Over 16,530,773 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?
|
The Italian Lover Giuseppe was relaxing at his favorite bar in Rome, when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. |
Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless.
After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No."
Surprised, Giuseppe reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Giuseppe smiled and asked, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, No."
Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Giuseppe reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Giuseppe fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, "You finish?"
Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, "No, I Danish."
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions...
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats..
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
THE 5 ANSWERS WE HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!
>
>
> Q: WHAT ARE THE SMALL BUMPS AROUND A WOMAN'S NIPPLES FOR?
> A: It's Braille for 'suck here'.
>
>
> Q: WHAT IS AN AUSTRALIAN KISS?
> A: It's the same as a French kiss, but 'down under.'
>
>
>
> Q: WHAT DO YOU DO WITH 365 USED CONDOMS?
> A: Melt them down, make a tire, and call it a Goodyear.
>
>
>
> Q: WHY WERE HURRICANES NORMALLY NAMED AFTER WOMEN?
> A: Because when they come, they're wild and wet. But when they go,
> they take your house and car with them.
>
>
> Q: WHY DO GIRLS RUB THEIR EYES WHEN THEY GET UP IN THE MORNING ?
> A: Because they don't have any balls to scratch...
