? Your right that is bizzare, but kind of cool that it feels so real that you think it actually happend!"

We went on with our lives until that weekend that is.

CHAPTER 3
CHRIS COMMITS A MAJOR FOOPA!!
or
Trey gets busted

Let me tell you a little more about my parents. I talked about them in the cookbook blog. My mother LOVED to have company for dinner. She prided herself on being an excellent host. My parents do not drink coffee, so when their coffee maker broke down they never bothered to buy a new one, but my mom knew that Chris was a big coffee drinker so My mom, bless her little heart went to the store, bought a coffee maker and all the fixings for flavored coffee so that Chris would have something she enjoyed to drink at the dinner table. Another thing you should know about eating with my parents is you never EVER cuss at the dinner table and if you are female you NEVER CUSS PERIOD!!

So there we were eating dinner having some real nice conversation when I happen to look over at Chris as she takes a sip of her coffee. Do you know what cup she was drinking from? You guessed it. IT WAS A BUNNY CUP! Like I said my parents do not drink coffee so the only coffee cups in the house were bunny cups.

All of a sudden Chris stops drinking looks at the cup, looks at me and then looks back at the cup as the last six months or so start clicking into place in her head and she realizes what I have been doing to her. She looks at me and says in tone that can only be discribed as thoughtfull disbelief "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

My mom gasped, my whole family was absolutely shocked that this sweet and extremely petite girl would say something so AWFUL at THIER dinner table. So Chris is glaring at me and the rest of my family is sitting in shocked silence. So to break the silence I start explaining to my mom that Chris suffers from terretts. Chris is not yelling, but she is being very forceful with her tone and says "I do not have Terretts. You Know EXACTLY what you did!!"

My dad very calmly ask Chris what I did so Chris starts explaining the last 6 months of breaking the bunny cup and how it kept reappearing. My dad stats laughing looks at me and says "Oh son, shame on you!!! That was not a very nice thing to do, but my god it sure is funny"

I spent a lot of time in the dog house, but eventually Chris forgave me completely. In fact we were married later that year.
One day after we were married out of the blue and for no apparently reason Chris walked up to me and asked me if I was rearranging her closet?

I said "No"

She said "No REALLY are you rearranging my closet?"

I said "Really I am not rearranging your closet"

She said "OK"
Friends I swear until she asked me if I was rearranging her closet I really and truely had not been doing it!
As for my activities after she asked me about her closet..... Well, I am using my 5th admendment right to not testify against myself.
I wonder sometimes why she divorced me!

Report as NSFW [?]

245 views 0 comments view comments