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Great Scott's blog: "stuff"

created on 12/06/2007  |  http://fubar.com/stuff/b164747

I Wonder

Don't remember where I found this. Enjoy. Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime? Can I get arrested for running into a Fire House yelling “Movie!, Movie!”? Can you be a closet claustrophobic? Could someone ever get addicted to counseling? If so, how could you treat them? Did Adam and Eve have navels? Did the early settlers ever go on a camping trip? Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you, but when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window? Do fish get cramps when they swim after eating? Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery? Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks? Do one-legged ducks swim in circles? Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as 4's? Does the little mermaid wear an algebra? Does the Postmaster General need a stamp of approval? Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can someone "draw a blank"? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another? How can there be "self help” groups? How come Superman could stop bullets with his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him? How come you press harder on a remote control when you know the battery is dead?

Giving it all you've got

Found this somewhere a while back: Subject: Giving 100% Did you ever wonder about those people who say they give more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103% or even 127%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. What makes your effort 100%? If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then: H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% But: A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100% And: B U L L S H I T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103% So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowlwdge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top. And look how far ass kissing will take you. A S S K I S S I N G 1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 127%
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