A time comes in your life when you finally get it... When in the
midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and
somewhere the voice inside your head cries out - ENOUGH!
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle
of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening. You realize that it's time to stop hoping and
waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and
security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms
with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella
and that in the real world there aren't always fairy tale endings (or
beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily
ever after" must begin with you and in the process a sense of serenity
is born of acceptance.
You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will
always love, appreciate or approve of who or what you are ... and that's OK.
(They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the
importance of loving and championing yourself and in the process a sense
of new found confidence is born of self-approval.
You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did
to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can
really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say
what they mean or mean what they say and that not everyone will always be
there for you and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on
your own and to take care of yourself and in the process a sense of safety &
security is born of self-reliance.
You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as
they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties and in
the process a sense of peace & contentment is born of forgiveness. You
realize that much of the way you view yourself, and the world around you, is
as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your
psyche.
And you begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you
Should behave, how you should look and how much you should weigh
and what you should wear and where you should shop and what you should
drive how and where you should live and what you should do for a living who you
should sleep with who you should marry and what you should expect of a marriage,
the importance of having and raising children or what you owe your parents.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you
begin reassessing and redefining who you are what you really stand for.
You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to
discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into
to begin with and in the process you learn to go with your instincts.
You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive. And that there is power and glory
in creating and contributing and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a
"consumer" looking for your next fix.
You learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals
of a by gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you
must build a life.
You learn that you don't know everything, it's not your job to save the world
and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and
responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to say NO.
You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs
get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. Romantic love and familial love. How to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project
your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be,
more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on
your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they
really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people,
situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with
love.... and you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms ... just to make you happy
And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely... And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with
the image inside your head and agonizing over how you "stack up."
You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly okay…and that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want…and that sometimes it's necessary to make demands.
You come to the realization that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you won't settle for less. And you only allow the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with their touch... and in the process you internalize the meaning of self respect.
And you learn that your body is a temple. You begin to care
for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.
You learn that for the most part, in life you get what you believe you deserve ... and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth
working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen.
More importantly, you learn that in order to
achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also
learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for
help.
You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the
Great robber baron of all time. FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and
Through your fears because you know that whatever happens you
can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life
on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it
living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always
fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes bad
things happen to unsuspecting, good people. On these occasions you learn not
to personalize things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to
answer your prayers. It's just life happening.
And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state-the ego. You
learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and
resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life
out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit
when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the
Simple things we take for granted, things that millions of
people upon the earth can only dream about; a full refrigerator, clean
running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by
Yourself and you to make yourself a promise to never betray
yourself and to never ever to settle for less than your heart's desire. And
you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And
you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to
every wonderful possibility.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with
God by your side you take a stand, you take a deep breath and you begin to
design the life you want to live as best as you can.
