TwoOx's blog: "Teamac"

xxx This blog not written by me... by http://fubar.com/user/977886... what's it about? Emotional confusion, Living this illusion, My hands are tied, my arms are bleeding, Begging, pleading, wanting, needing. But still I will bend for you, Never want to end for you. The deepness of emotional ending, Wanting more but still pretending. I still want to break for you, For all the shit i've put you through, For all the things you'll never do, I cover the cuts,it still bleeds through. And I'd give it all away for you, I'm begging it to stay for you, For all the things I'll never do, I cover hurt, it still bleeds through. I cover up my battered truth, I'm a waste of life,a waste of youth. Sometimes I feel I am of no use, I'm hanging by my pretty noose, Wanting to be good for you, Wishing that i could for you, I'm doing all you want me to. I cover pain, it still bleeds through.

Creamy Grits with Shrimp Recipe 1 pound large raw shrimp, peeled and deveined* 1 cup heavy cream 2 cups water 1 1/2 cups hot stock (shrimp, chicken, or vegetable) 1/4 cup butter Salt and black pepper to taste 1 cup stone-ground grits** 3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice Salt and black pepper to taste 6 bacon slices 2 tablespoons finely chopped onion 1 clove garlic, minced 2 tablespoons finely chopped green or red bell pepper * Add add flavor, place the shells of the shrimp in a saucepan and cover with water. Simmer over low heat approximately 7 to 10 minutes. Remove from heat and strain the broth, discarding shells. Add shrimp broth to hot stock. ** If using quick-cooking grits (not instant, reduce cream to 1/2 cup and reduce stock to 1 cup. In a large saucepan over medium-high heat, combine cream water, and hot stock; bring to a gentle boil. Add butter salt, and pepper. Slowly add grits, stirring constantly (so that the grits do not settle to the bottom and scorch), until all are added; reduce heat to medium-low. Cook for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally (be careful not to scorch mixture), or until the grits are tender. NOTE: Grits should have absorbed all of the liquid and become soft and should have the same consistency as oatmeal (moist, not dry). If the grits become too thick, add warm stock or water to thin. remove from heat. Sprinkle shrimp with lemon juice, salt, and pepper; set aside. In a large frying pan over medium-high heat, cook bacon until brown but not crisp. Remove from heat and pat dry with paper towels; set aside. Coarsely chop bacon when cool. Reserve 4 tablespoons bacon grease in the frying pan. Add onion, garlic, and green or red bell pepper; saute 10 minutes or until the onion is transparent. Add shrimp mixture and bacon; saute 5 to 7 minutes or until shrimp are opaque in center (cut to test). Remove from heat. To serve, spoon hot grits onto individual serving plates and top with shrimp mixture. Makes 4 servings.

