Georgia Peaches's blog: "Poems"

The Box

I opened the box I hid your letters in, strange how reading aged words sparks so much memory. You spoke of a dark place, where you where alone all the time, sad and full of the kind of hate no one else gets except for you. I know you felt alienated and like everyone including your parents hated you. I always loved you, you where cared for even when I spoke nothing, even when I didn't write back. Part of me hated you, I enjoyed your pain. Now you knew how I felt. I am sorry I was so selfish, that I didn't care for you like I had always promised. You say no one there talks to you, and that they have their own issues to deal with. We all want everyone to care about our issues, you are stronger than me for letting them be, for living alone with your sadness. Your out now, and it has been over a year, to be fully honest sometimes I wonder if by leaving you, I set you down the road you left on, you always said I made you stronger and gave you hope. I let you go, to the wolves and the bears and to the kids in all black who gave you happiness in a pill or a bowel or a bottle. If it counts for anything I smoke a lot of cigs now, i am not as strong as you thought I was then I suppose. We smoke a lot now, behind the mini mart during photo class, stupid as it may be these times mean a lot to me, he's still my best friend at this point and we are graduating. I always wonder if we hadn't split if we'd be happy now, but life doesn't work that way does it. You used to tell me that we are all just fucked up and it varies in sereneness, I agreed with you then i would just never admit it, you should see the things I think about doing. This is your last year and I am out now, it is how I wanted it to be, except I need to grow up now, I need to move on, move away, move out and move forward in life. I guess I am terrified, I always was loud and care free, but I am insecure and lonely now, my room is pretty damn dark, and I never do the things I want to. I love you friend, I hope your life is beautiful, and I hope I can get past this stagnant place I am at. and you a pretty girl three hours away, tomorrow I get to meet God.

Looks hopeful