clever name here's blog: "The deviants random thoughts"

Well here I am. Bored to tears, tired of crying. Yes I hae been crying, yes I have had a war going inside of my head. I hate losing friendships that mean the world to me. I hate being the bigger person every single time. Why do I do this to myself? Why do I always get myself in these situations? I know I am kind, loving and sweet. Maybe I should change all that. Maybe I should be the one who refuses to change or maybe I should just isolate myself from the world around me and have no contact with anyone. Yes that would leave me in a solitary state, but what are my other options here. I have lost my best friend, I only knew you for a few months but you are the only person I know that undrstands my way of thinking, my frame of mind. You never judged me, To top it off, I lost another friend in the process. I will find more friends, but none like you. I wish everyone could understand what this is doing to me, what its done to you. But until something changes I guess its got to be this way.