97 Eskimo Words for Snow tlapa powder snow tlacringit snow that is crusted on the surface kayi drifting snow tlapat still snow klin remembered snow naklin forgotten snow tlamo snow that falls in large wet flakes tlatim snow that falls in small flakes tlaslo snow that falls slowly tlapinti snow that falls quickly kripya snow that has melted and refrozen tliyel snow that has been marked by wolves tliyelin snow that has been marked by Eskimos blotla blowing snow pactla snow that has been packed down hiryla snow in beards wa-ter melted snow tlayinq snow mixed with mud quinaya snow mixed with Husky shit quinyaya snow mixed with the shit of a lead dog slimtla snow that is crusted on top but soft underneath kriplyana snow that looks blue in the early morning puntla a mouthful of snow because you fibbed allatla baked snow fritla fried snow gristla deep fried snow MacTla snow burgers jatla snow between your fingers or toes, or in groin-folds dinliltla little balls of snow that cling to Husky fur sulitlana green snow mentlana pink snow tidtla snow used for cleaning ertla snow used by Eskimo teenagers for exquisite erotic rituals kriyantli snow bricks hahatla small packages of snow given as gag gifts semtla partially melted snow ontla snow on objects intla snow that has drifted indoors shlim slush warintla snow used to make Eskimo daiquiris mextla snow used to make Eskimo Margaritas penstla the idea of snow mortla snow mounded on dead bodies ylaipi tomorrow's snow nylaipin the snows of yesteryear ("neiges d'antan") pritla our children's snow nootlin snow that doesn't stick rotlana quickly accumulating snow skriniya snow that never reaches the ground bluwid snow that's shaken down from objects in the wind tlanid snow that's shaken down and then mixes with sky-falling snow ever-tla a spirit made from mashed fermented snow, popular among Eskimo men talini snow angels priyakli snow that looks like it's falling upward chiup snow that makes halos blontla snow that's shaken off in the mudroom tlalman snow sold to German tourists tlalam snow sold to American tourists tlanip snow sold to Japanese tourists protla snow packed around caribou meat attla snow that as it falls seems to create nice pictures in the air sotla snow sparkling with sunlight tlun snow sparkling with moonlight astrila snow sparkling with starlight clim snow sparkling with flashlight or headlight tlapi summer snow krikaya snow mixed with breath ashtla expected snow that's wagered on (depth, size of flakes) huantla special snow rolled into "snow reefers" and smoked by wild Eskimo youth tla-na-na snow mixed with the sound of old rock and roll from a portable radio depptla a small snowball, preserved in Lucite, that had been handled by Johnny Depp trinkyi first snow of the year tronkyin last snow of the year shiya snow at dawn katiyana night snow tlinro snow vapor nyik snow with flakes of widely varying size ragnitla two snowfalls at once, creating moire patterns akitla snow falling on water privtla snow melting in the spring rain chahatlin snow that makes a sizzling sound as it falls on water hootlin snow that makes a hissing sound as the individual flakes brush geltla snow dollars briktla good building snow striktla snow that's no good for building erolinyat snow drifts containing the imprint of crazy lovers chachat swirling snow that drives you nuts krotla snow that blinds you tlarin snow that can be sculpted into the delicate corsages Eskimo girls pin to their whale parkas at prom time motla snow in the mouth sotla snow in the south maxtla snow that hides the whole village tlayopi snow drifts you fall into and die truyi avalanche of snow tlapripta snow that burns your scalp and eyelids carpitla snow glazed with ice tla ordinary snow

... That night he dreamt of horses in a field on a high plain where the spring rains had brought up the grass and the wild-flowers out of the ground and the flowers ran all blue and yellow far as the eye could see and in the dream he was among the horses running and in the dream he himself could run with the horses and they coursed the young mares and fillies over the plain where their rich bay and chesnut colors shone in the sun and the young colts ran with their dams and trampled down the flowers in a haze of pollen that hung in the sun like powdered gold and they ran he and the horses out along the high mesas where the ground resounded under their running hooves and they flowed and changed and ran and their manes and tails blew off of them like spume and there was nothing else at all in that high world and they moved all of them in a resonance that was like a music among them and they were none of them afraid horse nor colt nor mare and they ran in that resonance which is the world itself and which cannot be spoken but only praised... (McCarthy 1992:161).

...He said that those who have endured some misfortune will always be set apart but that it is just that misfortune which is their gift and which is their strength and that they must make their way back into the common enterprise of man for without they do so it cannot go forward and they themselves will wither in bitterness... [though] If one were to be a person of value, that value could not be a condition subject to the hazards of fortune. It had to be a quality that could not change. No matter what. Long before morning I knew that what I was seeking to discover was a thing I'd always known. That all courage was a form of constancy. That it was always himself that the coward abandoned first. After this all other betrayals came easily... I knew that courage came with less struggle for some than for others but I believed that anyone who desired it could have it. That the desire was the thing itself. The thing itself. I could think of nothing else of which that was true (McCarthy 1992: 235).

... Es bonita, su novia? they asked, and he told them that she was very beautiful, and that she had blue eyes which they could scarcely believe but he told them also that her father was a rich hacendado while he himself was very poor and they heard this in silence and were greatly cast down at his prospects. The older of the girls said that if his novia truly loved him she would marry him no matter what but the boy was not so encouraging and he said that even in families of the rich a girl could not go against the wishes of her father. The girl said that the grandmother must be consulted because she was very important in these matters and that he must take her presents and try to win her to his side for without her help little could be expected. She said all the world knew this to be true (McCarthy 1992:243).

