Red Queen of Broken Hearts's blog: "Tale of the broken heart"

I gather the pieces to my heart.. trying to put them back in place.. 

no glue will hold them together.. 

I put my heart back in it's room, lock the door, throw the bolt.. 

but my back to the door.. crying... 

all I can feel is pain and loss... 

I don't think I can do this again.. 

Your indiffernce is a knife that has invaded my heart... 

My emotional blood spilling forth.. 

Leaving my heart empty and filling up with cold.. 

The beating slows as first frost, then ice forms upon it.. 

Making me wish I had left my heart locked in it's room.

Poisonous Silence

The poison of your silence courses through my veins... 

Making me sick in body as well as spirit... 

I feel it raging and burning thru me...

Wondering if it will kill me...

And almost hoping it does... 

I stand straight, bracing myself I open the door.  Letting my heart out for the first time in years.  It takes off,  beating happily and strong.  I chase it and slow it down.  Can't run away just yet I tell it quietly.  Take it slow and easy.  Just enjoy being out and feeling again... 

The heart inside begins to truly beat... slowly at first then a little faster... the scars seemed to have healed... I turn the bolt.. I put the key in the lock and turn it... the heart begins to be faster.. wanting to be let out.. fear and joy at struggle inside me... feelings.. true emotions flood me for the first time since the devastation... I stand before the door.. my hand on the handle of the newly unlocked door... both wanting to open it and wanting to relock it.. the heart beats strong and fast... begging to be let out... do I dare?

I stand outside the door of the room where I have kept my heart since the devastation.  Key in my hand a stare at the door,  dare I open it?  Risk devastation again?  I lower myself to look thru the keyhole and peek thru it, I can see the scars.  Remnants of the pain.  Permanant damage I wonder?  I straighten and look at the door, the bolt, the lock.  I turn and lean my back against the door and close my eyes.  Thinking of the defenses I have spent years building.  Hiding behind physicality and dispensing with emotion.  At war within myself, desire and rationality at odds.  Should I do it, try to love again?  I turn put my hand on the bolt, the key in the lock and pause.