xLx's blog: "Surviving"

Some choices are hard

not to make, but

to live with.

My head is pounding away at this moment

and being focused is a real - well you know.

Another poet spoke of "Survivors" and

did it in a way that I began to freefall -

it isn't right for me to do that

within another's space

so I came here - my own blank page.

and

see

people, places, things...

embedded in this white spac

leaking out in all the colors of a rainbow.

We live our lives making

choices

conscious or not

knowingly or not

willfully or not.

Lots of nots - and knots

we get left with - inside

to look back on 

to dream of with open eyes

as we sit staring at a white page

filled with all the colors of a rainbow

leaking people, places, things -

we knew, or left, or wished, or touched,

or ever had or never had

or never will.

and it's not always with regret

that the eyes mist up -

some choices you have to make

you HAVE to make just the way

you did...because you loved someone

more than they knew or believed

and letting them go, or letting go

was the ONLY way they could live...

survive..be

I can cry just because I knew you -

it's allowed ... and I can miss you...

and I can love you today

as much as all the yesterdays

and I'd still let you go...

because I had to - HAD to,

not wanted to...and you survived,

awesomely, and me - well

I still walk as ever

filling lots of white pages

with the colors of rainbows

leaking from the tears inside.