... He counted in his heart the hours until the train would come again from the south which when it pulled out of Torreon would either take her or would not take her and he told her that if she would trust her life into his care he would never fail her or abandon her and that he would love her until he died and she said that she believed him (McCarthy 1992:253).

10-14-07. drove over to Immokalee to see Lake Trafford, a large lake a few miles west of Immokalee. I found it to be a cool-looking lake with a homey marina store, boat ramp, and picnicking area. Remnants from a prehistoric canoe, possibly several thousand years old had been found in the muck near the boat ramp a week or so ago. Archaeologists from Tampa were called down to take wood samples for radio carbon dating. Then I was curious about the Ave Maria University, reported to be a new concept in religious fundamentalism where 10,000 dwellings, shops, etc would become present , built around an architecturally monumental church, a religious-right university dedicated to fundamentals of Christianity, or something like that. Unable to locate the place right off, I found the local casino and decided to have lunch there. I have to say Immokalee is a roadside attraction in its own right; closer to my perception of a “thrid world” town, like one I’ve seen in old Mexico during the 70s… faded and run-down but colorful buildings of block and concrete, or wood adding an eerie cheerfulness to the squalor there – mostly stores in downtown, many boarded up and closed, many poor and unemployed souls on the streets, all of color. As I entered the Seminole Casino I was assaulted by the same thick cloud of cigarette smoke and slot machine chimes I find when I go in Indian casinos in northern New Mexico. The same frenzy of aging wives with white-butted cigarettes stuck to smears of red lipstick, and the smells of burning nicotine and Belk’s perfume. Unpon inquiry, the nice hostess kindly gave me directions to Ave Maria adding “you’ll know you’re there when it looks like you’re entering the gates to Heaven. “ I had read that Ave Maria University was the brain-child and creation of one of the fast food gigillionaires, planned to be a community of Biblical fundamentalist (literalist-- they interpret the Bible literally and live by that interpretation. The interpretation is often different than other fundamentalists' interpretations. Much is left to the imagination, little to science). families who buy into the community. Housing development tracks by Del Webb and other high-end retiree-oriented developers. Wonder if they need an archaeology survey? Hummmmm. Ave Maria I found still under construction, but much of it completed—enough to see the highly marketable and popular “Town Center” design in plan. The massive up trending hewn limestone stone and steel church, capped with a gold embossed cross, is surrounded by a trendy two and three-story townhouse architecture of what looks like both residential and business use. Trending townhosues for upscale college students in upscale fundamentalist training. I place to nlive and practice post-graduately. No one was there yet. The neatly bricked streets were empty and the clean white curbs lacked the darkened blemish of tire-rub. Pictures of Ave Maria U are in my photo album entitled 10-14-07. While captions do not identify the pictures as such, you'll know you're looking at the right ones by the feeling you get of "entering the gates of heaven" when you see them.

Iw walked into a bar awhile ago, and on my third beer became engaged in conversation with a man of my own middle age who insisted I jostle with him on the subject of borders and the entry of "foreigners" into this country of ours. My usual first response to dialogues of this type is "well it's all George Bush's fault" which held little weight with the conversation wince the man quickly agreed, qualifying his agreement by disavowing all republicans and democrats, and quickly including Bill Clinton in the forum of despised ones at fault. I then resorted to the Jesus cliche, that Iwhile not an overt Christian, I believed in the principals of Jesus who loved and accepted all... the Mary's the young, poor, etc. This was not enough to stop the gentleman who suggested that I would give away my family's security and culture by acceptance of all. I thought and then said I have no family except that of the all, the one. He rattled on about "he who wins the vote owns the country<" and I couldn't help but get a jab in r3egarding the last "election" theft where fundamentalist christians "won"the election. To which he agreed, comparing them to Taliban, to which I agree. Was quite nice, that conversation.