For The Subs And Doms!
Self-Control
If you can't control yourself--your vices, your emotions, your tendency to act out--you cannot control another person. You are too weak and self-indulgent to control another. As mentioned above, all submissives, even the best, resist control at times. Dealing with that resistance in a way that encourages good behavior in the submissive and helps to train her to be a better submissive and a happier person means realizing from the start that your submissive's actions, however you may dislike them, are not about you. They are, rather, about her problems with submitting. Learning not to respond narcissistically--i.e., with anger, personal affront, hurt, or defensiveness--when she behaves in a resisting or manipulative way, is part of self-control. Instead of overreacting, a self-controlled dominant will rationally and over time devise workable strategies based on his intimate knowledge of his submissive that discourage the behavior and attitudes he dislikes.
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