I am going to set the record straight, once and for all, on the differences between the Sox fan and the Cub fan. I know there are some of you that keep saying, “Oh, they’re both Chicago teams, we should root for Chicago, not one or the other.” Ah, sure, ok so now we’re going to be like New York, where they only root for the winning team? I think not. If the White Sox are losing, and the Cubs are winning, I will not start rooting for the Cubs. I would rather jump into Lake Michigan in the winter and swim naked before I ever start rooting for the Cubs. The only time that would actually happen is if the Cubs are playing against the Yankees, the only other team I hate more than the Cubs. Anyway, lets start going over the differences, shall we. First off, when Sox fans are at a baseball game, they watch the baseball game. They may take a time out to get a beer or peanuts or whatever, but Sox fans are focused on watching the game. They do not talk to the person sitting next to them, or the people in front of them, or in back of them. Their priority is the game. Now, when Cub fans are at a ballgame, it’s like social hour! Almost everyone in the stands are talking to their neighbors, drunken college guys are hitting on all the women there, and no one knows what the score is. Also, Cub fans have a tendency to lighten up the stands by tossing a beach ball around. Now, if that happens at a Sox game, that beach ball will either get stolen on purpose so the stupidity will stop, or it will get destroyed on purpose for the same reason. Either way, the person that would have brought it will get his ass beat down. It is a baseball game, not a rock concert or the beach. Also, Sox fans will not throw the opposing team’s home run ball back to the field. Those Cub fans in the bleachers literally made it into a tradition by throwing back the opposing team’s home run ball, like as though that will actually help them win. Sox fans will not ever do that, if someone does, they’re not a true Sox fan. At least if someone is going to throw the ball back, dowse some gasoline on it and light it up and throw it back onto the field for true South Side fashion, or even cut the ball in half and throw the pieces onto the field. Another thing, Sox fans appreciate good baseball, and if the White Sox are not playing good, the fans will yell and cuss at them while throwing things at the manager. If the Cubs are losing, Cub fans don’t seem to care much because they’re not paying attention enough to the game! Like I said, it’s like social hour there. I mean, a little league team can be playing and no one would even notice. Also, Sox fans know their team. They know the starting lineup, they know who the coaches are, and they know the bullpen very well. A Sox fan will tell you the stars on the team, and even most of the stats of all the players. Now, if you even ask a Cub fan about any of the players on the team, most likely they’ll look at you like a deer staring at oncoming headlights. If you ask them about any of the stars on the team, their answer will most likely be, “Umm…Sammy Sosa?” Well, that would be correct, if it was, say, 2003! Nowadays, there are not too many knowledgeable Cub fans anymore, considering that it’s almost kind of being in vogue to be a Cub fan. Honestly, you’ll be lucky to find anyone at a Cubs game that actually likes baseball! “Cubs game, oh, I’m only here for the beer.” Over the last fifteen to twenty years, Wrigley Field has been transformed from an abandoned ballpark to a beer garden to the nearby colleges and the Lakeview area becoming more of a tourist hangout. Most people that go to Cub games usually hit every bar in the area surrounding Wrigley Field and then go to the game as though they are hitting the biggest bar. Along with the stadium becoming an historical landmark being it is almost one hundred years old, Wrigley Field now greets many foreigners from all over the world. Now, most Cub fans seem to say in defense that Wrigley Field has more and better looking women at the games. I don’t think that is true, I would say both have the same number of beautiful women at the games, but at least at a Sox game, those beautiful know their team from top to bottom! If you happen to ask any of the beautiful women at a Cubs game about the Cubs, again, they will stare at you like a deer staring at headlights. Only at a Sox game you will actually see a bleach blonde girl knowing her team from the inside out. However, try hitting on her after the game, because during the game she’s going to say, “Shut up, I’m trying to watch the game.”
