A good friend helped me realize....
...that i am a very strange friend. very few understand the real me. very few know why i act the way i do- why i can be so distant at times. why i hide from the world and depend on a select few to shed light on the ambiguous thoughts my mind dances with. very few know that i am often sad, lonely, and forgotten.
....that life never goes as planned. love comes and goes, people come and go. true love is far fetched and hard to find. those who love you the most hurt you the best. those who claim to know you and still hurt you eithter a) don't know you at all or b) could care less about your feelings.
...that i do deserve a good man. well, dang. i don't need to say anything else about that one.
....that consistently inconsistent people usually have inconsistent emotions... or just bad luck. that you shouldn't judge someone from your experiences/interactions with them. you'll probably never know the plan for their life. there's just a great chance that you're not supposed to be a part of it.
....that childhood dreams can become realities. it might not feel the same when the dream isn't exactly as planned. though, that piece of the dream helped shape the dream in its totality. that piece made you believe in the dream. that piece pushed you towards the dream- played it's role. it was never supposed to be a reality.
....that people do not change for other people. people only change by their own will/desire to change, and/or the higher power they believe in. you can not change someone. it's best to pack your bags and keep it moving so you don't get hurt... again. never settle for less.
....that to understand true joy, you must know true pain. to understand pure love, you must understand pure hate. to understand a perfect relationship/friendship, you must experience a failed, imperfect one. to understand faithfulness, you must be betrayed. to understand God's will, you must die to yourself. to feel free, you had to have been in bondage. to feel alive, you must first have died.
....that the people who love you the most will never forget about you. no matter how much time passes without a word being spoken, you still have a piece of their heart captured. best friends are sometimes not the ones who are always there, but the ones who can't be- or aren't- but you know they would be if they could.
....listening to God is not easy when you're holding on to yourself. to submit yourself is to surrender all to God. to be obedient to God is to disobey your flesh. in following the Spirit of God, your mind and character have no choice but to follow.
...superficial relationships and friendships never last. if you don't have a solid base, or a common ground of understanding, there's no way it will stand. yes, fabricated love tears.
....there is a difference in being alone and being in solitude. being in solitude is the state of being alone, true- but it can be done by choice. it can be a time for reflection and growth. it suggests deliberate withdrawl. being alone suggests sadness, isolation, separation not by choice. nothing is wrong with being in solitude, but i believe something is very wrong to feel alone.
....that all i want for 2008 is to be happy. to learn to first, take care of me. to be in a place where i am alright with me. to think of my life and smile.
....God so desperately wants me to think of my life and smile.
