Just some random stuff:

I suffer from dyslexic paranoia, which means I have this strange feeling that I'm following someone. If I was an Olympic diver, my final attempt would be a cannonball. I share a split personality with a ninja. Life is at its greatest when you can use a direct movie quote in an everyday conversation. I use chopsticks to eat cheerios. When people walk into a room, I act asleep. I might have a personality disorder. I like to act like I use words like postprandial, antepenultimate, and sesquipedelian. I eat through the pain. I once duct taped a girl to my wall. I don't eat Cheetos because they leave orange residue on my fingers. I love it when a plan comes together. I love to gargle mouthwash. I have a stride of three feet six and three quarter inches, while wearing shorts; three feet and two inches with the restriction of jeans. I hate Halloween. I only eat the cherry and blue rasberry Jolly Ranchers. I believe in conspiracy theories.


I pronounce 'pamphlet' correctly. I think zebras are white with black stripes, not black with white stripes. I can properly execute a zerbert. I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. I like to swim in the dark. I know karate, kung fu, and six other dangerous words. I am in love with the 80s. I'm a land farmer. I'm a little obsessive compulsive. I've won medals for giving wedgies. I prank call people. I don't want to learn a foreign language, but I would like to learn a foreign accent. I own a pocket dictionary just in case of a word emergency. I like Geico, Citi and Super Bowl commercials. I wish I had a Jessica Simpsons hair and tits. I don't like chickens. I'm going to start the new A-Team. I like cookie dough better than cookies. I'm too sexy for my shirt, but I wear it anyway. I would share my Trix with the rabbit. I need more cowbell. I take the time to pick up loose change. I use internet lingo like brb, lol, or lmao even though it's queer. I now live on my own, and I sleep just as much on the couch as I do the bed. I like to think I'm a ping-pong professional. I rescue turtles from the side of the road. I am ambidextrous.